Tweet Messages Page 5

  • Q: How do you embarrass an archeologist? A: Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from.
  • Q: How do you fix a broken tuba? A: With a tuba glue.
  • Q: How do you get a Polak out of the bath tub? A: Throw in a bar of soap.
  • Q: How do you get a cellist to play fortissimo? A: Write 'pp, espressivo'.
  • Q: How do you get a clarinet player to play louder? A: You can't!
  • Q: How do you keep a blonde in suspense? A: (I'll tell you tomorrow. )
  • Q: How do you know if there is a drummer at your door? A: The knocking always speeds up.
  • Q: How do you know when a blonde has been making chocolate chip cookies? A: You find M&M shells all over the kitchen floor.
  • Q: How do you know when a trumpet player is at your door? A: The doorbell shrieks!
  • Q: How do you sink an Irish submarine? A: Knock on the hatch.
  • Q: How do you tell when a blonde reaches orgasm? A1: She drops her nail-file!
  • Q: How do you tell which is the Groom at a Polish wedding? A: He's the one with the CLEAN bowling shirt.
  • Q: How does Al Gore spell potato? A: T-A-T-E-R.
  • Q: How does a blonde moonwalk? A: She pulls down her panties and slides her ass along the floor!
  • Q: How does a blonde part their hair? A1: (Action of scissoring legs apart)A2: By doing the splits.
  • Q: How does a horny guy spell relief? A: B-L-O-N-D-E.
  • Q: How is Saddam like Fred Flintstone? A: Both may look out their windows and see Rubble.
  • Q: How is a man like a snowstorm? A: You never know when he's coming, how many inches you'll get, or how long it will last.
  • Q: How many 'Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb? A: None: A 'Real Woman' would have plenty of Real Men around to do it.
  • Q: How many Accountants does it take to change a light bulb? A: What sort of answer did you have in mind? A: None-just assume it's changed.
  • Q: How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
  • Q: How many Arians does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None: Arians aren't afraid of the dark.
  • Q: How many British navy Officers does it take to change a light bulb? A: Only one, but it takes him seven weeks to get there.
  • Q: How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Just one. . . but how do you get him in there with the cute, blonde?
  • Q: How many Hillary Clintons does it take to change a light bulb? A: One--she just holds the bulb and the world revolves around her.
  • Q: How many Iranians does it take to change a light bulb? A: One hundred - One to screw it in and 99 to hold the house hostage.
  • Q: How many Leos does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None: Leos are so enthusiastic they carry their own light.
  • Q: How many Mafia hitmen does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Three. One to screw it in, one to watch, and one to shoot the witness.
  • Q: How many Osamas does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: None. They don't have lightbulbs in caves
  • Q: How many PA's does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Nine. . . . . . . . one to do it and eight others to wish they'd been asked.
  • Q: How many Pentium designers does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: 1. 99904274017, but that's close enough for non-technical people.
  • Q: How many Pisceans does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Huh? The light's out?
  • Q: How many Scotsmen does it take to change a light bulb? A: Scotsmen don't change light bulbs, it's cheaper to sit in the dark
  • Q: How many U. S marines does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: 50. One to screw in the light bulb and the remaining 49 to guard him .
  • Q: How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
  • Q: How many Virgos does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Approximately 1. 000000 with an error of +/- 1 millionth.
  • Q: How many Waiters does it take to change a light bulb? A: None, even a burned out bulb can't catch a waiters eye
  • Q: How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Nobody said I needed doubles on that!
  • Q: How many absurdist/surrealist comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: November.
  • Q: How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb A: Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder. . .
  • Q: How many blondes does it take to play Hide and Seek? A: One.
  • Q: How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb? A: One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
  • Q: How many divorced men does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: None, the sockets go with the house.
  • Q: How many editors does it take to change a light bulb? A: If we change the light bulb, we'll have to change everything.
  • Q: How many editors does it take to change a lightbulb? A: It was supposed to be in place last week!
  • Q: How many idiots who ask stupid questions does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Change it to what?
  • Q: How many newsmen does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Only one, but he'll tell everybody.
  • Q: How many screenwriters to make Titanic a good movie? A: One more than they had.
  • Q: How many senators does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Two to sponsor the bill and thirty-three to constitute a quorum.
  • Q: How much does it cost to get married, Dad? A: I don't know son, I'm still paying for it.
  • Q: If Bill and Hillary jumped together off the Washington monument, who'd land first? A: Who cares!
  • Q: If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him? A: It might be your bicycle.
  • Q: WHY ARE BLONDES LIKE PIANOS? A: When they aren't upright, they're grand.
  • Q: WHY CAN`T BLONDES WATER-SKI? A: When they get their crotch wet they think they have to lay down.
  • Q: What Biblical and Renaissance characters does Hillary most resemble? A: Jezebel and Lucretia Borgia.
  • Q: What a BLONDE will ask the doctor, in the maternity ward? A: Is it mine?
  • Q: What are 3 two letter words that say small? A: Is it in.
  • Q: What are the best ten years of an Irishman's life? A: Third grade.
  • Q: What are two reasons why men don't mind their own business? 1. No mind2. No business.
  • Q: What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should? A: Stick his bill up his ass.
  • Q: What can save a dying blonde? A: Hair transplants.
  • Q: What can strike a blonde without her even knowing it? A: A thought.
  • Q: What did Bill Clinton say to Monica? A: I told you to lick my erection, not wreck my election.
  • Q: What did Louis Farrakahn say to Mike Tyson after the fight? A: No stupid an Eye for an Eye! ! ! !
  • Q: What did one flea say to the other flea when they came out of the movies? - A: Should we walk home or take a dog?
  • Q: What did the Production Manager give his kids for Christmas? A: Nothing. But he promised he'd make it up to them on the next one.
  • Q: What did the blonde do when she got her period? A: Looked around for the bastard that must have shot her?
  • Q: What did the blonde do when she heard that 90% of accidents occur around the home? A: She moved.
  • Q: What did the blonde think of the new computer? A: She didn't like it because she couldn't get channel 9.
  • Q: What did the elephant say to the naked man? A: It's cute but can you pick up peanuts with it?
  • Q: What did the first stoplight say to the second stoplight? A: Don't look I'm changing! !
  • Q: What did the hat say to the necktie? A: You go AHEAD I'll HANG AROUND!
  • Q: What did the snowman and his wife put over their baby's crib? A: A snowmobile!
  • Q: What dinosaur loves pancakes? A: A tri-syrup-tops.
  • Q: What directions did the ghost give the goblin? A: Make a fright turn at the corner.
  • Q: What do Bill Clinton and a fifteen-watt light bulb have in common? A: Neither one is very bright.
  • Q: What do a coffin and a condom have in common? A: They're both filled with stiffs, one's coming, one's going.
  • Q: What do a dildo and soy beans have in common? A: They are both substitute meats.
  • Q: What do blondes and cow-pats have in common? A: They both get easier to pick-up with age.
  • Q: What do the Republicans have that Bill Clinton wishes he had? A: A mandate to govern.
  • Q: What do you call Italian women in a sauna? A: Gorillas In The Mist!
  • Q: What do you call a blind German? A: A Not See (Nazi)
  • Q: What do you call a blonde lesbian? A: A waste.
  • Q: What do you call a blonde with a dollar on the top of their head? A: All you can eat, under a buck.
  • Q: What do you call a brunette and three blondes in a corner? A: You don't, you see if you've got 3 condoms.
  • Q: What do you call a cat when he first wakes up with the alarm clock? - A: Catsup!
  • Q: What do you call a dumb blonde behind a steering wheel? A: An air bag.
  • Q: What do you call a frog with no hind legs? A: Unhoppy! !
  • Q: What do you call a laughing motorcycle? A: A Yamahahaha
  • Q: What do you call a male quartet? A: Three men and a tenor.
  • Q: What do you call a person who plays the viola? A: A violator.
  • Q: What do you call a series of FDIV instructions on a Pentium? A: Successive approximations.
  • Q: What do you call a sleepwalking nun? A: A roamin' Catholic!
  • Q: What do you call a truckload of vibrators? A: Toys for Twats.
  • Q: What do you call blonde twins doing bubble gum commercials? A: Double-dumb.
  • Q: What do you call cheese that's not yours? A: Nacho cheese!
  • Q: What do you call it when a blonde gets taken over by a demon? A: A vacant posession.
  • Q: What do you call the folks who hang around the musicians at conservatories? A: Violists.
  • Q: What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins? A: A pair of Re-bachs.
  • Q: What do you get if Bach falls off a horse, but has the courage to get on again and continue riding? A: Bach in the saddle again.
  • Q: What do you get if you cross a lamp with a violin? A: You get light music.
  • Q: What do you get when you cross a crooked lawyer with a crooked politician? A: Chelsea.
  • Q: What do you get when you drop a piano down a mine shaft? A: A flat minor.
  • Q: What do you get when you play a new age song backwards? A: A new age song.
  • Q: What do you say to the banjo player in the three piece suit? A: Will the defendant please rise.
  • Q: What does a 75-year-old woman have between her breasts that a 25-year-old doesn't? A: Her navel.
  • Q: What does a blonde and a turtle have in common? A: If either one of them end up on there back they are both f*cked.
  • Q: What does a blonde make best for dinner? A: Reservations.
  • Q: What does a blonde say when you ask her if her blinker is working? A: Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No.
  • Q: What does the Bermuda Triangle and blondes have in common? A: They've both swallowed a lot of semen.
  • Q: What goes krab, krab, krab? - A: A dog barking in a mirror.
  • Q: What happened to the Indian who drank too much tea? A: He drowned in his teapea.
  • Q: What happens when a blonde gets Alzheimers disease? A: Her IQ goes up!
  • Q: What has Clinton done that no one has been able to do in the last 5 years? A: Unite the Republican Party.
  • Q: What has got four legs and an arm? - A: A Rottweiler in a playground.
  • Q: What is 61 to a blonde? A: She wants 8 (ate) more.
  • Q: What is 68 to a blonde? A: Where she goes down on you and you owe her one.
  • Q: What is 74 to a blonde? A: 69 plus VAT
  • Q: What is Clinton's plan to create thousands of small businesses? A: Take thousands of big businesses and wait four years.
  • Q: What is Iraq's national bird? A: Duck.
  • Q: What is a bellybutton for? A: It gives a blonde a place to park her gum on the way down.
  • Q: What is a blonde's definition of a naval destroyer? A: A hula hoop with a nail in it.
  • Q: What is a crowbar? A: A place were crows go to get a drink!
  • Q: What is a four-letter word that ends in 'k' and means the same as intercourse? A: Talk
  • Q: What is dumber than the Blonde jokes above? A: Me for wasting hours editing and typing these damn things.
  • Q: What is hard, six inches long, has two nuts, and can make a girl fat? A: Almond Joy candy bar
  • Q: What is the best recording of the Walton viola concerto? A: Music Minus One.
  • Q: What is the blonde's chronic speech impediment? A: She can't say No.
  • Q: What is the difference between Bill Clinton and Elvis? A: Elvis was drafted and served proudly in the Army.
  • Q: What is the difference between Dan Quayle, Bill Clinton and Jane Fonda? A: Jane Fonda went to Vietnam.
  • Q: What is the difference between Windows 95 and Windows 98? A: 3 years
  • Q: What is the difference between a banjo and a South American Macaw? A: One is loud, obnoxious and noisy; the other is a bird.
  • Q: What is the difference between a flashing red traffic light and a flashing yellow traffic light? A: The color.
  • Q: What is the difference between a saxophone and a chainsaw? A: It's all in the grip.
  • Q: What is the difference between a viola and a trampoline? A: You take off your shoes before you jump on the trampoline.
  • Q: What is the difference between blondes and traffic signs? A: Some traffic signs say stop.
  • Q: What is the difference between medium and rare? A: 6 inches is medium, 8 inches is rare.
  • Q: What is the difference between the first and last desk of a viola section? A: Half a measure.
  • Q: What is the one thing you will never hear a man say? A: Her tits are just too big.
  • Q: What kind of cats lay around the house? - A: Car-pets!
  • Q: What kind of suit does a bee wear to work? A: A buzzness suit!
  • Q: What kind of witch goes to the beach? A: Sandwitch
  • Q: What problems would you face if you were arrested for drunk driving? A: I'd probably lose my buzz a lot faster.
  • Q: What was the real purpose of Bill's college visit to Moscow? A: To study economics.
  • Q: What what can you make from baked beans and onions? A: Tear gas.
  • Q: What's a cat's favorite food? - A: Petatoes!
  • Q: What's a cat's second favorite food? - A: Spa-catti!
  • Q: What's another name for the Intel Inside sticker they put on Pentiums? A: The warning label.
  • Q: What's got four legs and no ears? A: Mike Tyson's dog.
  • Q: What's green and purple and goes up and down? A: Barney in an elevator.
  • Q: What's musical and handy in a supermarket? A: A Chopin Liszt.
  • Q: What's the best place to photograph Clinton Administration officials? A: A police lineup.
  • Q: What's the definition of a gentleman? A: One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!
  • Q: What's the definition of a nerd? A: Someone who has his or her own alto clarinet.
  • Q: What's the difference between Bill Clinton and Jimmy Carter? A: It took Bill less than 100 days to botch a military mission.
  • Q: What's the difference between Bill Clinton and Joseph Stalin? A: Some of Stalin's subjects admired him.
  • Q: What's the difference between Personal Injury lawyers and Congress? A: No fee--If No Recovery!
  • Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a brick? A: When you lay a brick it doesn't follow you around for two weeks whining.
  • Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a broom closet? A: Only two men fit inside a broom closet at once.
  • Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a phone booth? A1: You need a quarter to use the phone.
  • Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a solar powered calculator? A: The blonde works in the dark!
  • Q: What's the difference between a chainsaw and an accordion? A: A chainsaw can be tuned.
  • Q: What's the difference between a chorus line of blondes and a magician? A: A magician has a cunning array of stunts.
  • Q: What's the difference between a counterfeit dollar and a skinny blonde? A: One's a phony buck.
  • Q: What's the difference between a horse and the weather? A: One is reined up and the other rains down.
  • Q: What's the difference between a violist and a dressmaker? A: A dressmaker tucks up frills.
  • Q: What's the inscription on dead blues-singers tombstones? A: I didn't wake up this morning. . .
  • Q: What's the motto of the Polish Solidarity Union? A: Every man for himself.
  • Q: What's the only thing worse than a bagpiper? A: Good question. We're still trying to find out too.
  • Q: What's the slowest thing in the world? A: A Mexican funeral with only two sets of jumper cables.
  • Q: Whatever happened to the bedbugs who fell in love? A: They got married in the spring.
  • Q: Whats the difference between erotic and kinky? A: Erotic is when you use a feather. Kinky is when you use the whole chicken.
  • Q: When did Clinton's friends become sure that he had political ambitions? A: When he married outside of his family.
  • Q: When driving through fog, what should you use? A: Your car.
  • Q: When is a bad time to cross a black cat? A: When you are a mouse!
  • Q: When is a strange dog most likely to go into your house? - A: When the door is open.
  • Q: When's the best time to take your doberman pinscher for a walk? - A: Anytime he wants to go.
  • Q: Where did the kittens go on their class trip? - A: To a mewseum.
  • Q: Where do you find 60 million french jokes? A: In France.
  • Q: Where does an Irish person go on a vacation? A: A new bar
  • Q: Where is the world's fastest chicken from? A: Ethiopia!
  • Q: Which is easier for a man to leave: the women or the Wine? A: It depends on the age.
  • Q: Which way did the programmer go? A: He went DATA way!
  • Q: Who would become President of the U. S. A if the President died? A: Bill Clinton of course!
  • Q: Why are blondes like corn flakes? A: Because they're simple, easy and they taste good.
  • Q: Why are cowgirls bowlegged? A: Cowboys like to eat with their hats on.
  • Q: Why are gorillas so noisy? A: They were raised in a zoo!
  • Q: Why are orchestra intermissions only twenty minutes long? A: So the violists don't need to be retrained.
  • Q: Why are people in Arkansas having peanut butter and jelly for Thanksgiving this year? A: Because they can't afford any more pork.
  • Q: Why are there more jokes about Waco than Jonestown? A: The punch lines were too long in Jonestown.
  • Q: Why aren't Clinton White House staffers given coffee breaks? A: It takes too long to retrain them.
  • Q: Why aren't Hindu and Chinese people allowed to play hockey? A: Because everytime they go into the corner they open up a convienent store.
  • Q: Why can't Bill Clinton file a defamation of character suit against his critics? A: Because Bill Clinton has no character to defame.
  • Q: Why can't blondes make ice cubes? A: They always forget the recipe.
  • Q: Why can't the bankrupt cowboy complain? A: He has got no beef.
  • Q: Why did Bill Clinton cross the road? A: To meet the chick.
  • Q: Why did Bill Clinton cross the road? A: To tax the chicken.
  • Q: Why did Bill go out to sea on an aircraft carrier? A: To promote off-shore drilling.
  • Q: Why did the blonde guy put ice in his condom? A: To keep the swelling down.
  • Q: Why did the blonde have a hysterectomy? A: She wanted to stop having grandchildren.
  • Q: Why did the blonde keep a empty carton of milk in the fridge? A: In case she wanted black coffee.
  • Q: Why did the blonde keep ice cubes in the freezer? A: So she could keep the refrigerator cold.
  • Q: Why did the blonde try and steal a police car? A: She saw 911 on the back and thought it was a Porsche.
  • Q: Why did the blonde want to become a veterinarian? A: Because she loved children.
  • Q: Why did the boy bring a ladder to chorus? A: He wanted to sing higher!
  • Q: Why did the clown cross the road? A: To find his rubber chicken.
  • Q: Why did the clown wear loud socks? A: So his feet wouldn't fall asleep.
  • Q: Why did the dinosaur cross the road? A: Because the chicken wasn't invented yet.
  • Q: Why did the eskimo wash his clothes in Tide? A: Because it was too cold outside.
  • Q: Why did the farmer call his pig Ink? A: Because it was always running out of the pen.
  • Q: Why did the gorilla fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead.
  • Q: Why did the rooster cross the road? A: To get to the chick across the street!
  • Q: Why did the turkey cross the road? A: To prove he wasn't chicken.
  • Q: Why didn't the T-rex skeleton attack the museum visitors? A: Because she had no guts!
  • Q: Why didn't the blondes go to the movies on one buck night? A: They couldn't fit a deer into the car.
  • Q: Why do Polish names end in ski? A: Because they can't spell tobbagan.
  • Q: Why do bagpipers walk when they play? A: To get away from the noise.
  • Q: Why do bikes have kick-stands? A: Because they're two-tired.
  • Q: Why do blonde's get confused in the ladies room? A: They have to pull their own pants down.
  • Q: Why do blondes always drink with straws? A: Practice.
  • Q: Why do blondes have orgasms? A: So they know when to stop having sex.
  • Q: Why do blondes occupy about 90% of the net bandwidth? A: Because they keep accidentally deleting their copies of the blonde joke list.
  • Q: Why do blondes wear their hair up? A: To catch everything that goes over their heads
  • Q: Why do brunettes know so many blonde jokes? A: Gives 'em something to do on Saturday night!
  • Q: Why do cats like to hear other cats make noise? - A: It's meow-sic to their ears!
  • Q: Why do drummers always have trouble entering a room? A: They never know when to come in.
  • Q: Why do hens lay eggs? A: If they dropped them, they'd break
  • Q: Why do liberals travel in threes? A: One to read, one to write and the other one to keep an eye on both intellectuals.
  • Q: Why do men become smarter during sex? A: Because they are plugged into a genius.
  • Q: Why do so many fishermen own banjos? A: They make great anchors!
  • Q: Why do they always fly around a live turkey in a cage on Air Force 1? A: For spare parts.
  • Q: Why do they say 'Amen' at the end of a prayer instead of 'Awomen'? A: The same reason they sing Hymns instead of Hers!
  • Q: Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the morning? A: They don't have balls to scratch.
  • Q: Why does Chelsea look so stupid and ugly? A: Heredity.
  • Q: Why does a blonde insist on him wearing a condom? A: So she can have a doggie bag for later.
  • Q: Why does everyone hate a banjo right off? A: Saves time.
  • Q: Why does everyone love cats? - A: They're purr-fect!
  • Q: Why don't Deputy Fire Marshals look out the window in the morning? A: So they have something to do in the afternoon.
  • Q: Why don't blind people skydive? A: It scares the heck out of the dog.
  • Q: Why don't blondes eat Jelly? A: They put tacks in their shoulder pads.
  • Q: Why don't women have men's brains? A: Because they don't have penises to put them in.
  • Q: Why don't you wear snow boots? A: Because they'll melt.
  • Q: Why is Bill Clinton's economic plan called positively atheist? A: Because it hasn't got a prayer.
  • Q: Why is Bill infuriated with Chelsea's new private school? A: They broke family tradition by making her wear a uniform.
  • Q: Why is a dog's nose in the middle of it's face? - A: Because it's the scenter.
  • Q: Why is it good that accordionists have a half-ounce more brains than horses? A: So they don't disgrace themselves in parades.
  • Q: Why is the blonde's brain the size of a pea in the morning? A: It swells at night.
  • Q: Why should you keep a blonde on the job 7 days a week? A: So you don't have to retrain them every Monday.
  • Q: how many vietnam vets does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: YOU DON'T KNOW! YOU WEREN'T THERE, MAN! ! ! YOU'LL NEVER KNOW! ! ! ! !
  • Q: what's a biologists definition of a graphA: an animal with a long neck
  • Q:What did one plate say to the other plate? A:('Lunch is on me! ')
  • QUESTION: What do you get from a bee that has an udder? ANSWER: Milk and honey.
  • QUESTION: What is honeymoon? ANSWER: That brief span of time between, I do and You'd better!
  • QUESTION: Why should a honeymoon only be six days? ANSWER: Because seven days makes a whole week.
  • Quality will be prized as a precious possession. -Unknown Author
  • Que sera, sera.
  • Queen Elizabeth I~ All my possessions for a moment of time.
  • Queen Elizabeth I~ Anger makes dull men witty but it keeps them poor.
  • Queen Juliana~ I cant understand it. I cant even understand the people who can understand it.
  • Quentin Crisp~ To know all is not to forgive all. It is to despise everybody.
  • Quentin Crisp~ Treat all disasters as if they were trivialities but never treat a triviality as if it were a disaster.
  • Quentin~ The children despise their parents until the age of when they suddenly become just like them-thus preserving the system.
  • Question: How many men does it take to mop the floor? Answer: None, it's a women's job.
  • Question: What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? Answer: A Lickalotopus.
  • Question: What's another name for pickled bread? Answer: Dill-dough.
  • Question: What's the difference between sin and shame? Answer: It is a sin to put it in, but it's a shame to pull it out.
  • Question: Why is divorce so expensive? Answer: Because it's worth it.
  • Quieting the chattering mind promotes directed action.
  • Quintilian~ A liar should have a good memory.
  • Quintus Septimius Tertullianus~ Truth persuades by teaching but does not teach by persuading.
  • Quit now, you'll never make it. If you disregard this advice, you'll be halfway there. -David Zucker
  • Quotations are sometimes valuable pearls, but original thoughts can be priceless treasure.
  • R. D. Laing~ Alienation as our present destiny is achieved only by outrageous violence perpetrated by human beings on human beings.
  • R. H. Grant~ When you hire people that are smarter than you are you prove you are smarter than they are.
  • RAPTURE THIS!
  • REAL SCOTSMEN WEAR KILTS because sheep can hear a zipper at 500 yards!
  • REALITY.SYS corrupted: Reboot universe? (Y/N/Q)
  • Rabbi David Wolpe~ One of the things that makes God different from people is that God is always available to listen.
  • Rabbi H. Schachtel~ Happiness is not having what you want but wanting what you have.
  • Rabbi Hillel~ If I am not for myself who is for me But if I am for my own self only what am I and if not now when
  • Rabbinical Saying~ Dont limit a child to your own learning for he was born in another time.
  • Rabbit: Are you sure this bottle of special carrot juice will cure me? Doctor: Absolutely. No rabbit ever came back for another.
  • Rabindranath Tagore~ Depth of friendship does not depend on length of acquaintance.
  • Rabindranath Tagore~ Faith is the bird that feels the light when the dawn is still dark.
  • Rabindranath Tagore~ Let your life lightly dance on the edges of Time like dew on the tip of a leaf.
  • Rabindranath Tagore~ The mountain remains unmoved at seeming defeat by the mist.
  • Rabindranath Tagore~ Trees are the earths endless effort to speak to the listening heaven.
  • Rabindranath Tagore~ While God waits for His temple to be built of love Men bring stones.
  • Rachel Blanchard~ I think its more important to be fit so that you can be healthy and enjoy activities than it is to have a good body.
  • Rachel Carson~ Those who contemplate the beauty of the earth find reserves of strength that will endure as long as life lasts.
  • Radioactive cats have 18 half-lives.
  • Radiquet~ A true artist is born with a unique voice and cannot copy so he has only to copy to prove his originality.
  • Rainer Maria Rilke~ Live your questions now and perhaps even without knowing it you will live along some distant day into your answers.
  • Rainer Maria Rilke~ Love consists in this that two solitudes protect and touch and greet each other.
  • Raining like a cow peeing on a flat rock.
  • Ralph Bunche~ If you want to get across an idea wrap it up in a person.
  • Ralph Carl Eichelberger~ Sure youre entitled to your opinion no matter how wrong you are.
  • Ralph Erskine~ The job of buildings is to improve human relations architecture must ease them not make them worse.
  • Ralph Hodgson~ Some things have to be believed to be seen.
  • Ralph Kiner~ All of his saves have come in relief appearances
  • Ralph Kiner~ Hello everybody. Welcome to Kiners Corner. This is....uh. Im...uhRalph Kiner
  • Ralph Kiner~ Kevin McReynolds stops at third and he scores.
  • Ralph Kiner~ On Fathers Day we again wish you all happy birthday.
  • Ralph Kiner~ Sutton lost games in a row without winning a ballgame.
  • Ralph Kiner~ Tony Gwynn was named player of the year for April.
  • Ralph Novak~ Reading this book is like waiting for the first shoe to drop.
  • Ralph Waldo Emerson~ A friend is a person with whom I may be sincere. Before him I may think aloud.
  • Ralph Waldo Emerson~ A friend might well be reckoned the masterpiece of nature.
  • Ralph Waldo Emerson~ A good intention clothes itself with power.
  • Ralph Waldo Emerson~ A man is related to all nature.
  • Ralph Waldo Emerson~ A sect or party is an elegant incognito devised to save a man from the vexation of thinking.
  • Ralph Waldo Emerson~ A true friend is somebody who can make us do what we can.
  • Ralph Waldo Emerson~ All life is an experiment.
  • Ralph Waldo Emerson~ Belief consists in accepting the affirmations of the soul unbelief in denying them.
  • Ralph Waldo Emerson~ Beware when the great God lets loose a thinker on this planet.
  • Ralph Waldo Emerson~ Character is higher than intellect... A great soul will be strong to live as well as to think.
  • Ralph Waldo Emerson~ Character is what can do without success.
  • Ralph Waldo Emerson~ Children are all foreigners.
  • Ralph Waldo Emerson~ Do not go where the path may lead go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.
  • Ralph Waldo Emerson~ Each man has his own vocation his talent is his call. There is one direction in which all space is open to him.
  • Ralph Waldo Emerson~ Every man is a divinity in disguise a God playing the fool.
  • Ralph Waldo Emerson~ Fate is nothing but the deeds committed in a prior state of existence.
  • Ralph Waldo Emerson~ Great men are they who see that the spiritual is stronger than any material force that thoughts rule the world.
  • Ralph Waldo Emerson~ He then learns that in going down into the secrets of his own mind he has descended into the secrets of all minds.
  • Ralph Waldo Emerson~ He who has a thousand friendsHas not a friend to spareWhile he who has one enemyShall meet him everywhere.
  • Ralph Waldo Emerson~ I like the silent church before the service begins better than any preaching.
  • Ralph Waldo Emerson~ If I have lost confidence in myself I have the universe against me.
  • Ralph Waldo Emerson~ It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them.
  • Ralph Waldo Emerson~ It is very hard to be simple enough to be good.
  • Ralph Waldo Emerson~ Light is the first of painters. There is no object so foul that intense light will not make it beautiful.
  • Ralph Waldo Emerson~ Love and you shall be loved.
  • Ralph Waldo Emerson~ Make yourself necessary to somebody. Do not make life hard to any.
  • Ralph Waldo Emerson~ Nothing is at last sacred but the integrity of your own mind.
  • Ralph Waldo Emerson~ Often a certain abdication of prudence and foresight is an element of success.
  • Ralph Waldo Emerson~ Our chief want in life is somebody who shall make us do what we can.
  • Ralph Waldo Emerson~ Peace cannot be achieved through violence it can only be attained through understanding.
  • Ralph Waldo Emerson~ So of cheerfulness or a good temper the more it is spent the more it remains.
  • Ralph Waldo Emerson~ The ancestor of every action is a thought.
  • Ralph Waldo Emerson~ The god of the cannibals will be a cannibal of the crusaders a crusader and of the merchants a merchant.
  • Ralph Waldo Emerson~ The reward of a thing well done is to have done it.
  • Ralph Waldo Emerson~ The sky is the daily bread of the eyes.
  • Ralph Waldo Emerson~ There are always those who think they know what is your responsibility better than you do.
  • Ralph Waldo Emerson~ Thought is the blossom language the bud action the fruit behind it.
  • Ralph Waldo Emerson~ Thought is the seed of action.
  • Ralph Waldo Emerson~ Tis the good reader that makes the good book.
  • Ralph Waldo Emerson~ To fill the hour-that is happiness.
  • Ralph Waldo Emerson~ Tobacco coffee alcohol hashish prussic acid strychnine are weak dilutions the surest poison is time.
  • Ralph Waldo Emerson~ Trust men and they will be true to you treat them greatly and they will show themselves great.
  • Ralph Waldo Emerson~ Unless you try to do something beyond what you have already mastered you will never grow.
  • Ralph Waldo Emerson~ We do what we must and call it by the best names.
  • Ralph Waldo Emerson~ Work and acquire and thou hast chained the wheel of Chance.
  • Ramsey Clark~ Who will protect the public when the police violate the law
  • Randall Jarrell~ But be as you have been my happiness...
  • Randolph Silliman Bourne~ Friendships are fragile things and require as much handling as any other fragile and precious thing.
  • Rapture-- the only way to fly!
  • Rather fall with honor than succeed by fraud. -Sophocles
  • Rattling 'round like a pea in a jam jar.
  • Raul E. Sanchez~ Mire Hacia Las Estrellas. Look At The Stars.
  • Ray Kroc~ Youre only as good as the people you hire.
  • Raymond Claud Ferdinan Aron~ What passes for optimism is most often the effect of an intellectual error.
  • Raymond F. DeVoe Jr.~ Economics is war pursued by other means.
  • Raymond Holliwell~ No matter what we want of life we have to give up something in order to get it.
  • Raymond Hull~ He who trims himself to suit everyone will soon whittle himself away.
  • Reach high, for stars lie hidden in your soul. Dream deep, for every dream precedes the goal. -Pamela Vaull Starr
  • Reach high, for stars lie hidden in your soul. Dream deep, for every dream precedes the goal. -Ralph Vaull Starr
  • Read the Bible -- It will scare the hell out of you.
  • Read your Bible. There WILL be a pop quiz.....
  • Reading furnishes the mind only with materials of knowledge; it is thinking that makes what we read ours. -John Locke
  • Real Live Preacher~ Fidelity to commitment in the face of doubts and fears is a very spiritual thing.
  • Real Live Preacher~ Im searching through all that has ever been hoped in praise of what can never be known.
  • Real Live Preacher~ Integrity combined with faithfulness is a powerful force and worthy of great respect.
  • Real Live Preacher~ Its not foresight or hindsight we need. We need sight plain and simple. We need to see what is right in front of us.
  • Real Live Preacher~ This isnt good or bad. Its just the way of things. Nothing stays the same.
  • Real Live Preacher~ You cant love anyone until you understand that you cant love everyone.
  • Real Men Love JESUS!
  • Real knowledge is to know the extent of one's ignorance.
  • Real magic in relationships means an absence of judgment of others. -Wayne Dyer
  • Real men don't use backups, they post their stuff on a public ftp server and let the rest of the world make copies. - Linus Torvalds
  • Real success is finding your lifework in the work that you love. -David McCullough
  • Real wealth is ideas plus energy. -Buckminster Fuller
  • Real women don't have hot flashes, they have power surges!
  • Reality can be beaten with enough imagination. -Unknown Author
  • Reality is the Anchovy on the Pizza of Life
  • Reality leaves a lot to the imagination. -John Lennon
  • Reality? Is that where the pizza delivery guy comes from?
  • Really Bad Players Joining Daily. Come Win Some of Their Money. Superior Poker
  • Really leery, rarely Larry.
  • Rebecca West~ Before a war military science seems a real science like astronomy but after a war it seems more like astrology.
  • Rebecca West~ The main difference between men and women is that men are lunatics and women are idiots.
  • Rebecca West~ The point is that nobody likes having salt rubbed into their wounds even if it is the salt of the earth.
  • Rebel PRIDE!
  • Recipe; step-by-step instructions for preparing ingredients you forgot to buy, in utensils you don't own, to make a dish the dog won't eat.
  • Red Buttons~ Hes a real loser. He moved into a new neighborhood and got run over by the Welcome Wagon.
  • Redneck Commandment #1. Y'all shalt always remember your manners.
  • Redneck Commandment #10. Y'all shalt always remember where you come from.
  • Redneck Commandment #3. Y'all shalt not sass ya' mama.
  • Redneck Commandment #8. Y'all shalt always clean your plate.
  • Redneck Compliment: Cute as a sack full of puppies.
  • Redneck Compliment: If I felt any better I'd have to shoot myself in the foot.
  • Redneck Compliment: If things get any better, I may have to hire someone to help me enjoy it.
  • Redneck Computer Term: BAR CODE: Them's the fight'n rules down at the local tavern.
  • Redneck Computer Term: BYTE: What your pit bull dun to cousin Jethro.
  • Redneck Computer Term: DISKETTE: A female Disco dancer.
  • Redneck Computer Term: FAX: What you lie about to the IRS.
  • Redneck Computer Term: KEYBOARD: Where you hang the keys to the John Deere.
  • Redneck Computer Term: MAC: Big Bubba's favorite fast food.
  • Redneck Computer Term: MODEM: What ya do when the grass gets too high.
  • Redneck Computer Term: MOUSE PAD: Where Mickey and Minnie live.
  • Redneck Computer Term: SCREEN: Helps keep the skeeters off the porch.
  • Redneck Computer Term: SUPERCONDUCTOR: Amtrak's Employee of the year.
  • Redneck Description: A bothersome person is "like a booger that you just can't thump off."
  • Redneck Description: He ran like his feet was on fire and his ass was catchin.
  • Redneck Description: If something is hard to do, it's "like trying to herd cats."
  • Redneck Insult: The wheels still turning, but the hamsters dead
  • Redneck Insult: Your momma's so fat, when she stepped up on the scale to be weighed, all it said was 'To be continued.'
  • Redneck Threat: Don't you be makin' me open a can o' whup-ass on ya!
  • Redneck Threat: I'll hit you so hard your socks will roll up and down.
  • Redneck Threat: I'll jar your preserves.
  • Redneck Tip: Always identify people in your yard before shooting at them.
  • Redneck Tip: If you have to vacuum the bed, it's time to change the sheets.
  • Redneck Tip: Livestock usually is a poor choice for a wedding gift.
  • Redneck Tip: Refrain from talking to characters on the screen. Tests have proven they can't hear you.
  • Redneck Tip: The socially refined never fish coins out of public toilets, especially if other people are around.
  • Redneck Tip: When approaching a four-way stop, the vehicle with the largest tires always has the right of way.
  • Redneck Vocabulary: Ah - The things you see with.
  • Redneck Vocabulary: Aig - Which came first, the chicken or the aig?
  • Redneck Vocabulary: Bawl - What water does.
  • Redneck Vocabulary: Bidness - The art of selling something for more than you paid for it.
  • Redneck Vocabulary: Bobbycue - A delectable Southern sandwich of chopped pork, cole slaw, and a fiery sauce.
  • Redneck Vocabulary: Doc - A condition caused by the absence of light.
  • Redneck Vocabulary: Everthang - All-encompassing.
  • Redneck Vocabulary: Foller - Spies and private detectives spend a lot of time doing this.
  • Redneck Vocabulary: Hale - Where General Sherman went for what he did to Etlanna.
  • Redneck Vocabulary: Idinit - "Mighty hot today, idinit?"
  • Redneck Vocabulary: Moanin - Between daybreak and noon.
  • Redneck Vocabulary: Ovair - In that direction.
  • Redneck Vocabulary: Show - "It show is hot today."
  • Redneck Would Not Say: - Has anybody seen the sideburns trimmer?
  • Redneck Would Not Say: - Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace?
  • Redneck Would Not Say: - Honey, do these bonsai trees need watering?
  • Redneck Would Not Say: - I'll have the arugula and ridicchio salad.
  • Redneck Would Not Say: - I've got it all on a floppy disk.
  • Redneck Would Not Say: - I've got two cases of Zima for the Super Bowl.
  • Redneck Would Not Say: - Little Debbie snack cakes have too many fat grams.
  • Redneck Would Not Say: - My fiancée, Paula Jo, is registered at Tiffany's.
  • Redneck Would Not Say: - No kids in the back of the pick-up, it's not safe.
  • Redneck Would Not Say: - The tires on that truck are too big.
  • Redneck Would Not Say: - Unsweetened tea tastes better.
  • Redneck Would Not Say: - We're vegetarians.
  • Redneck Would Not Say: - Who's Richard Petty?
  • Redneck Would Not Say: - Wrasslin's fake.
  • Redneck Would Not Say: - You can't feed that to the dog.
  • Redneck on The Weather: Wintry roads are said to be "slicker than owl snot.
  • Regardless of circumstances, each man lives in a world of his own making.
  • Reginald Blyth~ If all men lead mechanical unpoetical lifes this is the real nihilism the real undoing of the world.
  • Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable. -Sydney Harris
  • Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable. -Sydney J Harris
  • Regular or extra-crispy: How will you spend eternity?
  • Rehab is for quitters.
  • Reincarnation is making a comeback!
  • Reincarnation: Been that, done there.
  • Relax, its only ONES and ZEROS!
  • Religions are cults with more members.
  • Religions are just large Cults!
  • Religious groups should stay out of politics; or be taxed
  • Relying on the government to protect your privacy is like asking a peeping tom to install your window blinds. - John Perry Barlow
  • Remember happiness doesn't depend upon who you are or what you have; it depends solely on what you think.
  • Remember my name — you'll be screaming it later.
  • Remember son, many a good story has been ruined by over verification. - James Gordon Bennett
  • Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk. -Unknown Author
  • Remember this: The house doesn't beat the player. It just gives him the opportunity to beat himself. - Nicholas (Nick the Greek) Dandalos
  • Remember when conservatives protected privacy and freedom?
  • Remember, don't put it off... Go ahead and do it... If you get to it... And don't do it... You may never get to it.. To do it... Again.
  • Remember, don't put it off... Go ahead and do it...If you get to it...And don't do it...You may never get to it..To do it...
  • Remember, happiness doesn't depend upon who you are or what you have, it depends solely upon what you think. -Dale Carnegie
  • Remember, if you see any typos .... the dog did it.
  • Remember, pain is nature's way of reminding you who's in charge.
  • Remember, worth and value are not wrapped up in what you do.You are not a human doing.You are a human being.
  • Remember, you can earn more money, but when time is spent is gone forever. -Zig Ziglar
  • Rene Descartes~ It is only prudent never to place complete confidence in that by which we have even once been deceived.
  • Rene Descartes~ The greatest minds are capable of the greatest vices as well as of the greatest virtues.
  • Repairing Old Clothesby Fred Bare
  • Repeal Inhibition!
  • Reporter: My editor sent me to do the burglary. Policeman: You're too late - it's already been done.
  • Reporter: To what do you attribute your old age? Old Man: To the fact that I was born in 1890.
  • Reproachful speech from either side The want of argument supplied; They rail, reviled; as often ends The contests of disputing friends. - John Gay
  • Republicans help the poor during the holidays by sending 50, one buck at a time, to panhandlers on the street.
  • Reputation is made in a moment: character is built in a lifetime.
  • Reputation is what men and women think of us; character is what God and angels know of us. -Thomas Paine
  • Research is the process of going up alleys to see if they are blind. - Marston Bates
  • Resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die. - Malachy Mccourt
  • Reset Universe (Y/N) ?
  • Respect commands itself and it can neither be given nor withheld when it is due. -Eldridge Cleaver
  • Respect is mutual, if you don't respect others viewpoints, chances are they won't acknowledge yours.
  • Responsibility walks hand in hand with capacity and power. - Josiah Gilbert Holland
  • Retired colonel, talking of the good old days: Have you ever hunted bear? His grandson's teacher: No, but I've been fishing in shorts.
  • Reubin Askew~ We must stop talking about the American dream and start listening to the dreams of Americans.
  • Reunite Gondwanaland.
  • Rev. Randall R. McBride Jr.~ Success will not lower its standard to us. We must raise our standard to success.
  • Rhea Olsen~ A good friend can shield you from the storm.
  • RicS~ Real programmers are those that can sleep in front of terminals ... with their eyes opened.
  • Rich Kulawiec~ Any sufficiently advanced bug is indistinguishable from a feature.
  • Rich earn; smart learn.
  • Richard Adams~ My heart has joined the Thousand for my friend stopped running today.
  • Richard Bach~ As a rule what is out of sight disturbs mens minds more seriously than what they see.
  • Richard Bach~ In order to live free and happily you must sacrifice boredom. It is not always an easy sacrifice.
  • Richard Bach~ Sometimes when learning comes before experience It doesnt make sense right away.
  • Richard Bach~ You are never given a wish without also being given the power to make it come true. You may have to work for it however.
  • Richard Bach~ You teach best what you most need to learn.
  • Richard Baxter~ Dangers bring fears and fears more dangers bring.
  • Richard Bently~ No man is demolished but by himself.
  • Richard Brinsley Sheridan~ He is indebted to his memory for his jests and to his imagination for his facts.
  • Richard Brinsley Sheridan~ The surest way not to fail is to determine to succeed.
  • Richard Dehmel~ A little kindness from person to person is better than a vast love for all humankind.
  • Richard Exely~ Failing doesnt make you a failure. Giving up accepting your failure refusing to try again does
  • Richard Fenyman~ What did you ask at school today
  • Richard Feynman~ I believe that a scientist looking at nonscientific problems is just as dumb as the next guy.
  • Richard Feynman~ Physicists like to think that all you have to do is say these are the conditions now what happens next
  • Richard Gordon~ In the th century specialisation has become the counterfeit of brilliance.
  • Richard Guggenheimer~ Unless a life is activated by sustained purpose it can become a depressingly haphazard affair.
  • Richard Harkness~ What is a committee A group of the unwilling picked from the unfit to do the unnecessary.
  • Richard Harris~ Probably the most distinctive characteristic of the successful politician is selective cowardice.
  • Richard J. Ferris~ It is now possible for a flight attendant to get a pilot pregnant.
  • Richard Jefferies~ It is eternity now. I am in the midst of it. It is about me and the sunshine.
  • Richard Kemph~ Quotes are nothing but inspiration for the uninspired.
  • Richard L. Evans~ Dont let life discourage you everyone who got where he is had to begin where he was.
  • Richard Leider~ The purpose of life is to live a life of purpose.
  • Richard M. Nixon~ Always remember others may hate you but those who hate you dont win unless you hate them. And then you destroy yourself.
  • Richard Milhous Nixon~ By taking this action I hope that I will have hastened the start of the healing.
  • Richard Milhous Nixon~ Get a good nights sleep and dont bug anybody without asking me. (To re-election campaign manager Clark MacGregor)
  • Richard Milhous Nixon~ I concede
  • Richard Milhous Nixon~ I want you to stonewall it. (To staff on news of break-in at Watergate)
  • Richard Milhous Nixon~ Look at the Justice Department its full of Jews...The lawyers in government are damn Jews.
  • Richard Milhous Nixon~ Once you get into this great stream of history you cant get out.
  • Richard Milhous Nixon~ Sure there are dishonest men in local government. But there are dishonest men in national government too.
  • Richard Milhous Nixon~ This is a burden I shall bear for every day of the life that is left to me.
  • Richard Milhous Nixon~ This is the greatest week in the history of the world since the Creation. (Saluting crew of the Apollo )
  • Richard Milhous Nixon~ Tonight-to you the great silent majority of my fellow Americans-I ask for your support. (On his Vietnam War policy)
  • Richard Needham~ It is the part of wisdom to keep your word and the part of folly to count on other people keeping theirs.
  • Richard Needham~ The man who is brutally honest enjoys the brutality quite as much as the honesty. Possibly more.
  • Richard Phillips Feynman~ If you thought that science was certain - well that is just an error on your part.
  • Richard Phillips Feynman~ The first principle is that you must not fool yourself - and you are the easiest person to fool.
  • Richard Pryor~ I believe in the institution of marriage and I intend to keep trying until I get it right.
  • Richard R. Grant~ The wisest person is not the one who has the fewest failures but the one who turns failures to best account.
  • Richard Royster~ Acceptance of dissent is the fundamental requirement of a free society.
  • Richard Whately~ Curiosity is as much the parent of attention as attention is of memory.
  • Richard Willard Armour~ He who cannot rest cannot work he who cannot let go cannot hold on he who cannot find footing cannot go forward.
  • Richard von Weizscker~ Seeking to forget makes exile all the longer the secret of redemption lies in remembrance.
  • Richard von Weizscker~ Whoever refuses to remember the inhumanity is prone to new risks of infection.
  • Richard's wretched ratchet wrench.
  • Rick Pitino~ When you build bridges you can keep crossing them.
  • Right actions for the future are the best apologies for wrong ones in the past. -Tyron Edwards
  • Right is its own defense. - Bertolt Brecht
  • Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before..
  • Ring Lardner~ Are you lost daddy I asked tenderly. Shut up he explained.
  • Ring Lardner~ Ive known what it is to be hungry but I always went right to a restaurant.
  • Rise above the storm and you will find the sunshine. -Mario Fernandez
  • Rita Mae Brown~ Creativity comes from trust. Trust your instincts.
  • Rita Mae Brown~ I finally figured out the only reason to be alive is to enjoy it.
  • Rita Mae Brown~ The reward for conformity was that everyone liked you except yourself.
  • Rita Rudner~ Before I met my husband Id never fallen in love though Id stepped in it a few times.
  • Rita Rudner~ I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight.
  • Rita Rudner~ I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.
  • Rita Rudner~ Most turkeys taste better the day after my mothers tasted better the day before.
  • Rita Rudner~ Neurotics build castles in the air psychotics live in them. My mother cleans them.
  • Roald Dahl~ We are the music makers and we are the dreamers of dreams.
  • Rob Brown~ If youre going to have it - have it all.
  • Robbie Gass~ Like an ability or a muscle hearing your inner wisdom is strengthened by doing it.
  • Robert A. Heinlein~ An armed society is a polite society. Manners are good when one may have to back up his acts with his life.
  • Robert A. Heinlein~ The supreme irony of life is that hardly anyone gets out of it alive.
  • Robert A. Heinlein~ There aint no such thing as a free lunch.
  • Robert Altman~ To play it safe is not to play.
  • Robert Anson Heinlein~ One mans religion is another mans belly laugh.
  • Robert Anson Heinlein~ Self awareness is NOT just a bunch of amino acids bumping together.
  • Robert Anson Heinlein~ The stars incline but do not impel.
  • Robert Anthony~ If you are not leaning no one will let you down.
  • Robert Anthony~ Some people drink from the fountain of knowledge others just gargle.
  • Robert Armstrong~ It a letter contains a misleading impression not a lie. It was being economical with the truth.
  • Robert Bakker~ I want to find a voracious small-minded predator and name it after the IRS.
  • Robert Benchley~ A boy can learn a lot from a dog obedience loyalty and the importance of turning around three times before lying down.
  • Robert Benchley~ As for me except for an occasional heart attack I feel as young as I ever did.
  • Robert Benchley~ Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people.
  • Robert Benchley~ Drawing on my fine command of the English language I said nothing.
  • Robert Benchley~ Drinking makes such fools of people and people are such fools to begin with that its compounding a felony.
  • Robert Brault~ I value the friend who for me finds time on his calendar but I cherish the friend who for me does not consult the calendar.
  • Robert Brault~ Today I bent the truth to be kind and I have no regret for I am far surer of what is kind than I am of what is true.
  • Robert Bringle~ Envy can be a positive motivator. Let it inspire you to work harder for what you want.
  • Robert Browning~ A minutes success pays the failure of years.
  • Robert Browning~ Ah but a mans reach should exceed his grasp - or whats a heaven for
  • Robert Browning~ Whats a mans age He must hurry more thats all Cram in a day what his youth took a year to hold.
  • Robert Burton~ A dwarf standing on the shoulders of a giant may see farther than a giant himself.
  • Robert Burton~ A good conscience is a continual feast.
  • Robert Burton~ Penny wise pound foolish.
  • Robert Byrne~ Everything is in a state of flux including the status quo.
  • Robert Byrne~ Until you walk a mile in another mans moccasins you cant imagine the smell.
  • Robert Collyer~ A mans best friends are his ten fingers.
  • Robert Francis Kennedy~ Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly.
  • Robert Francis Kennedy~ The American temptation is to believe that foreign policy is a subdivision of psychiatry.
  • Robert Francis Kennedy~ Whatever must happen ultimately should happen immediately.
  • Robert Francis Kennedy~ You cant make war in the Middle East without Egypt and you cant make peace without Syria.
  • Robert Fripp~ Music is the wine that fills the cup of silence.
  • Robert Frost~ A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back when it begins to rain.
  • Robert Frost~ A diplomat is a man who always remembers a womans birthday but never remembers her age.
  • Robert Frost~ A liberal is a man too broadminded to take his own side in a quarrel.
  • Robert Frost~ By working faithfully eight hours a day you may get to be a boss and work twelve hours a day.
  • Robert Frost~ Earths the right place for love. I dont know where its likely to go better.
  • Robert Frost~ I never dared to be radical when young For fear it would make me conservative when old.
  • Robert Frost~ Im against a homogenized society because I want the cream to rise.
  • Robert Frost~ The only way round is through.
  • Robert Frost~ The reason why worry kills more people than work is that more people worry than work.
  • Robert Frost~ The world is full of willing people some willing to work the rest willing to let them.
  • Robert Frost~ Theres nothing Im afraid of like scared people.
  • Robert Fulford~ I have seen the future and it doesnt work.
  • Robert G. Ingersoll~ Give to every other human being every right that you claim for yourself.
  • Robert G. Ingersoll~ There are in nature neither rewards nor punishments there are consequences.
  • Robert Green Ingersoll~ Hope deceitful as it is serves at least to lead us to the end of our lives by an agreeable route.
  • Robert Half~ There is something that is much more scarce something rarer than ability. It is the ability to recognize ability.
  • Robert Henri~ Cherish your own emotions and never undervalue them.
  • Robert Herrick~ Gather ye rosebuds while ye may Old Times is still a-flying And this same flower that smiles today Tomorrow will be dying.
  • Robert Hutchins~ There is only one justification for universities as distinguished from trade schools. They must be centers of criticism.
  • Robert J. Ringer~ Reality isnt the way you wish things to be nor the way they appear to be but the way they actually are.
  • Robert Joseph Bob Dole~ Well all be riding that streetcar of desire.
  • Robert L. Stanfield~ Theres only one me and Im stuck with him.
  • Robert Logan~ Failure is a path not a destination.
  • Robert Louis Stephenson~ A friend is a gift you give yourself.
  • Robert Louis Stephenson~ Sooner or later everyone sits down to a banquet of consequences.
  • Robert Louis Stephenson~ The cruelest lies are often told in silence.
  • Robert Louis Stephenson~ To be truly happy is a question of how we begin and not of how we end of what we want and not of what we have.
  • Robert M. Hamilton~ A book of quotations . . . can never be complete.
  • Robert Orben~ Most people would like to be delivered from temptation but would like it to keep in touch.
  • Robert Orben~ Quit worrying about your health. Itll go away.
  • Robert Pante~ If you look good and dress well you dont need a purpose in life.
  • Robert Redford~ If you stay in Beverly Hills too long you become a Mercedes.
  • Robert South~ Speech was given to the ordinary sort of men whereby to communicate their mind but to wise men whereby to conceal it.
  • Robert Staughton Lynd~ The telephone is the greatest nuisance among conveniences the greatest convenience among nuisances.
  • Robert Townsend~ Getting there isnt half the fun - its all the fun.
  • Robert W. Sarnoff~ Finance is the art of passing currency from hand to hand until it finally disappears.
  • Roberta ran rings around the Roman ruins.
  • Roberto Benigni~ Its a sign of mediocrity when you demonstrate gratitude with moderation.
  • Robertson Davies~ A happy childhood has spoiled many a promising life.
  • Robertson Davies~ Authors like cats because they are such quiet lovable wise creatures and cats like authors for the same reasons.
  • Robertson Davies~ The world is full of people whose notion of a satisfactory future is in fact a return to the idealised past.
  • Robert~ Learning to dislike children at an early age saves a lot of expense and aggravation later in life.
  • Robin Norwood~ Make your own recovery the first priority in your life.
  • Robin Williams~ The Russians love Brooke Shield because her eyebrows remind them of Leonid Brezhnev.
  • Robinson Jeffers~ The heads of strong old age are beautiful beyond all grace of youth.
  • Robot: I have to dry my feet carefully after a bath. Monster: Why? Robot: Otherwise I get rusty nails.
  • Rod Hughes~ I know of only one true failure never having tried to grow as a person. All else is simply happenstance.
  • Rod Serling~ It may be said with a degree of assurance that not everything that meets the eye is as it appears.
  • Rodan of Alexandria~ Only a brave person is willing to honestly admit and fearlessly to face what a sincere and logical mind discovers.
  • Rodney Dangerfield~ Life is just a bowl of pits.
  • Roger Baldwin~ So long as we have enough people in this country willing to fight for their rights well be called a democracy.
  • Roger Bannister~ What do we live for if not to make life less difficult for each other
  • Roger Lewin~ Too often we give our children answers to remember rather than problems to solve.
  • Roger Rosenblatt~ Children love to be alone because alone is where they know themselves and where they dream.
  • Roger Smith~ You dont just stumble into the future. You create your own future.
  • Roger Starr~ Money is the most egalitarian force in society. It confers power on whoever holds it.
  • Roger Zelazny~ I stalk my prison like my own ghost...
  • Roger Zelazny~ It is a pain in the ass waiting around for someone to try to kill you.
  • Roger Zelazny~ Life is full of doors that dont open when you knock equally spaced amid those that open when you dont want them to.
  • Roger Zelazny~ Some natural skepticism as to the purity of all human motives came and sat upon my chest...
  • Roger Zelazny~ When your bow is broken and your last arrow spent then shoot shoot with your whole heart.
  • Roland road in a Rolls Royce.
  • Rolfe Neill~ Reading transports me. I can go anywhere and never leave my chair. It lets me shake hands with new ideas.
  • Rolling red wagons
  • Roman Catholic and loving it!
  • Ron Nesen~ Nobody believes the official spokesman... but everybody trusts an unidentified source.
  • Ronald Reagan~ I favor the Civil Rights Act of and it must be enforced at gunpoint if necessary.
  • Ronald Reagan~ I have only one thing to say to the tax increasers. Go ahead-make my day.
  • Ronald Reagan~ I think the presidency is an institution over which you have temporary custody.
  • Ronald Reagan~ Ill be like Scarlett OHara-Ill think about it tomorrow.
  • Ronald Reagan~ Its difficult to see that people are starving in this country because food isnt available.()
  • Ronald Reagan~ Ive often wondered how some people in positions of this kind ... manage without having had any acting experience.
  • Ronald Reagan~ Nothing in life is so exhilarating as to be shot at without result. (Quoting Churchill)
  • Ronald Reagan~ Qaddafi counted on America to be passive. He counted wrong.
  • Ronald Reagan~ Some say it will bring war to the heavens but its purpose is to deter war in the heavens and on earth.
  • Ronald Reagan~ There are no great limits to growth because there are no limits of human intelligence imagination and wonder.
  • Ronald Reagan~ There were so many candidates on the platform that there were not enough promises to go around.
  • Ronald Reagan~ You can accomplish much if you dont care who gets the credit.
  • Ronnie Shakes~ After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said No hablo ingles.
  • Ronnie Shakes~ My doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope theyre in August.
  • Roosevelt Eleanor~ I could not at any age be content to take my place in a corner by the fireside and simply look on.
  • Roosevelt Eleanor~ It is better to light one small candle than to curse the darkness.
  • Roosevelt Eleanor~ Justice cannot be for one side alone but must be for both.
  • Roosevelt Eleanor~ The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.
  • Rosalyn S. Yalow~ The excitement of learning separates youth from old age. As long as youre learning youre not old.
  • Rose Cherin~ Heirlooms we dont have in our family. But stories weve got.
  • Rose Kennedy~ Birds sing after a storm why shouldnt people feel as free to delight in whatever sunlight remains to them
  • Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme This one doesn't.
  • Ross Hersey~ Look not back in anger nor forward in fear But around you in awareness.
  • Ross MacDonald~ Nothing is wrong with California that a rise in the ocean level wouldnt cure.
  • Roy Rogers~ Theyll have to shoot me first to take my gun.
  • Ru Paul~ Youre born naked the rest is drag.
  • Ruben Studdard~ You have to learn that if you start making sure you feel good everything will be okay.
  • Ruby Rugby's brother bought and brought her back some rubber baby-buggy bumpers.
  • Rudyard Kipling~ All we have of freedom - all we use or know - This our fathers bought for us long and long ago.
  • Rudyard Kipling~ Fill the unforgiving minute with sixty seconds worth of distance run.
  • Rudyard Kipling~ He wrapped himself in quotations- as a beggar would enfold himself in the purple of Emperors.
  • Rudyard Kipling~ I kep six honest serving-men (They taught me all I knew) Their names are What and Why and When And How and Where and Who.
  • Rudyard Kipling~ On the road to Mandalay Where the flyin fishes play An the dawn comes up like thunder outer China crost the bay.
  • Rudyard Kipling~ Theres no jealousy in the grave.
  • Rule your mind or it will rule you. -Horace
  • Rules without relationship equals rebellion.
  • Rune Leknes~ Beauty is not defined by the masses but by the opinion of the individual.
  • Rupert Brooke~ A kiss makes the heart young again and wipes out the years.
  • Rush Hour~ Carter Dont you ever touch a black mans radio boy You can do that in China but you can get your ass killed out here man.
  • Rush Limbaugh~ You know why theres a Second Amendment In case the government fails to follow the first one.
  • Russell Baker~ The goal of all inanimate objects is to resist man and ultimately defeat him.
  • Russell Green~ The advantage of a classical education is that it enables you to despise the wealth which it prevents you from achieving.
  • Russell Smith~ An Indian tribe is sovereign to the extent that the U.S. permits it to be sovereign.
  • Ruth Benedict~ The purpose of anthropology is to make the world safe for human differences.
  • Ruth Fulton Benedict~ Faith is the virtue of the storm just as happiness is the virtue of sunshine.
  • Ruth Stout~ Working in the garden...gives me a profound feeling of inner peace.
  • S Hayakawa~ Im going to speak my mind because I have nothing to loose.
  • S*x is like playing bridge: If you don't have a good partner, you better have a good hand.
  • S. Barry Lipkin~ Travel is educational it teaches you how to get rid of money in a hurry.
  • SEARS VIRUS: Your data won't appear unless you buy new cables, power supply, and a set of shocks.
  • SENILE.COM found . . . Out Of Memory . . .
  • SOW: Would you like a nice cake with three candles for your party? PIGLET: I'd rather have three cakes and one candle.
  • STEVE FORBES VIRUS: All files are reported as the same size.
  • STOP - Squeal tires on pavement.
  • SUV: Super Unpatriotic Vehicle.
  • Saadi~ Nothing is so good for an ignorant man as silence and if he was sensible of this he would not be ignorant.
  • Saadi~ Roam abroad in the world and take thy fill of its enjoyments before the day shall come when thou must quit it for good.
  • Saadi~ Whatever is produced in haste goes hastily to waste.
  • Saadi~ Whoever acquires knowledge but does not practice it is as one who ploughs but does not sow.
  • Sacha Guitry~ An ideal wife is one who remains faithful to you but tries to be just as charming as if she werent.
  • Sacha Guitry~ When a man steals your wife there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
  • Saddled with work (or some other burden).
  • Sado-masochism means not having to say you're sorry.
  • Safe sex is in the palm of your hand
  • Saint Ambrose~ When you are at Rome live in the Roman style when you are elsewhere live as they live elsewhere.
  • Saint Augustine~ Christ is not valued at all unless He is valued above all.
  • Saint Augustine~ Conscience and reputation are two things. Conscience is due to yourself reputation to your neighbour.
  • Saint Augustine~ Faith is to believe what you do not see the reward of this faith is to see what you believe.
  • Saint Augustine~ Give me chastity and continence but not yet.
  • Saint Augustine~ He who does not have the church as his mother does not have God as his Father.
  • Saint Augustine~ I was in love with loving.
  • Saint Augustine~ Patience is the companion of wisdom.
  • Saint Augustine~ The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page.
  • Saint Augustine~ Unless you believe you will not understand.
  • Saint Augustine~ Where your pleasure is there is your treasure where your treasure there your heart where your heart there your happiness.
  • Saint Francis Xavier~ Give me the children until they are seven and anyone may have them afterward.
  • Saint Francis de Sales~ Nothing is so powerful as gentleness nothing is so gentle as true strength.
  • Saint Francis de Sales~ There was never an angry man that thought his anger unjust.
  • Saint Francis of Assisi~ For it is in giving that we receive.
  • Saint Francis of Assisi~ Start by doing whats necessary then do whats possible and suddenly you are doing the impossible.
  • Saint Francis of Assisi~ Where there is hatred let me sow love. Where there is injury pardon. Where there is doubt faith.
  • Saint Jerome~ An unstable pilot steers a leaking ship and the blind is leading the blind straight to the pit. The ruler is like the ruled.
  • Saint Jerome~ It is worse still to be ignorant of your ignorance.
  • Saint Jerome~ No athlete is crowned but in the sweat of his brow.
  • Saint Jerome~ The face is the mirror of the mind and eyes without speaking confess the secrets of the heart.
  • Saint Jerome~ The friendship that can cease has never been real.
  • Saint Jerome~ The scars of others should teach us caution.
  • Saint Teresa of Avila~ Accustom yourself continually to make many acts of love for they enkindle and melt the soul.
  • Saint Thomas Aquinas~ Perfection of moral virtue does not wholly take away the passions but regulates them.
  • Saki~ A little inaccuracy sometimes saves tons of explanation.
  • Sallust~ A good man would prefer to be defeated than to defeat injustice by evil means.
  • Sallust~ The glory that goes with wealth is fleeting and fragile virtue is a possession glorious and eternal.
  • Sallust~ The renown which riches or beauty confer is fleeting and frail mental excellence is a splendid and lasting possession.
  • Sallust~ They envy the distinction I have won let them therefore envy my toils my honesty and the methods by which I gained it.
  • Sally Kempton~ It is hard to fight an enemy who has outposts in your head.
  • Salman Rushdie~ A book is a version of the world. If you do not like it ignore it or offer your own version in return.
  • Salvador Dali~ Have no fear of perfection - youll never reach it.
  • Salvador Dali~ Wars have never hurt anybody except the people who die.
  • Sam Levenson~ If you die in an elevator be sure to push the up button.
  • Sam Snead~ These greens are so fast I have to hold my putter over the ball and hit it with the shadow.
  • Sam left work after a tiring day. 'Take the bus home, ' suggested a friend. 'My mother would only make me take it back, ' Sam said.
  • Sam: Would you punish me for something I didn't do? Teacher: no, of course not. Sam: good, because I didn't do my homework.
  • Samual Rutherford~ Live on Christs love while ye are here and all the way.
  • Samual Rutherford~ The weightiest end of the cross of Christ that is laid upon you lieth upon your strong Savior.
  • Samuel Butler~ A hen is only an eggs way of making another egg.
  • Samuel Butler~ An apology for the devil it must be remembered that we have heard only one side of the case God has written all the books.
  • Samuel Butler~ Friendship is like money easier made than kept.
  • Samuel Butler~ Genius might be described as a supreme capacity for getting its possessors into trouble of all kinds.
  • Samuel Butler~ I consider being ill as one of the great pleasures of life provided one is not too ill.
  • Samuel Butler~ It has been said that the love of money is the root of all evil. The want of money is so quite as truly.
  • Samuel Butler~ Man is the only animal that laughs and has a state legislature.
  • Samuel Butler~ The best liar is he who makes the smallest amount of lying go the longest way.
  • Samuel Butler~ To do great work a man must be very idle as well as very industrious.
  • Samuel Butler~ To live is like love all reason is against it and all healthy instinct for it.
  • Samuel Cunningham~ Preparation is not the enemy of success but a dear friend. Be good to yourself and the favor will return.
  • Samuel Goldwyn~ A verbal contract isnt worth the paper its written on.
  • Samuel Goldwyn~ I never put on a pair of shoes until Ive worn them at least five years.
  • Samuel Goldwyn~ I read part of it all the way through.
  • Samuel Goldwyn~ If I could drop dead right now Id be the happiest man alive.
  • Samuel Goldwyn~ If I want your opinion Ill give it to you.
  • Samuel Goldwyn~ The harder I work the luckier I get.
  • Samuel Grafton~ A penny will hide the biggest star in the Universe if you hold it close enough to your eye.
  • Samuel Hazo~ Expect everything and anything seems nothing. Expect nothing and anything seems everything.
  • Samuel Johnson~ A cucumber whould be well sliced and dressed with pepper and viniger and then thrown out as good for nothing.
  • Samuel Johnson~ A man may be so much of everything that he is nothing of anything.
  • Samuel Johnson~ A man of genius has been seldom ruined but by himself.
  • Samuel Johnson~ A man ought to read just as inclination leads him for what he reads as a task will do him little good.
  • Samuel Johnson~ An intellectual improvement arises from leisure.
  • Samuel Johnson~ Classical quotation is the parole of literary men all over the world.
  • Samuel Johnson~ Curiosity is one of the permanent and certain characteristics of a vigorous mind.
  • Samuel Johnson~ Every man wishes to be wise and they who cannot be wise are almost always cunning.
  • Samuel Johnson~ I hate mankind for I think myself to be one of them and I know how bad I am.
  • Samuel Johnson~ I live in the crowds of jollity not so much to enjoy company as to shun myself.
  • Samuel Johnson~ If a man does not make new acquaintances as he advances through life he will soon find himself left alone.
  • Samuel Johnson~ If you are idle be not solitary if you are solitary be not idle.
  • Samuel Johnson~ It is better to live rich than to die rich.
  • Samuel Johnson~ It is better to suffer wrong than to do it and happier to be sometimes cheated than not to trust.
  • Samuel Johnson~ Language is only the instrument of science and words are but the signs of ideas.
  • Samuel Johnson~ Language is the dress of thought.
  • Samuel Johnson~ Learn that the present hour alone is mans.
  • Samuel Johnson~ Men are wise in proportion not to their experience but to their capacity for experience.
  • Samuel Johnson~ Our brightest blazes of gladness are commonly kindled by unexpected sparks.
  • Samuel Johnson~ Round numbers are always false.
  • Samuel Johnson~ That fellow seems to posses but one idea and that is the wrong one.
  • Samuel Johnson~ The road to Hell is paved with good intentions.
  • Samuel Johnson~ The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.
  • Samuel Johnson~ To hear complaints with patience even when complaints are vain is one of the duties of friendship.
  • Samuel Johnson~ We are inclined to believe those whom we do not know because they have never deceived us.
  • Samuel Johnson~ What we hope ever to do with ease we may learn first to do with diligence.
  • Samuel Johnson~ When a man knows he is to be hanged in a fortnight it concentrates his mind wonderfully.
  • Samuel Taliaferro Rayburn~ If you want to get along go along.
  • Samuel Taylor Coleridge~ Advice is like snow the softer it falls the longer it dwells upon and the deeper it sinks into the mind.
  • Samuel Taylor Coleridge~ Friendship is like a sheltering tree.
  • Samuel Taylor Coleridge~ Friendship often ends in love but love in friendship - never.
  • Samuel Taylor Coleridge~ I have seen gross intolerance shown in support of toleration.
  • Samuel Taylor Coleridge~ Poetry the best words in the best order.
  • Samuel Taylor Coleridge~ The wise only possess ideas the greater part of mankind are possessed by them.
  • Samuel Taylor Coleridge~ There is one art of which man should be master the art of reflection.
  • Samuel Taylor Coleridge~ What is an epigram A dwarfish whole its body brevity and wit its soul.
  • Sandy Farquhar~ We all grew up in spite of our parents. I trust our children will do likewise.
  • Sarah Ban Breathnach~ Always remember that striving and struggle precede success even in the dictionary.
  • Sarah Ban Breathnach~ Every time we remember to say thank you we experience nothing less than heaven on earth.
  • Sarah Ban Breathnach~ Learning to live in the present moment is part of the path of joy.
  • Sarah Knowles Bolton~ Be absolutely determined to enjoy what you do.
  • Sarcasm is just one more service I offer.
  • Saskya Pandita~ By depending on the great The small may rise high. See the little plant ascending the tall tree Has climbed to the top.
  • Satchel Paige~ Dont look back. Something might be gaining on you.
  • Satisfaction lies in the effort, not in the attainment. Full effort is full victory. -Mahatma Gandhi
  • Saul Bellow~ If women are expected to do the same work as men we must teach them the same things.
  • Saul Bellow~ The worst of all deceptions is self-deception.
  • Save a horse...ride a cowboy
  • Save the Dolphins. What did the cows do wrong?
  • Save the planet! Kill yourself!
  • Save the ugly animals too!
  • Save the whales! Collect the whole set.
  • Save the whales! Trade them for valuable prizes.
  • Save time ... see it my way.
  • Saville~ Women have more strengths in their looks than we have in our laws and more power in their tears than we have by our arguments.
  • Say what you mean, mean what you say, but don't say it mean.
  • Say what you will about the Ten Commandments, you must always come back to the pleasant fact that there are only ten of them. -H L Mencken
  • Saying nothing... sometimes says the most. -Emily Dickinson
  • Saying remain meaningless until they are embodied in actions. (Kahlil Gibran)
  • Sbastien-Roch Nicolas de Chamfort~ All that Ive learned Ive forgotten. The little I still know Ive guessed.
  • Sbastien-Roch Nicolas de Chamfort~ Most of todays books have an air of having been written in one day from books read the night before.
  • Sbastien-Roch Nicolas de Chamfort~ The most wasted day of all is that on which we have not laughed.
  • Scarface~ Tony Montana Me I want whats coming to me. Manny Oh well whats coming to you Tony Montana The world Chico and everything in it.
  • Scarlett OHara~ Tomorrow Ill think of some way . . . after all tomorrow is another day.
  • Scheduled Release Date: A carefully calculated date determined by estimating the actual shipping date and subtracting six months from it.
  • School Meals by R. E. Volting
  • Science belongs to no one country. -Louis Pasteur
  • Science is simply common sense at its best - that is, rigidly accurate in observation, and merciless to fallacy in logic. - Thomas Huxley
  • Science is simply common sense at its best, that is, rigidly accurate in observation, and merciless to fallacy in logic. - Thomas H. Huxley
  • Science is what you know, philosophy is what you don't know. - Bertrand Russell
  • Science teacher: What happened when electricity was first discovered? Fred: Someone got a nasty shock.
  • Scobe's Fifth Law: All dealers wish they were doing something other than dealing. All dealers have plans to get out of dealing.
  • Scobe's First Law: Whenever the count gets really high and you have your biggest bet out, some moron will sit down and win.
  • Scobe's Fourth Law: The smoke in the casino always drifts towards the non-smoker, regardless of which way the air conditioner is blowing.
  • Scobe's Tenth Law: In all endeavors, in all aspects of life, there are more horses' asses than horses! - Frank Scoblete
  • Scott Adams~ Engineers like to solve problems. If there are no problems handily available they will create their own problems.
  • Scott Adams~ No matter how smart you are you spend much of your day being an idiot.
  • Scott Adams~ The creator of the universe works in mysterious ways. But he uses a base ten counting system and likes round numbers.
  • Scott Reed~ This one step - choosing a goal and sticking to it - changes everything.
  • Screwed up as Hogan's Goat.
  • Seami Motokiyo~ Life is a lying dream he only wake Who casts the World aside.
  • Seasons Greetingsby Mary Christmas
  • Sebastian Brant~ The world loves to be deceived.
  • Sebastian R. N. Chamfort~ The most wasted day of all is that during which we have not laughed.
  • Secrets are secret.
  • See, you not only have to be a good coder to create a system like Linux, you have to be a sneaky bastard too. - Linus Torvalds
  • Seeing is believing, but the feeling is the truth. -Thomas Fuller
  • Seen on the back of a biker's vest: If you can read this, my wife fell off.
  • Seen on the back of a biker's vest:If you can read this, my wife fell off.
  • Seize the day, put no trust in tomorrow. -Horace
  • Seldom does an individual exceed his own expectations. -Unknown
  • Self discipline is when your conscience tells you to do something and you don't talk back. - W. K. Hope
  • Self pity is an acid which eats holes in happiness. -Earl Nightingale
  • Self pity is our worst enemy and if we yield to it, we can never do anything wise in the world. -Helen Keller
  • Self, self, self, self, self. -- The Cat
  • Self-confidence is the first requisite to great undertakings. -Samuel Johnson
  • Self-education is, I firmly believe, the only kind of education there is. -Isaac Asimov
  • Self-trust is the essence of heroism.
  • Self-trust is the first secret of success.
  • Self-will so ardent and active that it will break a world to pieces to make a stool to sit on. -Richard Cecil
  • Selflessness is the highest achievement
  • Senator William Grayson~ Last Monday a string of amendments were presented to the lower House these altogether respect personal liberty...
  • Seneca~ As long as you live keep learning how to live.
  • Seneca~ As was his language so was his life.
  • Seneca~ Brother the Great Spirit has made us all. . . . .
  • Seneca~ Delay not swift the flight of fortunes greatest favours.
  • Seneca~ Difficulties strengthen the mind as labour the body.
  • Seneca~ Enjoy present pleasures in such a way as not to injure future one.
  • Seneca~ Fire is the test of gold adversity of strong men.
  • Seneca~ I do not distinguish by the eye but by the mind which is the proper judge.
  • Seneca~ If one does not know to which port one is sailing no wind is favorable.
  • Seneca~ If virtue precede us every step will be safe.
  • Seneca~ It is a great thing to know the season for speech and the season for silence.
  • Seneca~ It is a youthful failing to be unable to control ones impulses.
  • Seneca~ It is not the man who has too little but the man who craves more that is poor.
  • Seneca~ It is rash to condemn where you are ignorant.
  • Seneca~ It is the sign of a week mind to be unable to bear wealth.
  • Seneca~ Latin A sword never kills anybody it is a tool in the killers hand.
  • Seneca~ Let him that would move the world first move himself.
  • Seneca~ Life without the courage for death is slavery.
  • Seneca~ Many things have fallen only to rise higher.
  • Seneca~ No one can wear a mask for very long.
  • Seneca~ One hand washes the other.
  • Seneca~ One should count each day a separate life.
  • Seneca~ Quemadmodum gladius neminem occidit occidentis telum est.
  • Seneca~ Speech is the mirror of the mind.
  • Seneca~ The arts are the servant wisdom its master.
  • Seneca~ The first step towards amendment is the recognition of error.
  • Seneca~ The most onerous slavery is to be a slave to oneself.
  • Seneca~ This is the reason we cannot complain of lifeit keeps no one against his wll.
  • Seneca~ To be always fortunate and to pass through life with a soul that has never known sorrow is to be ignorant of one half of nature.
  • Seneca~ What difference does it make how much you have What you do not have amounts to much more.
  • Seneca~ Where reason fails time oft has worked a cure.
  • September 12: Sell your SUV day!
  • Serial Killer.
  • Serve Locally - Pray Globally
  • Set your goals high, and don't stop till you get there. -Bo Jackson
  • Setting a goal is not the main thing. It is deciding how you will go about achieving it and staying with that plan. -Tom Landry
  • Setting an example is not the main means of influencing others; it is the only means. -Albert Einstein
  • Seven days without prayer makes one weak!
  • Seven days without prayer makes one weak.
  • Seven sleazy shysters in sharkskin suits sold sheared sealskins to seasick sailors.
  • Sex between a man and a woman can be wonderful, provided you get between the right man and the right woman.
  • Sex is like nose picking. It's fine as long as you practice it yourself, but it's disgusting watching someone else doing it. (Roald Dahl)
  • Sex is the question, no is the answer.
  • Sexist sixties.
  • Sextus Propertius~ Absence makes the heart grow fonder.
  • Shake your a** for Jesus!
  • Shakti Gawain~ An affirmation is a strong positive statement that somthing is already so.
  • Shall I tell you the joke about the bed? No, because it hasn't been made up yet.
  • Shallow men believe in luck. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
  • Shallow men believe in luck. Strong men believe in cause and effect.
  • Shallow men believe in luck. Strong men believe in cause and effect. -Ralph Waldo Emerson
  • Shantideva~ If you can solve your problem then what is the need of worrying If you cannot solve it then what is the use of worrying
  • Shared suffering brings people together faster than anything else does.
  • Sharon Salzberg~ We learn and grow and are transformed not so much by what we do but by why and how we do it.
  • Sharon: I'm so homesick. Sheila: But this is your home! Sharon: I know and I'm sick of it.
  • Sharp as a wet corn flake.
  • She changes everything she touches!
  • She got to go to heaven four days early. -President Bill Clinton
  • She is an expert housekeeper: every time she gets divorced, she keeps the house.
  • She sees cheese.
  • She sees seas slapping shores.
  • She sells Swiss sweets.
  • She sifted thistles through her thistle-sifter.
  • She's quite a ONE !
  • She's so stupid she thinks a shoplifter is a very strong person who goes round picking up shops.
  • She's so ugly that when a wasp stings her it shuts its eyes.
  • She/he would a rock pile if she thought there was a snake in it.
  • Sheila Graham~ Food is the most primitive form of comfort.
  • Sheldon Kopp~ In the long run we get no more than we have been willing to risk giving.
  • Shell to DOS...Come in DOS, do you copy? Shell to DOS...
  • Sherlock Holmes~ When you have eliminated the impossible whatever remains however improbable must be the truth.
  • Shimon Peres~ He restored the Bible to its people he restored the people to the Bible.
  • Shipwrecked! by Mandy Lifeboats
  • Shirley MacLaine~ Dwelling on the negative simply contributes to its power.
  • Shirley Mount Hufstedler~ If you play it safe in life youve decided that you dont want to grow any more.
  • Shoe section, shoe section, shoe section, ...
  • Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you will land amongst the stars. -Les Brown
  • Shooter's eye (basketball cliche).
  • Shooter's touch (basketball cliche).
  • Show class, have pride and display character. If you do, winning takes care of itself. -Paul Bryant
  • Show me a man who cannot bother to do little things, and I'll show you a man who cannot be trusted to do big things. (Bill Cosby)
  • Show me a man with both feet on the ground, and I'll show you a man who can't put on his pants.
  • Show me a thoroughly satisfied man and I will show you a failure. -Thomas Alva Edison
  • Show me the leader and I will know his men. Show me the men and I will know their leader. -Arthur W. Newcomb
  • Shut the door. Were you born in a barn?
  • Shutting down networkservers reguarly during worktime prevents RSI and develops social contacts at work.
  • Siamese coat color and crossed eyes may be caused by the same gene.
  • Sid Ceaser~ A great NOW will be a great WAS A bad NOW will always be a bad WAS and all you can hope for is a Great GONNA BE
  • Sidney Goff~ A good time to keep your mouth shut is when youre in deep water.
  • Sidonie Gabrielle Colette~ A woman who thinks she is intelligent demands the same rights as man. An intelligent woman gives up.
  • Sidonie Gabrielle Colette~ Writing only leads to more writing.
  • Sigmund Freud~ Anatomy is destiny.
  • Sigmund Freud~ Everywhere I go I find a poet has been there before me.
  • Sigmund Freud~ From error to error one discovers the entire truth.
  • Sigmund Freud~ One is very crazy when in love.
  • Sigmund Freud~ Religion is an illusion and it derives its strength from the fact that it falls in with our instinctual desires.
  • Sigmund Freud~ We are never so defensless against suffering as when we love.
  • Sigmund Freud~ Whoever loves becomes humble. Those who love have so to speak pawned a part of their narcissism.
  • Sign of a Loser: He worked two years on his boss's signature, then the perfectly forget check came back, marked 'Insufficient Funds'.
  • Sign of a Loser: If he went into the men's pants business, men would start wearing kilts.
  • Sign of a Loser: She has delusions of adequacy.
  • Sign of a Loser: She's had bad luck with two husbands, The first on left her, and the second one won't.
  • Sign on restaurant window: Great food (50,000 flies can't be wrong)
  • Sign seen in a bar: Those drinking to forget please pay in advance.
  • Silence is Golden by Xavier Brethe
  • Silence is as full of potential wisdom and wit as the unhewn marble of a great sculpture. - Tom Lehrer
  • Silence is one of the hardest arguments to refute. - Josh Billings
  • Silius Italicus~ Virtue herself is her own fairest reward.
  • Silly sheep weep and sleep.
  • Silver's law: If Murphy's law can go wrong it will.
  • Simeon Strunsky~ Famous remarks are very seldom quoted correctly.
  • Simeon Strunsky~ If you want to understand democracy spend less time in the library with Plato and more time in the buses with people.
  • Simon Cameron~ An honest politician is one who when he is bought will stay bought.
  • Simondes of Ceos~ The city is the teacher of the man.
  • Simone Weil~ Evil when we are in its power is not felt as evil but as a necessity or even a duty.
  • Simone Weil~ The love of our neighbor in all its fullness simply means being able to say What are you going through
  • Simone de Beauvoir~ In the face of an obstacle which is impossible to overcome stubbornness is stupid.
  • Simone de Beauvoir~ To make oneself an object to make oneself passive is a very different thing from being a passive object.
  • Simonides~ Not even the gods fight against necessity.
  • Simonides~ Painting is silent poetry and poetry is painting with the gift of speech.
  • Since I have smashed my denominational glasses, I have a better vision of who Christ is.
  • Sincerity and truth are the basis of every virtue. -Confucius
  • Sing "God Will Take Care of Me" at 55 mph....
  • Sing "Nearer My God to Thee" at 75 mph....
  • Sing "This World is Not My Home" at 95 mph....
  • Sink a shot ( basketball cliche ).
  • Sir Arthur Eddington~ The mathematics is not there till we put it there.
  • Sir Arthur Eddington~ We are bits of stellar matter that got cold by accident bits of a star gone wrong.
  • Sir Arthur Helps~ Reading is sometimes an ingenious device for avoiding thought.
  • Sir Arthur Helps~ Routine is not organization any more than paralysis is order.
  • Sir Arthur Keith~ The course of human history is determined not by what happens in the skies but what takes place in our hearts.
  • Sir Barnett Cocks~ A committee is a cul-de-sac down which ideas are lured and then quietly strangled.
  • Sir Frederick G. Banting~ No one has ever had an idea in a dress suit.
  • Sir Harold George Nicolson~ We are all inclined to judge ourselves by our ideals others by their acts.
  • Sir Harry MacLennan Lauder~ Keep right on to the end of the road.
  • Sir John Harington~ Books give not wisdome where none was before But where some is there reading makes it more.
  • Sir Laurence Olivier~ Acting is a masochistic form of exhibitionism. It is not quite the occupation of an adult.
  • Sir Philip Sidney~ They are never alone that are accompanied with noble thoughts.
  • Sir Ralph Richardson~ Acting is merely the art of keeping a large group of people from coughing.
  • Sir Richard Francis Burton~ Broke is a temporary condition poor is a state of mind.
  • Sir Richard Steele~ Reading is to the mind what exercise is to the body.
  • Sir Thomas Browne~ Be substantially great in thyself and more than thou appearest unto others.
  • Sir Thomas More~ Friendship demands attention.
  • Sir Thomas More~ Rules only make sense if they are both kept and broken. Breaking the rule is one way of observing it.
  • Sir Thomas More~ Whoever loveth me loveth my hound.
  • Sir Walter Besant~ He knows nothing and he thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.
  • Sir Walter Besant~ If you must hold yourself up to your children hold yourself up as an object lesson and not as an example.
  • Sir Walter Besant~ The man who listens to Reason is lost reason enslaves all whose minds are not strong enough to master her.
  • Sir Walter Scott~ And come he slow or come he fast It is but death who comes at last.
  • Sir Walter Scott~ Look back and smile on perils past.
  • Sir Walter Scott~ Oh what a tangled web we weave When first we practice to deceive
  • Sir Walter Scott~ To all to each a fair good night And pleasing dreams and slumbers light.
  • Sir Wilfred Grenfell~ The service we render others is the rent we pay for our room on earth.
  • Sir William Bragg~ The important thing in science is not so much to obtain new facts as to discover new ways of thinking about them.
  • Sir William Drummond~ He who will not reason is a bigot he who cannot is a fool and he who dares not is a slave.
  • Sir Winston Churchill~ Dictators ride to and fro upon tigers which they dare not dismount. And the tigers are getting hungry.
  • Sir Winston Churchill~ From Stettin in the Baltic to Trieste in the Adriatic an iron curtain has descended across the Continent.
  • Sir Winston Churchill~ History will be kind to me for I intend to write it.
  • Sir Winston Churchill~ I am certainly not one of those who need to be prodded. In fact if anything I am the prod.
  • Sir Winston Churchill~ It is a good thing for an uneducated man to read books of quotations.
  • Sir Winston Churchill~ It is no use saying We are doing our best. You have got to succeed in doing what is necessary.
  • Sir Winston Churchill~ Never in the field of human conflict was so much owed by so many to so few.
  • Sir Winston Churchill~ We shall show mercy but we shall not ask for it.
  • Sir Winston Leonard Spenser Churchill~ A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.
  • Sir Winston Leonard Spenser Churchill~ Everyone has his day and some days last longer than others.
  • Sir Winston Leonard Spenser Churchill~ Fanatic. One who cant change his mind and wont change the subject.
  • Sir Winston Leonard Spenser Churchill~ For myself I am an optimist - it does not seem to be much use being anything else.
  • Sir Winston Leonard Spenser Churchill~ From now on ending a sentence with a preposition is something up with which I will not put.
  • Sir Winston Leonard Spenser Churchill~ He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.
  • Sir Winston Leonard Spenser Churchill~ History will be kind to me for I intend to write it.
  • Sir Winston Leonard Spenser Churchill~ Mr Attlee is a very modest man. Indeed he has a lot to be modest about.
  • Sir Winston Leonard Spenser Churchill~ Nothing in life is so exhilarating as to be shot at without result.
  • Sir Winston Leonard Spenser Churchill~ The maxim of the British people is Business as Usual.
  • Sir Winston Leonard Spenser Churchill~ The price of greatness is responsibility.
  • Sir, I say that justice is truth in action. -Benjamin Disraeli
  • Sister Mary Lauretta~ To be successful the first thing to do is to fall in love with your work.
  • Sister Mary Rose McGeady~ There is no greater joy nor greater reward than to make a fundamental difference in someones life.
  • Sister: Why are you putting the saddle on backward? Brother: How do you know which way I'm going?
  • Sitting in the cat bird seat - Being in an advantageous position
  • Six of one, half a dozen of the other.
  • Six sharp smart sharks.
  • Six shining cities, six shining cities, six shining cities.
  • Six sick sheep.
  • Six sticky sucker sticks.
  • Six-toed kittens are so common in Boston and surrounding areas of Massachusetts that experts consider it an established mutation.
  • Skills are cheap; chemistry is expensive. -Mal Pancoast
  • Slight not what's near, while aiming at what's far. (Euripides 480-406 B.C.)
  • Sloan Wilson~ The definition of a beautiful woman is one who loves me.
  • Small Horse - Tai Ni Po Ni
  • Small girl: I'd buy that dog, but his legs are too short! Clerk: Too short? Why, all four of them touch the floor.
  • Small opportunities are often the beginning of great enterprises. -Demosthenes
  • Smash forehead on keyboard to continue.....
  • Smile and the world audits your taxes.
  • Smile is contagious; just smile at someone and see their reaction.
  • Smile when it hurts most. - D.a. Chapple
  • Smile, Cthulhu Loathes You!
  • Smile.... it makes others wonder what you're thinking.
  • Smiley Blanton~ A sense of curiosity is natures original school of education.
  • Smuck Fog!
  • Snowflakes are one of natures most fragile things, but just look what they can do when they stick together. (Vista M. Kelly)
  • Snowmobiles: Natural selection at its finest.
  • So far, so good.
  • So glad to meet you said the Hindu politely? Charmed I'm sure , replied the snake!
  • So let it be written--so let it be done.
  • So let it be written; so let it be done.
  • So many cats. So few recipes.
  • So many idiots - so few comets.
  • So many men, so few who can afford me!
  • So many pedestrians. So little time!
  • So you are distantly related to the family next door, are you? Yes- their dog is our dog's brother.
  • So you're a feminist... Isn't THAT precious?
  • Social advance depends as much upon the process through which it is secured as upon the result itself. -Jane Addams
  • Socrates~ By all means marry if you get a good wife youll be happy. If you get a bad one youll become a philosopher.
  • Socrates~ Children today are tyrants. They contradict their parents gobble their food and tyrannize their teachers.
  • Socrates~ Having the fewest wants I am nearest to the gods.
  • Socrates~ I cannot teach anybody anything I can only make them think.
  • Socrates~ I know that I am intelligent because I know that I know nothing.
  • Socrates~ My advice to you is get married if you find a good wife youll be happy if not youll become a philosopher.
  • Socrates~ Thou shouldst eat to live not live to eat.
  • Socrates~ Virtue does not come from wealth but. . . wealth and every other good thing which men have. . . comes from virtue.
  • Socrates~ Wisdom begins in wonder.
  • Solomon Ibn Gabirol~ A wise mans question contains half the answer.
  • Solomon Ibn Gabirol~ As long as a word remains unspoken you are its master once you utter it you are its slave.
  • Solomon Short~ Im all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Lets start with typewriters.
  • Solomon Short~ The only winner in the War of was Tchaikovsky
  • Solon~ Put more trust in nobility of character than in an oath.
  • Solving the Mystery by Ivor Clew
  • Some animals are secretive; some are shy. A cat is private. - Leonard Michaels
  • Some books have table of contents; others have no contents. (Melchor F. Cichon)
  • Some call it stalking, I call it love.
  • Some cats will growl, meow, scratch, or bite the hand holding catnip.
  • Some days, the most interesting thing on the TV is a sleeping cat!
  • Some desire is necessary to keep life in motion. -Samuel Johnson
  • Some fear the dark; I embrace it. It is the only place where my eyes are blind, and my soul wanders freely from the truth of reality. - Laura
  • Some folk want their luck buttered. -Thomas Hardy
  • Some gifts are big, others are small. Gifts from the heart are the best gifts of all. -Unknown Author
  • Some have been thought brave because they were afraid to run away. -Thomas Fuller
  • Some hoomans cope with the problem by taking prescription allergy medicine, along with bathing their cats frequently.
  • Some minds are like concrete... all mixed up and permanently set.
  • Some notable people who disliked cats: Napoleon Bonaparte, Dwight D. Eisenhower, Hitler.
  • Some of the world's greatest feats were accomplished by people not smart enough to know they were impossible. (Doug Larson)
  • Some open minds should be closed for repairs.
  • Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.
  • Some people change when they see the light, others when they feel the heat. (Caroline Schoeder)
  • Some people complain because the roses have thorns. Others give thanks because the thorns have roses.
  • Some people grin and bear it; others smile and do it. -Anonymous
  • Some people grow under responsibility, others merely swell. -Hubbell
  • Some people hate waking up and getting out of bed. I enjoy it. I do it three or four times a day.
  • Some people just don't take advice, they have to hit their own head off the wall to believe it will hurt!!
  • Some people not only expect opportunity to knock, they expect it to beat down the door. -Author unknown
  • Some people own cats and actually go on to lead normal lives .....
  • Some people say that cats are sneaky, evil and cruel. True, and they have other fine qualities as well.
  • Some people think holding on makes them strong, sometimes its letting go.
  • Some people weave burlap into the fabric of our lives, and some weave gold thread. Both contribute to make the whole picture beautiful and unique
  • Some push the envelope, some just lick it, and some can't find the flap!
  • Some things that cost $5 to buy several years ago now costs $10 just to repair.
  • Someday we'll look back on all this and plow into a parked car.
  • Someone bought Scrooge a clock for Christmas. He put it straight in the bank. Why did he do that? He was trying to save time!
  • Someone who thinks logically is a nice contrast to the real world.
  • Someone's opinion of you does not have to become your reality. -Les Brown
  • Sometimes I know that there is intelligent life on other planets because they haven't tried to contact us.
  • Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, "Where have I gone wrong?" Then a voice says to me, "This is going to take more than one night.".
  • Sometimes I think people are the sperm of the devil.
  • Sometimes in our confusion, we see not the world as it is, but the world though eyes blurred by the mind. - Unknown
  • Sometimes only a change of viewpoint is needed to convert a tiresome duty into an interesting opportunity. -Alberta Flanders
  • Sometimes the answer to prayer is not that it changes life, but that it changes you. -James Dillet Freeman
  • Sometimes the best helping hand you can give is a good, firm push.
  • Sometimes the heart sees what is invisible to the eye. -H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
  • Sometimes the majority only means that all the fools are on the same side.
  • Sometimes the poorest man leaves his children the richest inheritance. -Ruth E Renkel
  • Sometimes we all have days where we are 386's in a P4 world.
  • Sometimes you're the bug and sometimes you're the windshield.
  • Sometimes you're the dog and sometimes you're the hydrant.
  • Son: Where are the Himalayas? Father: If you'd put things away, you'd know where to find them.
  • Sonny Bono~ Dont cling to fame. Youre just borrowing it. Its like money. Youre going to die and somebody else is going to get it.
  • Sooner or later, those who win are those who think they can. -Richard Bach
  • Sophocles~ A prudent mind can see room for misgiving lest he who prospers would one day suffer reverse.
  • Sophocles~ Death is not the worst thing rather when one who craves death cannot attain even that wish.
  • Sophocles~ Grief teaches the steadiest minds to waver.
  • Sophocles~ It made our hair stand up in panic fear.
  • Sophocles~ Look and you will find it - what is unsought will go undetected.
  • Sophocles~ Money Theres nothing in the world so demoralizing as money.
  • Sophocles~ Nobody likes the man who brings bad news.
  • Sophocles~ Of all human ills greatest is fortunes wayward tyranny.
  • Sophocles~ Rather fail with honor than succeed by fraud.
  • Sophocles~ Reason is Gods crowning gift to man.
  • Sophocles~ The good befriend themselves.
  • Sophocles~ The keenest sorrow is to recognize ourselves as the sole cause of all our adversities.
  • Sophocles~ There is no sense in crying over spilt milk.
  • Sophocles~ Though a man be wise it is no shame for him to live and learn.
  • Sophocles~ To know that all is well even if late will come to know it is at least some gain.
  • Sorrow looks back, worry looks around, faith looks up.
  • Sorry I missed church, I was busy practicing witchcraft
  • Soul meets soul on lovers lips. - Dinah Shore
  • Soul-winning and missions is the life blood of the church.
  • Source: None
  • Spaying a female before her first or second heat will greatly reduce the threat of mammary cancer and uterine disease.
  • Speak clearly, if you speak at all; carve every word before you let it fall. -Oliver Wendell Holmes
  • Speak to the Earth and it shall teach thee -- Job 12:8 King James Bible
  • Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret. - Ambrose Bierce
  • Spectacular achievements are always preceded by unspectacular preparation. -Roger Staubach
  • Sped up my XT; ran it on 220v! Works greO?_|. - Anonymous
  • Speed kills. Drive a Chevy and live forever!
  • Spell mousetrap with three letters. C-A-T
  • Spike Milligan~ Money cant buy friends but it can get you a better class of enemy.
  • Spiritual people inspire me - Religious people frighten me.
  • Sports are 90% inspiration and 10% perspiration. -Johnny Miller
  • Sren Kierkegaard~ Take away paradox from the thinker and you have a professor.
  • Sri da Avabhas~ All doubt despair and fear become insignificant once the intention of life becomes love rather than dependence on love.
  • Stacia Tauscher~ We worry about what a child will be tomorrow yet we forget that he is someone today.
  • Stagecoach stops.
  • Stan Aogartem~ ... information can be treated like any other quantity and be subjected to the manipulation of a machine.
  • Stand up and salute the red, white, and blue.
  • Standing in the middle of the road is very dangerous; you get knocked down by traffic from both sides. (Margaret Thatcher)
  • Stanislaus Lescynski~ To believe with certainty we must begin with doubting.
  • Stanislaw Lec~ People find life entirely too time-consuming.
  • Stanislaw Lec~ The first condition of immortality is death.
  • Stanislaw Lec~ When you jump for joy beware that no one moves the ground from beneath your feet.
  • Stanley Marcus~ Consumers are statistics. Customers are people.
  • Steffen Francisco~ If you feel yourself falling let go and glide.
  • Stephen Ambrose~ The past is a source of knowledge and the future is a source of hope. Love of the past implies faith in the future.
  • Stephen Covey~ Doing more things faster is no substitute for doing the right things.
  • Stephen Covey~ Effective leadership is putting first things first. Effective management is discipline carrying it out.
  • Stephen Covey~ The main thing is to keep the main thing the main thing.
  • Stephen Jay Gould~ The most erroneous stories are those we think we know best - and therefore never scrutinize or question.
  • Stephen Nachmanovitch~ The most potent muse of all is our own inner child.
  • Stephen Nachmanovitch~ The noun of self becomes a verb. This flashpoint of creation in the present moment is where work and play merge.
  • Stephen S. Wise~ Vision looks inward and becomes duty.Vision looks outward and becomes aspiration.Vision looks upward and becomes faith.
  • Stephen Spender~ History is the ship carrying living memories to the future.
  • Stephen Vincent Benet~ Honesty rare as a man without self-pity kinders as large and plain as a prairie wind.
  • Stephen~ Music is expression of harmony in sound. Love is the expression of harmony in life.
  • Sterilise: what you do to your first baby's pacifier by boiling it and to your last baby's pacifier by blowing on it.
  • Steve Droke~ Knowledge is power and enthusiasm pulls the switch.
  • Steve Goodman~ People dont understand the virtue of time until their clock stops ticking.
  • Steve Martin~ I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks.
  • Steve Prefontaine~ To give anything less than your best is to give away the gift.
  • Steve Wozniak~ Never trust a computer you cant throw out a window.
  • Steven Wright~ Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.
  • Steven Wright~ I have an existential map. It has You are here written all over it.
  • Steven Wright~ I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldnt park anywhere near the place.
  • Steven Wright~ I went to a store and asked if they had anything to put under coasters.
  • Steven Wright~ It doesnt make a difference what temperature a room is its always room temperature.
  • Steven Wright~ My theory of evolution is that Darwin was adopted.
  • Steven Wright~ Theres a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.
  • Stewardesses is the longest word that can be typed with only the left hand.
  • Stewart Brand~ Once a new technology rolls over you if yourre not part of the steamroller youre part of the road.
  • Stick a fork in him, he's done.
  • Still your mind in me, still yourself in me, and without a doubt you shall be united with me, Lord of Love, dwelling in your heart. - Bhagavad Gita
  • Stop reading this bumper sticker and watch the road!!!
  • Stop repeat offenders. Don't re-elect them!
  • Stop worrying about the potholes in the road and celebrate the journey! -Barbara Hoffman
  • Stray Cats allowed inside will not be permitted to jump up on or sharpen their claws on the furniture.
  • Stray Cats that have their babies on our best evening gown will have to live with that on their conscience forever.
  • Stray Cats will not be allowed inside the house except on days ending in y.
  • Stray Cats will not be allowed to sleep in our bed under the covers except at the foot.
  • Stray Cats will not be allowed to sleep in our bed, except at the foot.
  • Stray Cats will not be fed anything except dry cat food moistened with a little milk in a spare margarine container.
  • Stray Cats will not play on the desk.
  • Stray Cats will sleep in a cardboard box lined with an old blanket in a corner of the bedroom.
  • Stray Cats with or without a name will not be allowed inside the house at any time.
  • Strength lies in differences, not in similarities. -Stephen Covey
  • Stress is when you wake up screaming & you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.
  • Strive for integrity - that means knowing your values in life and behaving in a way that is consistent with these values. -Unknown Author
  • Strong and bitter words indicate a weak cause. - Victor Hugo
  • Strong expressions create deep impressions.
  • Stubbornness does have its helpful features. You always know what you're going to be thinking tomorrow. - Glen Beaman
  • Studies show that the allergen in cats is related to their scent glands. Cats have scent glands on their faces / at the base of their tails.
  • Studying literature at Harvard is like learning about women at the Mayo clinic. - Roy Jr. Blount
  • Stupidity is NOT a handicap! PARK ELSEWHERE!
  • Style is the image of character. - Edward Gibbon
  • Success as I see it, is a result, not a goal.
  • Success does not come to those who wait... and it does not wait for anyone to come to it. -Unknown Author
  • Success doesn't make you and failure doesn't break you. -Zig Ziglar
  • Success has a simple formula: do your best, and people may like it.
  • Success is a journey not a destination.
  • Success is a matter of adjusting one's efforts to obstacles and one's abilities to a service needed by others. -Henry Ford
  • Success is always temporary. When all is said and done, the only thing you'll have left is your character.
  • Success is always temporary. When all is said and done, the only thing you'll have left is your character. -Vince Gill
  • Success is always temporary. When all is said and one, the only thing you'll have left is your character. - Vince Gill
  • Success is counted sweetest by those who never succeed. -Emily Dickinson
  • Success is focusing the full power of all you are on what you have a burning desire to achieve. -Wilfred A. Peterson
  • Success is never certain. Failure is never final. -Robert Schuller
  • Success is never ending: failure is never final.
  • Success is never final and failure never fatal. It's courage that counts. -Jules Ellinger
  • Success is never permanent, and failure is never final. -Mike Ditka
  • Success is not access to excess. -Unknown Author
  • Success is not measured by what you do compared to what others do, it is measured by what you do with the ability God gave you.
  • Success is not measured in achievement of goals, but in the stress and strain of meeting those goals.
  • Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful.
  • Success is not the result of spontaneous combustion. You must set yourself on fire. -Reggie Leach
  • Success is simply a matter of luck. Ask any failure.
  • Success is simply a matter of luck. Ask any failure. -Earl Nightingale
  • Success is that old ABC - ability, breaks and courage. -Charles Luckman
  • Success is the progressive realization of predetermined, worthwhile goals. -Paul J. Meyer
  • Success isn't a result of spontaneous combustion. You must set yourself on fire. -Arnold H. Glasgow
  • Success of today resulted from the failure of yesterday.
  • Success or failure in business is caused more by the mental attitude even than by mental capacities.
  • Success requires no explanations, failure permits no alibis. -Napoleon Hill
  • Success seems to be largely a matter of hanging on after others have let go. -William Feather
  • Successful men are influenced by desire for pleasing results. Failures are influenced by desire for pleasing methods.
  • Such is human psychology that if we don't express our joy, we soon cease to feel it. -Lin Yutang
  • Such is life, and it's getting sucher and sucher.
  • Sudden prayers make God jump.
  • Sue Atchley Ebaugh~ The greatest gift we can give one another is rapt attention to one anothers existence.
  • Sue Grafton~ It never pays to deal with the flyweights of the world. They take far too much pleasure in thwarting you at every turn.
  • Sue Patton Thoele~ Abundance is in large part an attitude.
  • Suicide is a way of telling God, "You can't fire me, I quit!"
  • Summer vacation is a time when parents realize that teachers are grossly underpaid.
  • Support D.A.M. Mothers Against Dyslexia.
  • Support a lawyer. Become a doctor.
  • Support our troops!
  • Sure I'm for helping the elderly. I'm going to be old myself someday. (at age 85). -Lilian Carter
  • Sure you can have my gun: Bullets first!
  • Sure you can trust the government. Just ask an Indian!
  • Surely the world we live in is but the world that lives in us. -Daisy Bates
  • Surgery is the red flower that blooms among the leaves and thorns that are the rest of medicine. - Dr. Richard Selzer
  • Susan Butler Anderson~ On packing Lay out all your clothes and all your money. Then take half the clothes and twice the money.
  • Susan Ertz~ He talked with more claret than clarity.
  • Susan Jeffers~ We cannot escape fear. We can only transform it into a companion that accompanies us on all our exciting adventures.
  • Susan Jeffers~ We have been taught to believe that negative equals realistic and positive equals unrealistic.
  • Susan Partnow~ It is within the families themselves where peace can begin.
  • Susan S. Taylor~ Thoughts are energy. And you can make your world or break your world by thinking.
  • Suzanne Chapin~ All that is worth cherishing begins in the heart not the head.
  • Suzanne Heller~ Misery is when grown-ups dont realize how miserable kids can feel.
  • Suzanne Heller~ Misery is when you make your bed and then your mother tells you its the day shes changing the sheets.
  • Suzanne Necker~ Fortune does not change men it unmasks them.
  • Suze Orman~ Its better to do nothing with your money than something you dont understand.
  • Swami Sivanada~ When an idea exclusively occupies the mind it is transformed into an actual physical or mental state.
  • Swami Vivekananda~ This world is the great gymnasium where we come to make ourselves strong.
  • Swear, food, or starve; for the dilemma's even; A tradesman thou! and hope to go to heaven? - John Dryden
  • Sweat plus sacrifice equals success. -Charlie Finley
  • Sweeten the kitty - Increase the amount
  • Swingers~ Trent Im making Gretzkys head bleed for super-fan over here
  • Switch watch, wrist watch.
  • Swordfish~ Stan Bad guy cant win. Its a morality tale. One way or the other - hes gotta go down.
  • Swordfish~ Stan Well you can take the girl outta the trailer park but you cant take the trailer park outta the girl.
  • Sydney Harris~ People far prefer happiness to wisdom but that is like wanting to be immortal without getting older.
  • Sydney Harris~ When I hear somebody sigh Life is hard I am always tempted to ask Compared to what
  • Sydney J. Harris~ Never take the advice of someone who has not had your kind of trouble.
  • Sydney J. Harris~ Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable.
  • Sydney Smith~ He had occasional flashes of silence that made his conversation perfectly delightful.
  • Sydney Smith~ Live always in the best company when you read.
  • Sydney Smith~ Never try to reason the prejudice out of a man. It was not reasoned into him and cannot be reasoned out.
  • Sydney Smith~ Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goals.
  • Sylvia Bremer~ The finest kind of friendship is between people who expect a great deal of each other but never ask it.
  • Sylvia Robinson~ Some think its holding on that makes one strong sometimes its letting go.
  • System going down at 1:45 for disk crashing.
  • T. S. Eliot~ Humor is also a way of saying something serious.
  • T. S. Eliot~ Most of the trouble in the world is caused by people wanting to be important.
  • T. S. Eliot~ Where is the wisdom we have lost in knowledge Where is the knowledge we have lost in information
  • THANK YOU for deciding what's good for me.
  • Tabby - A domestic cat with a striped and mottled coat
  • Tact is the ability to describe others as they see themselves.
  • Tact is the ability to describe others as they see themselves. - Anne Morrow Lindbergh
  • Taglines are like cats. You just think they're yours.
  • Tail raising also indicates the cats position in the group's social hierarchy, with dominant individuals raising their tails less often.
  • Take a chance! All life is a chance. The man who goes the furthest is generally the one who is willing to do and dare. -Dale Carnegie
  • Take away love and our earth is a tomb.
  • Take calculated risks. That is quite different from being rash. -General George Patton
  • Take care of your body. It's the only place you have to live. -Jim Rohn
  • Take charge of your attitude. Don't let someone else choose it for you. -Anonymous
  • Take off the blinders. You have to see opportunity before you can seize it. -Greg Hickman
  • Take time to deliberate; but when the time for action arrives, stop thinking and go for it. (Andrew Jackson)
  • Take your ex out tonight. One bullet ought to do it!
  • Talent develops in tranquillity, character in the full current of human life. -Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
  • Talent is only the starting point. -Irving Berlin
  • Talk 'till your blue in the face.
  • Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand.
  • Talk of nothing but business, and dispatch that business quickly. - Manutius Aldus (Aldo Manuzio)
  • Talk to me baby, I know you understand my needs. -Roger Fleming
  • Talking is used to hide one's inability to act
  • Tallulah Bankhead~ Im as pure as the driven slush.
  • Tallulah Bankhead~ They used to photograph Shirley Temple through gauze. They should photograph me through linoleum.
  • Taming Wild Cats by Claude Face
  • Tao Le Ching~ It is only by not trusting that you turn someone into a liar.
  • Tarine deficiency can cause central retinal degeneration (CRD) in cats, as well as hair loss and tooth decay.
  • Taurine deficiency can cause macular degeneration where the cat's retina slowly degenerates, causing irreversible blindness.
  • Taurine is now a required ingredient in cat food products and should contain at least 0.1% dry food and 0.2% wet food.
  • Teach. Don't Preach.
  • Teacher, I can't solve this problem. Any five year old should be able to solve this one. No wonder I can't do it then, I'm nearly ten!
  • Teacher: Does anyone know which month has 28 days? Pupil: All of them!
  • Teacher: I said to draw a cow eating some grass but you've only drawn the cow? Pupil: Yes, the cow ate all the grass!
  • Teacher: I'd like to go through one whole day without having to tell you off. Pupil: You have my permission!
  • Teacher: If you had five apples on your desk and the boy next to you took three what would you have? Pupil : A fight!
  • Teacher: Name two pronouns? Pupil: Who? , me?
  • Teacher: That's quite a cough you have there, what are you taking for it? Pupil: I don't know teacher. What will you give me?
  • Teacher: This note from your father looks like your handwriting? Pupil: Well, yes, he borrowed my pen!
  • Teacher: To which family does the elephant belong? Pupil:I don't know, nobody I know owns one!
  • Teacher: Tommy you try my patience! Tommy: No, teacher you had better try mine. There's more of it!
  • Teacher: Were you copying his sums? Pupil : No Sir, just seeing if he got mine right!
  • Teacher: What is can't short for? Pupil: Cannot missTeacher: and what is don't short for Pupil: Doughnut!
  • Teacher: What is the most common phrase used in school? Pupil : I don't knowTeacher: Correct!
  • Teacher: What's 2 and 2? Pupil: 4Teacher: That's good. Pupil: Good? , that's perfect!
  • Teacher: What's the definition of a Polygamist? Pupil: A parrot with more than one wife!
  • Teacher: Where is your homework? Pupil: I was mugged on the way to school and the mugger took everything I had
  • Teacher: Why are you reading the last pages of your history book first? Pupil: I want to know how it ends!
  • Teacher: Why are you the only child in the classroom today? Pupil : Because I was the only one who didn't have school dinners yesterday!
  • Teacher: Why can't you ever answer any of my questions? Pupil: Well if I could there wouldn't be much point in me being here!
  • Teacher: Why do we put a hyphen in a bird-cage? Pupil: For a parrot to perch on, miss.
  • Teacher: You aren't paying attention to me. Are you having trouble hearing? Pupil: No, teacher I'm having trouble listening!
  • Teacher: You've been e-mailing other pupils that I'm ugly! Pupil: Sorry, miss, I didn't realise you wanted to keep it a secret.
  • Tears will get you sympathy. Sweat will get you results.
  • Technology... is a queer thing. It brings you great gifts with one hand, and it stabs you in the back with the other. - Carrie P. Snow
  • Ted Rall~ Close friends love you for who you are not what they want you to be.
  • Ted Turner~ If I only had a little humility Id be perfect.
  • Ted Williams~ Baseball is the only field of endeavor where a man can succeed three times out of ten and be considered a good performer.
  • Ted Williams~ Pour water on a sportswriter - instant horseshit.
  • Ted Williams~ The inside half of the plate. Thats where historys made.
  • Ted Williams~ The only thing dumber than a pitcher is two pitchers.
  • Telepath wanted. You know where to apply.
  • Tell a man he is brave, and you help him to become so. -Thomas Carlyle
  • Teller: Why did the blonde move to L. A. ? Blonde: I don't know. Why? Teller: It was easier to spell. Blonde: Easier than what?
  • Telling someone the truth is a loving act. -Mal Pancoast
  • Telling the boss what a good worker you are is worth 1%..showing him is worth 96%.
  • Temptation resisted is the true measure of character. (Louis Dega)
  • Ten tame tadpoles tucked tightly together in a thin tall tin.
  • Tenderness and kindness are not signs of weakness and despair, but manifestations of strength and resolution. -Kahlil Gibran
  • Tennessee Williams~ Life is an unanswered question but lets believe in the dignity and important of the question.
  • Tennessee Williams~ Security is a kind of death.
  • Tennessee Williams~ The world is a funny paper read backwards. And that way it isnt so funny.
  • Tennessee Williams~ You can be young without money but you cant be old without it.
  • Terence~ Homo sum humani nil a me alienum puto.(I am a man I hold that nothing human is alien to me.)
  • Terence~ I am a man I hold that nothing human is alien to me.
  • Terence~ That is true wisdom to know how to alter ones mind when occasion demands it.
  • Terence~ There is a demand in these days for men who can make wrong appear right.
  • Terminator Judgment Day~ The Terminator Hasta la vista baby.
  • Terry Hands~ We may pretend that were basically moral people who make mistakes but the whole of history proves otherwise.
  • Terry Josephson~ No matter where you go or what you do you live your entire life within the confines of your head.
  • Terry Josephson~ Stop thinking in terms of limitations and start thinking in terms of possibilities.
  • Testing drugs on computers just makes them safe for computers.
  • Tex Avery~ Whats up Doc
  • Thaddeus Golas~ What happens is not as important as how you react to what happens.
  • Thank the other three brothers of their father's mother's brother's side.
  • That "Love Thy Neighbor" thing... I meant it.-- God
  • That can never be erased. (Gabe Suico)
  • That dog will hunt.
  • That is why you fail. (in response to Luke saying, "I don't believe it."). -Yoda
  • That kind of life is most happy which affords us most opportunities of gaining our own esteem. -Samuel Johnson
  • That place is so crowded, nobody goes there anymore. (Yogi Berra)
  • That was a pointing device? My cat thought it was dinner.
  • That which is acquired without difficulty is dispersed with equal facility.
  • That which is bitter to endure may be sweet to remember. -Thomas Fuller
  • That which seems the height of absurdity in one generation often becomes the height of wisdom in the next. - John Stuart Mill
  • That's funny you calling me an animal, and it's you that has the webbed feet.
  • That's not a bald spot, it's a solar panel for a sex machine.
  • That's not a lie, it's a terminological inexactitude. Also, a tactical misrepresentation. -Alexander Haig
  • That's not serious; it's just human. ~Jerry Kopke
  • That's the way the cookie crumbles.
  • That's the way things come clear. All of a sudden. And then you realize how obvious they've been all along. - Madeleine L'engle
  • The "New Right" is fundamentally wrong.
  • The ASPCA warns owners to safeguard the more dangerous perches in their homes, to avoid high-rise syndrome (falls) in cats.
  • The Albanian planted lightbulbs in his garden. He heard that tulips grew from bulbs.
  • The Barber of Seville by Aaron Floor
  • The Belzer Rabbi~ Let a good man do good deeds with the same zeal that the evil man does bad ones.
  • The Big Bang Theory: God Spoke and BANG it Happened.
  • The Cat Philosophy of Life: If you can't Eat it or Shred it, then Sleep on it.
  • The Chocolate Bar by Ken I Havesum
  • The Congress is a strange place where people get up and speak, nobody listens, and then everyone disagrees at the top of their lungs.
  • The Creator has not given you a longing to do that which you have no ability to do. -Orison Swett Marden
  • The Creator has not given you a longing to do what you have no ability to do. -Orison Swett Marden
  • The Dalai Lama~ If you want others to be happy practice compassion. If you want to be happy practice compassion.
  • The Dhammapada~ Ones own self conquered is better than all other people.
  • The Earth is full. Go Home!
  • The Easter Bunny didn't rise from the dead.
  • The Economic Breakfast by Roland Marge
  • The Eleventh Commandment: Thou shall not commit adulthood.
  • The Escaping Herd by Gay Topen
  • The Garlic Eater by I Malone
  • The Greatest Detective Stories Ever Told by Watts E. Dunn
  • The Information Revolution will be fought on the command line.
  • The Insomniac by Eliza Wake
  • The Iron Rule: Don't do for others what, given the chance, they wouldn't do for themselves.
  • The Japenese Way of Death by Harri Kirri
  • The Long Walk Home by Miss D. Buss
  • The Millionaire by Ivor Fortune
  • The New Drum by Major Headache
  • The Pilgrims were the first to introduce cats to North America.
  • The President must stop gambling with taxpayers' money and get the country back on the path of fiscal sanity. - Tom Harkin
  • The Promised Land always lies on the other side of a Wilderness. -Havelock Ellis
  • The Queue Principle: The longer you wait in line, the greater the likelihood that you are standing in the wrong line.
  • The Rapture already happened -- no one made the cut.
  • The Road Not Taken~ I took the road less traveled by and that has made all the difference.
  • The Runaway Horse by Gay Topen
  • The Schizophrenic: An Unauthorized Autobiography
  • The South Wind has for the evening donned jasmine scent. - Saiom Shriver
  • The Sphynx cat Mr. Bigglesworth has become the poster cat for this breed.
  • The Sphynx cat always enjoys sitting in front of you and looking at you with a loving glance.
  • The Sphynx cat average males weigh between 8 and 10 pounds.
  • The Sphynx cat body feels like warm Chamois leather.
  • The Sphynx cat do not need combs or brushes.
  • The Sphynx cat ears are like a bat’s, and his paws are just like childrens hands.
  • The Sphynx cat eat more than most cats, because of the higher metabolic rate needed to maintain a higher body temperature.
  • The Sphynx cat generally likes unusual cat dishes such as grapes, watermelons, cucumbers etc.
  • The Sphynx cat gets remarks like oh my god, is that a cat or dog? or ooooh thats soooo ugly ....
  • The Sphynx cat has an abundance of energy and wants to be always either near you, on top of you or showing off for you.
  • The Sphynx cat has his/her own language you have never heard before, and constantly poses for photos.
  • The Sphynx cat has the wisdom of the ages written in their souls.
  • The Sphynx cat have sturdy boning and good muscle development and should have a bit of a belly as if they just finished dinner.
  • The Sphynx cat is ALWAYS the center of attention.
  • The Sphynx cat is a smart, high-energy breed that loves to show off for his favorite people and is social to house guests.
  • The Sphynx cat is hard to describe in mere words .... They are just EXTRAordinary.
  • The Sphynx cat is noted for its high metabolism and need to eat a LOT of food daily but is at low risk for becoming overweight or obese.
  • The Sphynx cat lack of hair that would normally absorb body oils makes the Sphynx need at least weekly bathing and ear cleaning.
  • The Sphynx cat lays on laptops, computers, radio receivers or tvs, heat registers, fax machine, or printer, etc.
  • The Sphynx cat likes snuggling with all other pets like dogs.
  • The Sphynx cat loves rubbing his head against your stubbly 5 o'clock shadow.
  • The Sphynx cat loves to wear cat clothing as it helps keep them warm and cozy.
  • The Sphynx cat more than often has light hair on their nose, ears, tail and toes.
  • The Sphynx cat need cat-safe sun block and limit your Sphynx’s exposure outside during sunny days.
  • The Sphynx cat perform silly antics for your entertainment and are sometimes downright clumsy .... on purpose it seems.
  • The Sphynx cat prefers hooman attention but enjoy the company of dogs and other cats.
  • The Sphynx cat ranks seventh in popularity among the breeds recognized by the Cat Fanciers Association.
  • The Sphynx cat runs like a monkey over the furniture and sits on your shoulder like a parrot.
  • The Sphynx cat turns into a heat-seeking missile to find a toasty place, usually under the covers when its time for a nap.
  • The Sphynx cat was originally a spontaneous mutation.
  • The Spicy Sausage by Delia Katessen
  • The Strongmanby Everhard Muscles
  • The Talmud~ A person will be called to account on Judgement Day for every permissible thing he might have enjoyed but did not.
  • The Talmud~ The sun sets without thy assistance.
  • The Talmud~ Who can protest and does not is an accomplice in the act.
  • The Talmud~ Who is a wise man He who learns of all men.
  • The Ten Commandments are not the ten suggestions!
  • The Untamed Tiger by Claudia Armoff
  • The Worst Journey in the Worldby Helen Back
  • The Worst Strikerby Mr Goal
  • The ability to accept responsibility is the measure of the man. - Roy L. Hunt
  • The ability to concentrate and to use time well is everything. -Lee Iacocca
  • The ability to convert ideas to things is the secret of outward success. -Henry Ward Beecher
  • The ability to learn faster than your competitors may be the only sustainable competitive advantage. -Peter Senge
  • The ability to make yourself do what you should do, when you should do it, whether you feel like it or not.
  • The ability to manage well doesn't make much difference if you're not even in the right jungle. -Stephen Covey
  • The absence of taurine causes a cat's retina to slowly degenerate, causing eye problems and (eventually) irreversible blindness.
  • The achievements of an organization are the results of the combined effort of each individual. -Vincent Lombardi
  • The act of writing is the act of discovering what you believe. -David Hare
  • The actions of men are the best interpreters of their thoughts.
  • The ad in the paper said 'Big Sale. Last Week.' Why advertise? I already missed it. They're just rubbing it in.
  • The ad in the paper said 'Big Sale. Last Week.' Why advertise? I already missed it. They're just rubbing it in. (Yakov Smirnoff)
  • The aim of argument, or of discussion, should not be victory, but progress. (Joseph Joubert)
  • The apple doesn't fall too far from the tree.
  • The art of being happy lies in the power of extracting happiness from common things. -Henry Ward Beecher
  • The art of living lies less in eliminating our troubles than in growing with them. -Bernard M. Baruch
  • The art of love ... is largely the art of persistence. - Albert Ellis
  • The atom, being for all practical purposes the stable unit of the physical plane, is a constantly changing vortex of reactions. - Unknown
  • The attraction in this city is money, from gambling. What you are if you work here is a shill. - Joe Williams
  • The average age for an indoor cat is 15 years, while the average age for an outdoor cat is only 3 to 5 years.
  • The average cat weighs 12 pounds.
  • The average lifespan of an outdoor-only cat is about 3 to 5 years while an indoor-only cat can live
  • The average litter of kittens is between 2 - 6 kittens.
  • The average pencil is seven inches long, with just a half-inch eraser - in case you thought optimism was dead. -Robert Brault
  • The average pencil is seven inches long, with just a half-inch eraser-in case you thought optimism was dead. -Robert Brault
  • The axe soon forgets, but the tree always remembers.
  • The bad news is time flies. The good news is you're the pilot. (Michael Althsuler)
  • The bad news is time flies. The good news is you're the pilot. -Michael Althsuler
  • The bank of friendship cannot exist for long without deposits.
  • The beginning is the most important part of the work. -Plato
  • The beginning of anxiety is the end of faith. The beginning of true faith is the end of anxiety.
  • The behaviors shown by most house Cats have a parallel in the wild.
  • The beloved of the Almighty are the rich who have the humility of the poor, and the poor who have the magnanimity of the rich.
  • The best Windows accelerator is that which works at 9.81m/s2
  • The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched - they must be felt with the heart. - Hellen Keller
  • The best argument is that which seems merely an explanation. - Dale Carnegie
  • The best bet you get is an even break. - Franklin Pierce Adams
  • The best bridge between hope and despair is often a good night's sleep.
  • The best is yet to be. -Robert Browning
  • The best mathematical equation I have ever seen: 1 cross + 3 nails = 4 given
  • The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale. - Arthur C. Clarke
  • The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale. -Arthur C. Clarke
  • The best morale exists when you never hear the word mentioned. When you hear it it's usually lousy. -Dwight D. Eisenhower
  • The best part about poker is there's no down side - Samantha Bee
  • The best prophet is common sense, our native wit. - Euripides
  • The best revenge is a vow to never be like the one who hurt you.
  • The best sermon...is a good example
  • The best sermons are lived, not preached.
  • The best throw with the dice is to throw them away. - Anonymous
  • The best vision is insight. -Malcolm Forbes
  • The best way out is always through. -Robert Frost
  • The best-dressed woman is one whose clothes wouldn't look too strange in the country. - Sir Hardy Amies
  • The better the gambler, the worse the man. ~Publius Syrus
  • The better work men do is always done under stress and at great personal cost. -William Carlos Williams
  • The big bangby Dina Mite
  • The bigger they come, the harder they fall.
  • The biggest fool in the world is he who merely does his work supremely well, without attending to appearance. - Michael Korda
  • The biggest liar you'll ever have to deal with probably watches you shave his face in the mirror every morning.
  • The bitterness of poor quality remains long after low pricing is forgotten! -Leon M. Cautillo
  • The block of granite, which was an obstacle in the path of the weak, becomes a stepping stone in the path of the strong. -Thomas Carlyle
  • The body of a sensualist is the coffin of a dead soul. - Christian Nevell Bovee
  • The box said 'Required Windows 95 or better'. So, I installed LINUX.
  • The burdens of the world on my back lightens the world not one whit, while removing them greatly decreases my specific gravity.
  • The cat appears to be the only domestic animal not mentioned in the Bible.
  • The cat ate cheese and waited by mousehole with baited breath.
  • The cat has too much spirit to have no heart.
  • The cat is highly dignified until the dog comes by ...
  • The cat lets me live here.
  • The cat may look at a king - An insolent remark of insubordination, meaning, I am as good as you.
  • The cat seldom interferes with other people's rights.
  • The cat's front paw has 5 toes and the back paws have 4. Cats born with 6 or 7 front toes and extra back toes are called polydactyl
  • The cat's tail is used to maintain balance.
  • The cats saliva is a powerful cleaning agent and deodorant.
  • The chains of habit are generally too small to be felt until they are too strong to be broken. -Samuel Johnson
  • The challenge is not to manage time, but to manage ourselves. -Steven Covey
  • The church is looking for better methods. God is looking for better men.
  • The church is prayer-conditioned.
  • The claws on the cat's back feet aren't as sharp as the claws on the front because they can't retract into the toe.
  • The closest distance between two people is a good laugh. -Leo Bascalia
  • The cold absolute truth is much more preferred than a kind and uncertain lie. (Gabe Suico)
  • The collapse of character begins with compromise.
  • The commerce of the world is conducted by the strong, and usually it operates against the weak. - Henry Ward Beecher
  • The common painkiller paracetamol or acetaminophen, sold under brand names such as Tylenol and Panadol, is EXTREMLY toxic to cats.
  • The commonest mistake in history is underestimating your opponent; it happens at the poker table all the time. ~David Shoup
  • The contented person is never poor. The discontented is never rich.
  • The control center of your life is your attitude. -Anonymous
  • The creation of a thousand forests is in one acorn. -Ralph Waldo Emerson
  • The crow flew over the river with a lump of raw liver. .
  • The cruelest disappointment is when you let yourself down
  • The cure for anger is delay. -Seneca
  • The definition of virtue: Insufficient temptation. (George Bernard Shaw)
  • The degree of panic is the degree of the lack of personal spiritual experience with God. (Oswald Chambers)
  • The depth of darkness to which you can descend and still live is an exact measure of the height to which you can aspire to reach. -Laurens
  • The desire not to be anything is the desire not to be. -Ayn Rand
  • The desire of love is to give. The desire of lust is to get.
  • The devil you know is better than the devil you don't know.
  • The dice are always loaded in Gods favor.
  • The dice of God are always loaded. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
  • The dice of Zeus always fall luckily. - Sophocles
  • The difference between a good haircut and a bad haircut is about a week.
  • The difference between a mountain and a molehill is your perspective. -Al Neuharth
  • The difference between a rebel and a patriot is wether who is in power.
  • The difference between a successful person and others is not a lack of strength, not a lack of knowledge, but rather in a lack of will.
  • The difference between failure and success is doing a thing nearly right and doing it exactly right. -Edward Simmons
  • The difference between genius and stupidity is; genius has its limits.
  • The difference between involvement and commitment is like ham and eggs. The chicken is involved; the pig is committed. -Martina Navratilova
  • The difficult part in an argument is not to defend one's opinion but rather to know it. - Andre Maurois
  • The discipline of desire is the background of character. -John Locke
  • The distance is nothing; it's only the first step that is difficult. -Marquise du Deffand
  • The distinction between a manager and a leader is as broad as the distance between control and inspiration.
  • The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
  • The economy depends about as much on economists as the weather does on forecasters.
  • The end and aim of all education is the development of character. - Francis W. Parker
  • The energy of the mind is the essence of life. -Aristotle
  • The entire sum of existence is the magic of being needed by just one person. - Vi Putnam
  • The essence of knowledge is, having it, to apply it; not having it, to confess your ignorance. - Confucius
  • The essence of romantic love is that wonderful beginning, after which sadness and impossibility may become the rule. - Anita Brookner
  • The essence of worldliness is exclusion of God. - Henry Jacobsen
  • The ex-egg examiner.
  • The eyes are not responsible when the mind does the seeing. -Publilius Syrus
  • The fact that you are willing to say, "I do not understand, and it is fine," is the greatest understanding you could exhibit. -Wayne Dyer
  • The fates lead him who will-him who won't they drag. -Seneca
  • The fear of being laughed at makes cowards of us all. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960
  • The fearful unbelief is unbelief in yourself. -Thomas Carlyle
  • The female cat reaches sexual maturity within 6 to 10 months; most veterinarians suggest spaying the female at 5 months.
  • The female cat will give a loud yowl as the male pulls out of her as the males penis has backward pointing spines.
  • The first and great commandment is: Don't let them scare you. -Elmer Davis
  • The first cat show was held in 1895 at Madison Square Garden in New York City, New York.
  • The first duty of love is to listen. (Tillich)
  • The first one gets the oyster the second gets the shell. -Andrew Carnegie
  • The first task of a leader is to keep hope alive. -Joe Batten
  • The fortune which nobody sees makes a person happy and unenvied. -Francis Bacon
  • The four cat food groups: Dry, Canned, Natural, Yours.
  • The fox has many tricks. The hedgehog has but one. But that is the best of all. - Desiderius Erasmus
  • The fragrance always stays in the hand that gives the rose. - Hada Bejar
  • The freedom to be your best means nothing unless you are willing to do your best. -Colin Powell
  • The function of leadership is to produce more leaders, not more followers. -Ralph Nader
  • The funny thing about common sense, it ain't all that common.
  • The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams. (Eleanor Roosevelt)
  • The gambler is a moral suicide. ~ Charles Caleb Colton
  • The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling. ~Ambrose Bierce
  • The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
  • The goal of education is to replace an empty mind with an open mind. -Malcolm Forbes
  • The good Lord gave you a body that can stand most anything. It's your mind you have to convince. -Vincent Lombardi
  • The good life is a process, not a state of being. It is a direction not a destination. -Carl Rogers
  • The good man is the man who, no matter how morally unworthy he has been, is moving to become better. -John Dewey
  • The good old days: When sex was dirty and Michael Jackson was black.
  • The grass is always greener.
  • The great advantage of being in a rut is that when one is in a rut, one knows exactly where one is. -Thomas Arnold Bennett
  • The great end of life is not knowledge but action.
  • The great open spaces where cats are cats. - Marquis
  • The great seal of truth is simplicity. - Herman Boerhaave
  • The great thing in the world is not so much where we stand, as in what direction we are moving.
  • The great thing in the world is not so much where we stand, as in what direction we are moving. (Holmes)
  • The great thing in the world is not so much where we stand, as in what direction we are moving. -Oliver Wendell Holmes
  • The great tragedy of science - the slaying of a beautiful hypothesis by an ugly fact. - Thomas H. Huxley
  • The great tragedy of science - the slaying of a beautiful hypothesis by an ugly fact. - Thomas Huxley
  • The greater the difficulty, the more glory in surmounting it. Skillful pilots gain their reputation from storms and tempests. -Epictetus
  • The greatest advantage in gambling lies in not playing at all.
  • The greatest advantage in gambling lies in not playing at all. ~ Girolamo Cardano
  • The greatest discovery of my generation is that human beings can alter their lives by altering their attitudes of mind.
  • The greatest discovery of my generation is that human beings can alter their lives by altering their attitudes of mind. -William James
  • The greatest foes, and whom we must chiefly combat, are within. - Miguel De Cervantes
  • The greatest genius will never be worth much if he pretends to draw exclusively from his own resources. -Johann Wolfgang Goethe
  • The greatest good you can do for another is not just to share your riches, but to reveal to him his own. (Benjamin Disraeli)
  • The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing that you will make one. -Irish Blessing
  • The greatest obstacle to discovery is not ignorance-it is the illusion of knowledge. -Daniel J Boorstin
  • The greatest pleasure I know is to do a good action by stealth, and to have it found out by accident. -Charles Lamb
  • The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot.
  • The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot. (Walter Bagehut)
  • The greatest risk is the risk of riskless living. -Stephen Covey
  • The greatest thing in the world is not so much where we are, but in what direction we are moving. -Oliver Wendell Holmes
  • The greatest things are accomplished by individual people, not by committees or companies. -Alfred A. Montapert
  • The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he didn't exist.
  • The guy who invented poker was bright, but the guy who invented the chip was a genius. - Big Julie
  • The habit does not make the monk. [Lat., Cucullus (or Cuculla) non facit monachum.] - John Dryden
  • The hand cannot reach higher than does the heart. -Orison Swett Marden
  • The hard way is the right way. -John Alves
  • The harder I work, the luckier I get. -Sam Goldwyn
  • The harder the conflict, the more glorious the triumph. -Thomas Paine
  • The harder you fall, the higher you bounce. -Anonymous
  • The harder you work, the harder it is to surrender. -Vince Lombardi
  • The harder you work, the harder it is to surrender. -Vincent Lombardi
  • The harder you work, the luckier you get. -Mcalexander
  • The haves and the have-nots can often be traced to the dids and the did-nots.
  • The healthy, the strong individual, is the one who asks for help when he needs it. Whether he has an abscess on his knee or in his soul.
  • The heart has eyes which the brain knows nothing of. -Charles H. Perkhurst
  • The heaviest cat on record weighed 46 lbs.
  • The height of your accomplishments will equal the depth of your convictions. (William F. Scolavino)
  • The height of your accomplishments will equal the depth of your convictions. -William F. Scolavino
  • The higher we soar, the smaller we appear to those who cannot fly. (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche)
  • The highest courage is to dare to appear to be what one is. -John Lancaster Spalding
  • The highest happiness of man... is to have probed what is knowable and quietly to revere what is unknowable. -Goethe
  • The highest of distinctions is service to others. -King George Vi
  • The highest reward for a man's toil is not what he gets for it but what he becomes by it. -John Ruskin
  • The highest virtue found in the tropics is chastity, and in the colder regions, temperance. -Christian Nevell Bovee
  • The hooman's food is meant to be shared with the cat.
  • The horn of plenty is usually the one behind you in traffic!
  • The hours that make us happy make us wise. -John Mansfield
  • The house doesn't beat the player. It just gives him the opportunity to beat himself. ~Nick Dandalos
  • The idea is not responsible for the people who believe in it.
  • The idea of thanking staff should mean giving them something that they would never buy for themselves. -Jayne Crook
  • The ideas that have lighted my way have been kindness, beauty and truth. -Albert Einstein
  • The important thing is not so much that every child should be taught, as that every child should be given the wish to learn. -John Lubbock
  • The influence of each human being on others in this life is a kind of immortality. -John Quincy Adams
  • The inner thought coming from the heart represents the real motives and desires. These are the cause of action. -Raymond Holliwell
  • The insane create worlds, the sane live in them... the sane create cages, the insane live in them.
  • The irony is that the person not taking risks feels the same amount of fear as the person who regularly takes risks. -Peter Mcwilliams
  • The is FUBAR (Fucked Up Beyond All Repair).
  • The key to happiness is not fixing your problems but changing your attitude towards your problems.
  • The kids drive me crazy. I drive them everywhere!
  • The knowledge of the world is only to be acquired in the world, and not in a closet. ~Lord Philip Dormer Stanhope Chesterfield
  • The lack of belief is a defect that ought to be concealed when it cannot be overcome -Jonathan Swift
  • The language of friendship is not words but meanings. -Henry David Thoreau
  • The last 7 words of a dying church: "We never did it like that before".
  • The last of the human freedoms is to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances. -Victor E. Frankl
  • The last place he lived in, he campaigned for dry law, got it passed and then moved away.
  • The last thing we decide in writing a book is what to put first. -Blaise Pascal
  • The last time I saw a face like yours I threw it a banana.
  • The latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the population.
  • The leader has to be practical and a realist, yet must talk the language of the visionary and the idealist.
  • The leaves of the Easter Lily can cause permanent and life-threatening kidney damage to cats, and Philodendron are also poisonous to cats.
  • The less routine the more life. -Amos Bronson Alcott
  • The liar's punishment is not in the least that he is not believed, but that he cannot believe anyone else. (George Bernard Shaw)
  • The life expectancy of cats has nearly doubled over the last fifty years.
  • The lights are on but no one's home.
  • The live in wisdom who see themselves in all and all in them, who have renounced every selfish desire and sense craving tormenting the heart
  • The liver of a cat is less effective at some forms of detoxification than those of other animals, including hoomans and dogs.
  • The longer you wait, the better the date. (Myriad Sky)
  • The lord is my shepherd, but he's looking for a better job!
  • The losses as well as the prizes must be drawn from the cheating lottery of life. - Le Sage
  • The love of parents for their child is measured by the length they will go to compete with the world for the love of that child.
  • The love received is the love that is saved. - Eddie Vedder
  • The major difference between death and taxes is that Congress can't make death any worse than it is.
  • The male cat is known as a Tom Cat and the female cat is known as a Bitch or Queen.
  • The male, or Tomcat in Scotland is called a Gib cat; the female is a Doe cat.
  • The man who can drive himself further once the effort gets painful is the man who will win.
  • The man who follows a crowd will never be followed by a crowd. -R. S. Donnell
  • The man who has no imagination has no wings. -Muhammad Ali
  • The man who is too old to learn was probably always too old to learn. - Caryl Haskins
  • The man who makes no mistakes does not usually make anything.
  • The man who makes no mistakes does not usually make anything. ~Edward Phelps
  • The man who wins may have been counted out several times but he didn't hear the referee. -H E Jansen
  • The manager has a short-range view; the leader has a long-range perspective. -Warren Bennis
  • The manager has his eye on the bottom line; the leader has his eye on the horizon. -Warren Bennis
  • The map is not the territory. -Alfred Korzybski
  • The meaning of life is not a question to be answered, but an event to be experienced.
  • The measure of a man is not the number of servants he has, but the number of people he serves.
  • The meeting of preparation with opportunity generates the offspring we call luck.
  • The meeting of preparation with opportunity generates the offspring we call luck. -Anthony Robbins
  • The men who succeed are the efficient few. They are the few who have the ambition and will power to develop themselves. -Herbert N. Casson
  • The men who try to do something and fail are infinitely better than those who try to do nothing and succeed. -Lloyd Jones
  • The mere fact that you have obstacles to overcome is in your favor... -Robert Collier
  • The mice may have the right but the cat has the claws.
  • The mind can only stand what the butt can endure.
  • The mind is just another muscle. -Ted Turner
  • The mind is like a parachute, it's no good unless it's open!
  • The mind is not a vessel to be filled but a fire to be kindled. -Plutarch
  • The mind of a poet begins with an H and ends with a T, listening with an EAR in between.
  • The mind of man is capable of anything because everything is in it, all the past as well as the future. -Joseph Conrad
  • The minute you settle for less than you deserve, you get even less than you settled for. -Maureen Dowd
  • The minute you start talking about what you are going to do if you lose, you have lost. (George Schultz)
  • The moment of enlightenment is when a person's dreams of possibilities become images of probabilities. -Vic Braden
  • The more I know the more I know I don't know.
  • The more I learn about terrorism, the better I understand the phone company
  • The more chance there is of stubbing your toe, the more chance you have of stepping into success.
  • The more perfect a thing is, the more susceptible to good and bad treatment it is. -Dante (alighieri)
  • The more things change the more they suck!
  • The more you complain, the longer God lets you live.
  • The more you love what you are doing, the more successful it will be for you. -Jerry Gillies
  • The most common causes of poisoning in cats are antifreeze and rodent baits.
  • The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not 'Eureka!' but 'That's funny...'. - Isaac Asimov
  • The most important key to achieving great success is to decide upon your goal and launch, get started, take action, move. -Brian Tracy
  • The most important things are the hardest to say, because words diminish them. -Stephen King
  • The most important trip you may take in life is meeting people half way. -Henry Boyle
  • The most ineffective workers are systematically moved to the place where they can do the least damage: Management. (Scott Adams)
  • The most popular names for female Cats in the U.S. are Missy, Misty, Muffin, Patches, Fluffy, Tabitha, Tigger, Pumpkin and Samantha.
  • The most practical, beautiful, workable philosophy in the world won't work-if you won't.
  • The most splendid achievement of all is the constant striving to surpass yourself and to be worthy of your own approval. -Denis Waitley
  • The most useless are those who never change through the years. -James Barrie
  • The myth of Miss Muffet.
  • The name is Baud ...... James Baud.
  • The next best thing to gambling and winning is gambling and losing.
  • The nice thing about Windows - it does not just crash; it actually displays a dialogue box and lets you press OK first.
  • The nice thing about standards is, there are so many to choose from.
  • The noblest revenge is to forgive.
  • The object of the superior man is truth. - Confucius
  • The obscure we see eventually. The completely obvious, it seems, takes longer. -Edward R. Murrow
  • The ochre ogre ogled the poker.
  • The office of government is not to confer happiness, but to give men the opportunity to work out happiness for themselves.
  • The old rule of an eye for an eye leaves everybody blind.(Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr)
  • The older I get, the smarter my Dad gets. (Mark Twain)
  • The one thing you can give and still keep is your word.
  • The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
  • The only disability in life is a bad attitude.
  • The only disability in life is a bad attitude. -Scott Hamilton
  • The only discipline that lasts is self-discipline.
  • The only failure one should fear, is not hugging to the purpose they see as best. -George Eliot
  • The only good is knowledge and the only evil is ignorance. -Socrates
  • The only limitations to God are in our mind.
  • The only man who makes money following the races is one who does it with a broom and shovel. - Hubbard, Elbert
  • The only man who never makes mistakes is the man who never does anything. -Theodore Roosevelt
  • The only people who never fail are those who never try. -Ilka Chase
  • The only person whom you really have reason to fear, is yourself. -Langenhoven
  • The only place where success comes before work is in the dictionary. -Vidal Sassoon
  • The only place you can win a football game is on the field. The only place you can lose it is in your head. (Darrell Royal)
  • The only pressure I'm under is the pressure I've put on myself. - Mark Messier
  • The only problem with troubleshooting is that sometimes trouble shoots back.
  • The only real failure in life is one not learned from. -Anthony J. D'Angelo
  • The only real mistake is the one from which we learn nothing. ~John Powell
  • The only reward of virtue is virtue. -Ralph Waldo Emerson
  • The only routine with me is no routine at all. (Jackie Kennedy)
  • The only stupid question is the question you don't ask.
  • The only thing I can't stand is discomfort. -Gloria Steinem
  • The only thing I like about the stones that come in my way is, once I pass across them, they automatically become my milestones!
  • The only thing to do with good advice is to pass it on. It is never of any use to oneself. - Oscar Wilde
  • The only thing we have to fear is fear itself. -Franklin D Roosevelt
  • The only thing we have to fear is fear itself. -Franklin D. Roosevelt
  • The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.
  • The only thing wrong with a perfect drive to work is that you end up at work.
  • The only thing you will ever be able to say in the so-called 'social' sciences is: "some do, some don't.". - Kelvin Throop III
  • The only thing you will take through those pearly gates is what you have given away. -Marcia Moore
  • The only time I feel alive is when I'm painting. -Vincent Van Gogh
  • The only time success comes before work is in the dictionary.
  • The only trouble with Baptists is they don't hold them under long enough.
  • The only true wisdom consists in knowing that you know nothing. -Unknown. - Unknown
  • The only way to comprehend what mathematicians mean by Infinity is to contemplate the extent of human stupidity.
  • The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it. -Dale Carnegie
  • The only way to know how customers see your business is to look at it through their eyes. -Daniel R. Scroggin
  • The only weapon that becomes sharper with constant use is the tongue. - Anonymous
  • The only yardstick for success our society has is being a champion. No one remembers anything else. -John Madden
  • The opposite of love is not hate, but apathy. You cannot hate someone you don't care about.
  • The optimist says, "My cup runneth over, what a blessing." The pessimist says, "My cup runneth over, what a mess."
  • The optimist says, "My cup runneth over, what a blessing." The pessimist says, "My cup runneth over, what a mess.".
  • The past doesn't equal the future. -Anthony Robbins
  • The past is a guidepost, not a hitching post. -Thomas Holcroft
  • The past should be a springboard not a hammock. -Irving Ball
  • The path to cheerfulness is to sit cheerfully and to act and speak as if cheerfulness were already there. -William James
  • The penalty for success is to be bored by the people who used to snub you.
  • The people and circumstances around me do not make me what I am, they reveal who I am. -Dr. Laura Schlessinger
  • The perfecting of one's self is the fundamental base of all progress and all moral development. -Confucius
  • The person who has earned love the least needs it the most.
  • The person who really thinks learns quite as much from his failures as from his successes.
  • The person who really thinks learns quite as much from his failures as from his successes. -John Dewey
  • The pessimist borrows trouble; the optimists lend encouragement. -William Arthur Ward
  • The pessimist sees difficulty in every opportunity. The optimist sees opportunity in every difficulty. -Winston Churchill
  • The point is that it looks like gambling because the language of the game is money. - Al Alvarez
  • The poorest man is not without a cent, but without a dream. -Unknown Author
  • The possible's slow fuse is lit by the imagination. -Emily Dickinson
  • The postman is wearing sexy shorts today!
  • The precious gift of caring and His never-ending blessing.
  • The price of greatness is responsibility.
  • The price of liberty is eternal vigilance. (Thomas Jefferson)
  • The probability that we may fail in struggle ought not to deter us from the support of a cause we believe to be just.
  • The probability that we may fail in struggle ought not to deter us from the support of a cause we believe to be just. -Abraham Lincoln
  • The process of scientific discovery is, in effect, a continual flight from wonder. - Albert Einstein
  • The program is absolutely right; therefore the computer must be wrong.
  • The purely agitation attitude is not good enough for a detailed consideration of a subject. - Jawaharlal Nehru
  • The purpose of education is to replace an empty mind with an open one.
  • The pursuit of truth will set you free; even if you never catch up with it. - Clarence Darrow
  • The quack quit asking quick questions.
  • The quality of a leader is reflected in the standards they set for themselves. -Ray Kroc
  • The quality of your life is the quality of your communication. (with yourself as well as with others). -Anthony Robbins
  • The queen coined quick clipped quips.
  • The queen in green screamed.
  • The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back in your pocket.
  • The race is not always to the swift nor the battle to the strong but that's the way to bet. - Damon Runyon
  • The racetrack is a place where windows clean people. - VP Pappy
  • The rapture was last night!
  • The real challenge (in life) is to choose, hold, and operate through intelligent, uplifting, and fully empowering beliefs. -Michael Sky
  • The real character of a man is found out by his amusements. -Jean Iris Murdoch
  • The real glory is being knocked to your knees and then coming back. That's real glory. That's the essence of it. -Vince Lombardi
  • The real problem is what to do with the problem-solvers after the problems are solved. - Gay Talese
  • The real problem with Baptists is that they never quite seem to hold them under long enough.
  • The real secret to success is enthusiasm. -Walter Chrysler
  • The realities of nature surpass our most ambitious dreams. -Francois Rodin
  • The reason grandchildren and grandparents get along so well is because they have a common "enemy".
  • The reason people blame things on the previous generations is that there's only one other choice. -Doug Larson
  • The relative speed of a computer, regardless of CPU architecture, is inversely proportional to the number of Microsoft products installed.
  • The religious right is neither.
  • The results you achieve will be in direct proportion to the effort you apply. -Denis Waitley
  • The right man is the one who seizes the moment.
  • The right to do something does not mean that doing it is right. -William Safire
  • The ripest peach is highest on the tree.
  • The roots of true achievement lie in the will to become the best that you can become. -Harold Taylor
  • The saddest failures in life are those that come from not putting forth the power and will to succeed.
  • The saddest failures in life are those that come from not putting forth the power and will to succeed. -Edwin Percy Welles
  • The saddest summary of a life contains three descriptions: could have, might have, and should have.
  • The saints are the sinners who keep going. -Robert Louis Stevenson
  • The science of today is the technology of tomorrow. - Edward Teller
  • The scientific theory I like best is that the rings of Saturn are composed entirely of lost airline luggage. - Ernest Rutherford
  • The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret. -Henny Youngman
  • The secret of happiness is to admire without desire.
  • The secret of happiness is to admire without desiring. - Francis H. Bradley
  • The secret of success in life is for a man to be ready for his opportunity when it comes.
  • The secret of success is constancy to purpose. -Benjamin Disraeli
  • The secret of success is to know something nobody else knows. -Aristotle Onassis
  • The secret to a rich life is to have more beginnings than endings. -Dave Weinbaum
  • The secret to managing is to keep the guys who hate you away from the guys who are undecided. -Casey Stengel
  • The setting of a great hope is like the setting of the sun. The brightness of our life is gone. -Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
  • The sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette.
  • The sharp employ the sharp. -Douglas William Jerrold
  • The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them. -Albert Einstein
  • The sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep's sick.
  • The size of a litter of kittens averages three to five kittens, with the first litter usually smaller than subsequent litters.
  • The smallest feline is a masterpiece. - Leonardo da Vinci
  • The soldiers shouldered shooters on their shoulders.
  • The sole advantage of power is that you can do more good. -Baltasar Gracian
  • The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.
  • The sorrow which has no vent in tears may make other organs weep. -Henry Maudsley
  • The soul becomes dyed with the color of its thoughts. -Marcus Aurelius
  • The soul should always stand ajar, ready to welcome the ecstatic experience. -Emily Dickinson
  • The sovereign invigorator of the body is exercise, and of all the exercises walking is the best. -Thomas Jefferson
  • The standardized American is largely a myth created not least by Americans themselves. - The Uses of Philosophy. -Irwin Edman
  • The state of your life is nothing more than a reflection of your state of mind.
  • The strength of a nation derives from the integrity of the home. (Confucius)
  • The stronger the wind the stronger the trees. -Willard Marriott
  • The strongest principle of growth lies in human choice. -George Eliot
  • The successful men of today are men of one overmastering idea, one unwavering aim, men of single and intense purpose. -Orison Swett Marden
  • The successful warrior is the average man, with laser-like focus.
  • The sum of human knowledge is not contained in any one language.
  • The sun, reflecting upon the mud of strands and shores, is unpolluted in his beam.
  • The superior man thinks only of virtue; the common man thinks only of comfort. -Confucius
  • The superior man understands what is right; the inferior man understands what will sell. - Confucius
  • The suspicious parent makes an artful child. -Thomas G Halliburton
  • The talent of success is nothing more than doing what you can do well, and doing well whatever you do.
  • The teacher asked Simon to say his name backwards. No mis he replied
  • The th. Dalai Lama~ The purpose of our lives is to be happy.
  • The thing I fear most is fear. -Michel Eyquem
  • The things taught in schools and colleges are not an education, but the means to an education. -Ralph Waldo Emerson
  • The tip you leave now for lunch would have bought you one twenty years ago.
  • The toes you step on today just might be connected to the ass you kiss tomorrow.
  • The tragedy of life doesn't lie in not reaching your goal. The tragedy lies in having no goal to reach.
  • The tragedy of life doesn't lie in not reaching your goal. The tragedy lies in having no goal to reach. (Benjamin Mays)
  • The tragedy of life is what dies in the hearts and souls of people while they live. (Albert Einstein)
  • The trouble is, by the time you have money to burn, the fire has gone out.
  • The trouble with man is two-fold; he cannot learn truths which are too complicated.. he forgets truths which are too simple.
  • The trouble with most of us is that we would rather be ruined by praise than saved by criticism. -Norman Vincent Peale
  • The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent full of doubt. -Bertrand Russell
  • The true meaning of life is to plant trees, under whose shade you do not expect to sit. -Nelson Henderson
  • The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good. -Ann Landers
  • The true work of art is but a shadow of the divine perfection. -Michelangelo
  • The truth is like ice water, it shocks you when it hits you, but no one's ever died from it.
  • The truth is rarely pure and never simple. -Oscar Wilde
  • The truth of the matter is that there's nothing you can't accomplish if you notice what works or not.
  • The truth of the matter is that you always know the right thing to do. The hard part is doing it. -Norman Schwarzkopf
  • The truth shall make you free. -The Bible, John 8
  • The ultimate creative capacity of the brain may be, for all practical purposes, infinite. -George Leonard
  • The ultimate test of a relationship is to disagree but to hold hands. -Alexandria Penney
  • The unexamined life is not worth living. - Socrates
  • The unexamined life is not worth living. -Socrates
  • The universe is change; our life is what our thoughts make it. -Marcus Aurelius
  • The universe is full of magical things patiently waiting for our wits to grow sharper. -Eden Phillpotts
  • The universe is full of magical things, patiently waiting for our wits to grow sharper. -Eden Phillpotts
  • The urge to gamble is so universal and its practice so pleasurable, that I assume it must be evil. - Heywood Broun
  • The urge to scream tells me I must be at work.
  • The way to do research is to attack the facts at the point of greatest astonishment. - Celia Green
  • The way to get on with a cat is to treat it as an equal - or even better, as the superior it knows itself to be. - Elizabeth Peters
  • The way we communicate with others and with ourselves ultimately determines the quality of our lives. -Anthony Robbins
  • The way you see people is the way you treat them. And the way you treat them is what they become. (Johann W. Von Goeth)
  • The weakest Christians are those who know that they need to pray . . . and yet don't pray.
  • The wheel that squeaks the loudest is the one that gets the grease. - Josh Billings
  • The whole of science is nothing more than a refinement of everyday thinking. -Albert Einstein
  • The will to win is important, but the will to prepare is vital.
  • The willingness to accept responsibility for one's own life is the source from which self-respect springs. - Joan Didion
  • The willow knows what the storm does not; the power to endure harm outlives the power to inflict it.
  • The winning team has a dedication. It will have a core of veteran players who set the standards. They will not accept defeat. -Merlin Olsen
  • The wise learn many things from their enemies. -Aristophanes
  • The word listen contains the same letters as the word silent.
  • The world is a looking glass and gives back to every man the reflection of his own face. -William M. Thackeray
  • The world is a stage and most of us are desperately unrehearsed. (Sean O'Casey)
  • The world is full of willing people. Some willing to work, the rest willing to let them. (Robert Frost)
  • The world is like a beehive: We all enter by the same door but we live in different cells.
  • The world is round and the place which may seem like the end may also be only the beginning. -Ivy Baker
  • The world is so fast that there are days when the person who says it can't be done is interrupted by the person who is doing it.
  • The world is wide, and I will not waste my life in friction when it could be turned into momentum. -Frances Willard
  • The world may be your oyster, but it doesn't mean you'll get its pearl.
  • The world was not given to us by our parents, it was lent to us by our children!
  • The world will end in five minutes. Please log out.
  • The wrongdoer is more unfortunate than the man wronged. -Democritus
  • The years teach much which the days never knew. -Ralph Waldo Emerson
  • Theists think all gods but theirs are false. Atheists simply don't make an exception for the last one.

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