Tweet Messages Page 1

  • (I'm all over that)...like a fly on shit.
  • (Logicians do it) or [not (logicians do it)].
  • ------ If you cut here, you'll probably destroy your monitor ------
  • 0 to bitch in 3.6 seconds.
  • 100,000 Lemmings can't be wrong!
  • 11th commandment - Covet not thy neighbor's Pentium.
  • 1st Cannibal: I don't know what to make of my boyfriend these days. 2nd Cannibal: How about a hotpot?
  • 1st vampire: How things? 2nd vampire: Terrible! Today I received a letter saying I'm overdrawn by 50 pints at the blood bank.
  • 2 + 2 = 5 for extremely large values of 2.
  • 2400 Baud makes you want to get out and push!!
  • 3 nails + 1 cross = 4 given.
  • 32% of those who own their own home, also own at least one cat.
  • 5 days a week my body is a temple. The other two, it's an amusement park.
  • 51% angel, 49% bitch and 10% mathematician!
  • 640K ought to be enough for anybody. - Bill Gates
  • 667 Neighbour of the Beast.
  • A Cats eyes have a layer of extra reflecting cells which absorb light.
  • A Life? Cool! Where can I download one of those from?
  • A Skeleton walks into a bar, asks for a beer. . . and a mop.
  • A Toledo man was admitted to the city hospital last night with severe burns after dunking for French fries at a Halloween party.
  • A baby's life begins at conception, yours ends when you knock up my daughter.
  • A bad day of fishing beats a good day of working.
  • A bag of cats - A bad-tempered person, such as: She's a real bag of cats this afternoon.
  • A bargain is something you don't need at a price you can't resist.
  • A better world shall emerge based on faith and understanding. -Douglas MacArthur
  • A big black bug bit a big black bear and made the big black bear bleed blood.
  • A big black bug bit a big black bear and the big black bear bled blood
  • A bird doesn't sing because it has an answer, it sings because it has a song. -Maya Angelou
  • A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.
  • A black bloke's back brake-block broke.
  • A blank helpless sort of face, rather like a rose just before you drench it with D.D.T. - John Carey
  • A blind bargain. - Unattributed Author
  • A bloke's bike back brake block broke.
  • A blond in a red dress can do without introductions - but not without a bodyguard. - Rona Jaffe
  • A blonde opened a hair salon next to a graveyard and named it 'Curl Up and Dye. '
  • A blonde tried to blow up her husband's car, but burned her lips on the tailpipe.
  • A blonde was swimming. She swam deeper and deeper until she drowned. Her husband came home and found her dead in the bathtub.
  • A boy becomes an adult three years before his parents think he does, and about two years after he thinks he does. -Lewis B Hershey
  • A bug in the code is worth two in the documentation.
  • A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.
  • A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a Train stops On my desk, I have a work station..
  • A business that makes nothing but money is a poor kind of business. -Henry Ford
  • A candidate is someone who gets money from the rich and votes from the poor to protect them from each other.
  • A careless word may kindle strife. A cruel word may wreck a life. A timely word may level stress. A loving word may heal and bless.
  • A cat can see in color.
  • A cat come back to full alertness from the sleep state faster than any other creature.
  • A cat diet lacking arginine causes marked weight loss and can be rapidly fatal.
  • A cat does not need to have at least 1 litter to be healthy, nor will they miss motherhood.
  • A cat has a layer of extra reflecting cells which absorb light.
  • A cat is a friend who will never betray you.
  • A cat is all love and energy...
  • A cat is an extension of God.
  • A cat is domestic only as far as it suits its own ends.
  • A cat is easier to train than a man
  • A cat is nobody's fool.
  • A cat sleeps fat, yet walks thin.
  • A cat stretches from one end of my childhood to the other.
  • A cat that bites you after you have rubbed his stomach, is probably biting out of pleasure, not anger.
  • A cat will amost never meow at another cat. This sound is reserved for hoomans.
  • A cat will be your friend, but never your slave. - Theophile Gautier
  • A cat will tremble or shiver when it is in extreme pain.
  • A cat would be man's best friend, but never stoops to it.
  • A cat, by any other name, is still a sneaky little furball that barfs on the furniture.
  • A cats hearing is much more sensitive than hoomans and dogs.
  • A cats normal pulse is 140-240 beats per minute, with an average of 195.
  • A cats pulse is between 130 - 240 beats per minute.
  • A cats purr is the rumble of peace in the animal kingdom.
  • A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized. -Fred Allen
  • A celebrity is someone who works hard all his life to become known and then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognised.
  • A cement mixer collided with a prison van on the Kingston Bypass. Motorists are asked to be on the lookout for 16 hardened criminals.
  • A certain amount of opposition is of great help to a man. Kites rise against, not with the wind. -John Neal
  • A chain is only as strong as it's weakest link.
  • A cheshire-cat smile.
  • A child must learn early to believe that she is somebody worthwhile, and that she can do many praiseworthy things. -Benjamin Mays
  • A child will perform from their mind for their coach/teacher, but for a parent they perform from their heart.
  • A circle is a round straight line with a hole in the middle.
  • A clean tie attracts the soup of the day.
  • A closed mind is a good thing to lose.
  • A collar and tag can help your cat find his way home should he ever be lost. BETTER = electronic ID chip
  • A college friend was going to meet a young lady he new. An old flame? I asked. He winked and said, More like an unlit match.
  • A complex system that does not work is invariably found to have evolved from a simpler system that worked just fine.
  • A compliment is like a kiss through a veil. - Victor Hugo
  • A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
  • A computer program will always do what you tell it to do, but rarely what you want to do.
  • A computer's attention span is as long as its power cord.
  • A conclusion is simply the place where you got tired of thinking.
  • A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
  • A crisis is when you can't say: "let's forget the whole thing".
  • A cruel word may wreck a life.
  • A cult is a religion with no political power. -Tom Wolfe
  • A cup of proper coffee in a copper coffee cup.
  • A day without sunshine is like, night.
  • A difference, to be a difference, must make a difference. -James Farr
  • A different world cannot be built by indifferent people. -Peter Marshall
  • A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age.
  • A diplomatic husband said to his wife, "How do you expect me to remember your birthday when you never look any older?".
  • A dirty mind is a wonderful thing!
  • A disbelief in God does not result in a belief in nothing; disbelief in God usually results in a belief in anything.
  • A dog is a dog, but a cat is a purrson.
  • A dollar won is twice as sweet as a dollar earned. - Paul Newman, The Color of Money
  • A domestic cats sense of smell is about fourteen times as strong as a hooman's.
  • A dozen dim ding-dongs.
  • A face without freckles is like a sky without stars.
  • A failure establishes only this, that our determination to succeed was not strong enough. -John Christian Bovee
  • A fair face may fade, but a beautiful soul last forever.
  • A farmer learns more from a bad harvest than a good one.
  • A father is someone who carries pictures where his money used to be.
  • A favorite has no friend! - Thomas Gray
  • A female cat will be pregnant for approximately 9 weeks - between 62 and 65 days from conception to delivery.
  • A female cats heat periods last about 4 to 7 days every two weeks usually from January/Feburary through October.
  • A fish walks into a bar, the bartender asks, What would you like? the fish says holding his neck, Water.
  • A flight attendant is to save your ass, not to kiss it!
  • A friend got some vinegar in his ear, now he suffers from pickled hearing.
  • A friend is a person before whom I may think aloud. -Ralph Waldo Emerson
  • A friend is a present you give yourself. -Robert Louis Stevenson
  • A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words. -Unknown
  • A friend is someone who thinks you're a good egg even though you're slightly cracked.
  • A friend may well be reckoned the masterpiece of nature. -Ralph Waldo Emerson
  • A friendship is one soul living in two bodies. -Unknown Author
  • A full boat. (referring to a full house in poker).
  • A general calls a colonel:- Do you have a couple of smart majors? - Yes I do. - Send them to me. I need to move my furniture around.
  • A girl phoned me and said...Come on over there's nobody home. I went over... Nobody was home!
  • A goal is a dream with a deadline. -Napoleon Hill
  • A good book contains more real wealth than a good bank.
  • A good composer does not imitate; he steals. - Igor Stravinsky
  • A good day is when the shit hits the fan and I have time to duck.
  • A good example is the best sermon.
  • A good girl is Good, but I'm even Better!
  • A good heart is hard to find.
  • A good manager is a man who isn't worried about his own career but rather the careers of those who work for him.
  • A good marriage is like a casserole: only those involved actually know what goes into it.
  • A good name, like good will, is got by many actions and lost by one. -Lord Jeffrey
  • A good plan is like a road map: it shows the final destination and usually the best way to get there. -H. Stanley Judd
  • A good school is a community where children learn to live first and foremost as children and not as future adults.
  • A great man will not trample upon a worm, nor sneak to an emperor.
  • A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices. (William James)
  • A great pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do. -Walter Bagehot
  • A group of cats is called a clowder.
  • A group of kittens is called a kindle.
  • A group of mountain climbers once heard Father Christmas go past. They must have had sharp ears! They were mountain-ears!
  • A happy person is not a person in a certain set of circumstances, but rather a person with a certain set of attitudes.
  • A happy person is one whose arithmetic is at its best when they is counting their blessings.
  • A hard thing about business is minding your own.
  • A hearty laugh gives one a dry cleaning, while a good cry is a wet wash.
  • A heat period lasts about 4 to 7 days if the female cat is bred; if not, the heat period lasts longer and recurs at regular intervals.
  • A hole big enough to drive a truck through (football).
  • A hole is nothing at all, but you can break your neck in it.
  • A homely face and no figure have aided many women heavenward. -Minna Antrim
  • A hug combats depression, makes you beam and elevates your self esteem.
  • A hug has no monthly payments and no fees.
  • A hug has no moving parts, no batteries.
  • A hug is, I think, the perfect drug.
  • A human being is a deciding being. -Victor Frankl
  • A human being's first responsibility is to shake hands with himself. -Henry Winkler
  • A hunch is creativity trying to tell you something. -Frank Capra
  • A husband is the medicine that cures all the ills of girlhood.
  • A judge is a law student who marks their own examination papers.
  • A jury consists of twelve people chosen to decide who has the best lawyer.
  • A kitten is chiefly remarkable for rushing about like mad at nothing whatever and generally stopping before it gets there - Agnes Repplier
  • A knock-down argument; 'tis but a word and a blow. - John Dryden
  • A large percentage of cats are infected with the parisite that causes toxoplasmosis.
  • A lasting marriage consists of the 3 C's; Commitment, Communication, Compromise. (Lilly)
  • A leader is best when people barely know he exists, when his work is done, his aim fulfilled, they will say: We did it ourselves.
  • A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable but more useful than a life spent doing nothing. -George Bernard Shaw
  • A little government and a little luck are necessary in life; but only a fool trusts either of them. - P.J. O'Rourke
  • A long dispute means that both parties are wrong.
  • A long life may not be good enough, but a good life is long enough. (Benjamin Franklin)
  • A lost ounce of gold may be found, a lost moment of time never.
  • A lot of professionals are crackpots
  • A lump of red leather, a red leather lump
  • A mainframe: The biggest PC peripheral available.
  • A man can do all things if he but wills them. -Leon Battista Alberti
  • A man deep-wounded may feel too much pain To feel much anger. - George Eliot (pseudonym of Mary Ann Evans Cross)
  • A man dies still if he has done nothing, as one who has done much. -Homer
  • A man full of courage is also full of faith. -Cicero
  • A man is a worker. If he is not that he is nothing. -Joseph Conrad
  • A man is as old as the woman he feels.
  • A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he's finished.
  • A man is not where he lives, but where he loves.
  • A man makes inferiors his superiors by heat; self control is the rule. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
  • A man may fail many times, but he isn't a failure until he begins to blame somebody else. -John Burroughs
  • A man must be big enough to admit his mistakes, smart enough to profit from them, and strong enough to correct them. -John C. Maxwell
  • A man once asked Gandhi what he thought of western civilization. Ghandi replied, 'I think it would be a good idea. '
  • A man who dares to waste one hour of life has not discovered the value of life. -Charles Darwin
  • A man who lives in a glass house should change in basement.
  • A man who lives in a glass house shouldn't throw stones.
  • A man who thinks he is smarter than his wife, has a very smart wife!
  • A man who trims himself to suit everybody will soon whittle himself away. -Charles Schwab
  • A man who wants to lead the orchestra must turn his back on the crowd. -James Crook
  • A man who won't die for something is not fit to live. -Martin Luther King, Jr.
  • A man with a watch knows what time it is. ... A man with two watches is never sure.
  • A man with one watch knows what time it is. A man with two watches is never sure.
  • A man's health can be judged by which he takes two at a time - pills or stairs.
  • A man, as a general rule, owes very little to what he is born with - a man is what he makes himself.
  • A mask of gold hides all deformities. - Thomas Dekker
  • A mediocre idea that generates enthusiasm will go further than a great idea that inspires no one. -Mary Kay Ash
  • A meeting between two people who complete each other, who are made for each other, borders already, in my opinion, on a miracle. - Adolf Hitler
  • A meow massages the heart. - Stuart McMillan
  • A mind at peace, a mind centered and not focused on harming others, is stronger than any physical force in the universe. -Wayne Dyer
  • A mind, like a home, is furnished by its owner, so if one's life is cold and bare he can blame none but himself.
  • A minute's success pays the failure for years. -Robert Browning
  • A missing mixture measure.
  • A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep when you hit the snooze button.
  • A neurotic is a man who builds a castle in the sky. A phychotic is the man who lives in it. And a psychiatrist collects the rent.
  • A note left for a pianist from his wife: "Gone Chopin, have Liszt, Bach in a Minuet."
  • A pat on the back is only a few vertebrae removed from a kick in the pants, but is miles ahead in results. -Ella Wheeler Wilcox
  • A penny for your thoughts, a dollar if you flash me.
  • A penny saved is a penny earned, and a penny spent, is a penny enjoyed.
  • A penny saved is a penny saved.
  • A people that values its privileges above its principles soon loses both. -Dwight D. Eisenhower
  • A person is grown up not when they can take care of themselves, but when they can take care of others.
  • A person of intellect without energy added to it, is a failure. -Sebastien-Roch Nicolas De Chamfort
  • A person shows what he is by what he does with what he has. -Unknown Author
  • A person who makes no mistakes, generally makes nothing.
  • A person will sometimes devote all his life to the development of one part of his body; the wishbone. -Robert Frost
  • A persons character is but half formed until after wedlock. -C. Simmons
  • A pessimist fears this is true.
  • A pessimist is someone who looks at the land of milk and honey and sees only calories and cholesterol.
  • A pessimistic pest exists amidst us.
  • A phone call costs less than you think. Soon it'll cost more than you believe.
  • A physician can bury his mistakes, an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines. (Frank Lloyd Wright)
  • A pig's favorite movie: The Monster That Ate New York.
  • A pile of rocks ceases to be a rock when somebody contemplates it with the idea of a cathedral in mind. -Saint Exupery
  • A plan is a list of actions arranged in whatever sequence is thought likely to achieve an objective. -John Argenti
  • A politician is a person who can make waves and then make you think they are the only one who can save the ship.
  • A politician will find an excuse to get out of anything, except office.
  • A poor report card has one good thing in its favor: at least you know the student is not cheating.
  • A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort. -Herm Albright
  • A positive attitude means all the difference in the world
  • A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light
  • A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light.
  • A proper cup of coffee from a proper copper coffee pot.
  • A real decision is measured by the fact that you've taken a new action. If there's no action, you haven't truly decided. -Anthony Robbins
  • A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out. -Walter Winchell
  • A red lead lump.
  • A religion that is small enough for us to understand would not be large enough for our needs.
  • A rose by any other name is still a rose.
  • A rose can say I Love You. . . orchids can enthrall. . . but a weed bouquet in a chubby fist. . . OH MY that says it all!
  • A rose can say I Love You. . . orchids can enthrall. . .but a weed bouquet in a chubby fist. . . OH MY that says it all!
  • A rumor is as hard to unspread as butter.
  • A rumor without a leg to stand on will get around some other way. - John Tudor
  • A sad Texan once prayed, "Lord, I wish you would make it rain - not so much for me, I've seen it - but for my 7-year-old."
  • A scholar who cherishes the love of comfort is not fit to be deemed a scholar. - Lao-tzu
  • A science is any discipline in which the fool of this generation can go beyond the point reached by the genius of the last generation.
  • A seven day honeymoon makes one weak.
  • A sharp tongue and a dull mind are usually found in the same head.
  • A ship in harbor is safe, but that is not what ships are built for.
  • A ship in harbor is safe, but that's not why ships are built. -John Shedd
  • A shot glass of desire is greater than a pitcher of talent. -Andy Munthe
  • A signature always reveals a man's character... and sometimes even his name.
  • A single event can have infinitely many interpretations
  • A six pack to you is just a six pack... To me its life support!
  • A smart husband buys his wife very fine china so she won't trust him to wash it.
  • A smile on your face can be felt on anothers heart.
  • A song will outlive all sermons in the memory. -Henry Giles
  • A stallion and a mare where due to get married, but the stallion didn't show up at the church. He got colt feet
  • A strong sense of duty can imprison you
  • A successful team is a group of many hands but of one mind. -Bill Bethel
  • A sure thing is no fun. -Chico Marx
  • A teacher affects eternity; he can never tell where his influence stops.
  • A thick skin is a gift from God. -Konrad Adenauer
  • A thing not worth doing isn't worth doing well.
  • A timid person is frightened before a danger, a coward during the time, and a courageous person afterwards. -Paul Richter
  • A tree growing out of the ground is as wonderful today as it ever was. It does not need to adopt new and startling methods. - Robert Henri
  • A tree never hits an automobile except in self-defense.
  • A trooper asks a sergeant:- Is it true that man descended from a monkey? - Yes, troopers possibly were. But not sergeants.
  • A true friend reaches for your hand and touches your heart.
  • A truly creative person rids him or herself of all self-imposed limitations. -Gerald G Jampolsky
  • A truth spoken before its time is dangerous.
  • A user friendly computer first requires a friendly user.
  • A user will find any interface design intuitive...with enough practice.
  • A vibration is a motion that can't make up its mind which way it wants to go.
  • A wager is a fool's argument.
  • A weed is a plant whose virtues have not yet been discovered. -Ralph Waldo Emerson
  • A weekend in Vegas without gambling and drinking is just like being a born-again Christian. - Artie Lange
  • A weird thing about humans is we work till we're sick to get a fortune, then pay a fortune to get well again.
  • A window of opportunity won't open itself. -Dave Weinbaum
  • A wise enemy is still safer than a fool friend.
  • A wise man may look ridiculous in the company of fools. (Thomas Fuller)
  • A wise man thinks what is easy is difficult. - John Churton Collins
  • A wise man will make more opportunities than he finds.
  • A wise man will make more opportunities than he finds. -Francis Bacon
  • A wise old owl sat on an oak, The more he saw the less he spoke; The less he spoke the more he heard; Why aren't we like that wise old bird?
  • A wise person has something to say, a fool has to say something.
  • A woman in love can't be reasonable - or she probably wouldn't be in love. - Mae West
  • A woman is like a tea bag... you don't know how strong she is until you put her in hot water.
  • A woman of 35 thinks of having children. What does a man of 35 think of? Dating children.
  • A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle.
  • A woman's rule of thumb: If it has tires or testicles, you're going to have trouble with it.
  • A word of encouragement during a failure is worth more than an hour of praise after success. -Anonymous
  • A world without war; a dream to some, a nightmare to the arms manufacturers.
  • A young child is a noise with dirt on it.
  • A young person knows the rules but the old person knows the exceptions.
  • A. C. Benson~ As I make my slow pilgrimage through the world a certain sense of beautiful mystery seems to gather and grow.
  • A. E. Housman~ In every American there is an air of incorrigible innocence which seems to conceal a diabolical cunning.
  • A. J. Muste~ There is no way to peace peace is the way.
  • A. L. Prusick~ It may be that we have all lived before and died and this is hell.
  • A. W. Tozer~ The widest thing in the universe is not space it is the potential capacity of the human heart.
  • ADAM AND EVE VIRUS: Takes a couple bytes out of your Apple.
  • ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI.
  • Aaron Burr~ Never do today what you can put off till tomorrow. Delay may give clearer light as to what is best to be done.
  • Abandon hope, all ye who enter here.
  • Abbe DAllanival~ The more alternatives the more difficult the choice.
  • Abigail Adams~ We have too many high sounding words and too few actions that correspond with them.
  • Abigail Van Buren~ It is true that I was born in Iowa but I cant speak for my twin sister.
  • Ability is what you're capable of doing. Motivation determines what you do. Attitude determines how well you do it.
  • Ability is what you're capable of doing...Motivation determines what you do...Attitude determines how well you do it.
  • Abolish mornings!
  • Abortion doesn't make you unpregnant, it makes you the mother of a dead child!
  • Abraham J. Herschel~ Life is not meaningful to us unless serving an end beyond itself unless it is of value to someone else.
  • Abraham Joshua Heschel~ Just to be is a blessing. Just to live is holy.
  • Abraham Lincoln~ Am I not destroying my enemies when I make friends of them
  • Abraham Lincoln~ As I would not be a slave so I would not be a master. This expresses my idea of democracy.
  • Abraham Lincoln~ He can compress the most words into the smallest ideas of any man I ever met.
  • Abraham Lincoln~ I dont know who my grandfather was I am much more concerned to know what his grandson will be.
  • Abraham Lincoln~ I have always found that mercy bears richer fruits than strict justice.
  • Abraham Lincoln~ I remember my mothers prayers and they have always followed me. They have clung to me all my life.
  • Abraham Lincoln~ I will study and get ready and perhaps my chance will come.
  • Abraham Lincoln~ If this is coffee please bring me some tea but if this is tea please bring me some coffee.
  • Abraham Lincoln~ It has been my experience that folks who have no vices have very few virtues.
  • Abraham Lincoln~ Lets have faith that right makes might and in that faith let us to the end dare to do our duty as we understand it.
  • Abraham Lincoln~ Nearly all men can stand adversity but if you want to test a mans character give him power.
  • Abraham Lincoln~ People are just as happy as they make up their minds to be.
  • Abraham Lincoln~ People who like this sort of thing will find this the sort of thing they like.
  • Abraham Lincoln~ Quarrel not at all. No man resolved to make the most of himself can spare time for personal contention.
  • Abraham Lincoln~ Tis better to be silent and be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt.
  • Abraham Lincoln~ Truth is generally the best vindication against slander.
  • Abraham Lincoln~ When you have got an elephant by the hind leg and he is trying to run away its best to let him run.
  • Abraham Lincoln~ You cannot escape the responsibility of tomorrow by evading it today.
  • Abraham Maslow~ If the only tool you have is a hammer you tend to see every problem as a nail.
  • Absolute zero is Cool.
  • Accept responsibility for your life. Know that it is you who will get you where you want to go, no one else. -Les Brown
  • Acceptance of what has happened is the first step to overcoming the consequences of any misfortune. (William James)
  • According to my calculations the problem doesn't exist.
  • According to myth, a cat sleeping with all four paws tucked under means cold weather is coming.
  • Accountability breeds response-ability. -Stephen R. Covey
  • Accuracy of statement is one of the first elements of truth; inaccuracy is a near kin to falsehood. - Tryon Edwards
  • Ace is not good, Ace is God. - William Wigstrom
  • Aces are larger than life and greater than mountains - Mike Caro
  • Aches and Pains by Arthur Ritis
  • Achievement is largely the product of steadily raising one's levels of aspiration and expectation.
  • Acquaintance: a person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to.
  • Act like you expect to get into the end zone. -Joe Paterno
  • Act the part and you will become the part. -William James
  • Acting on a good idea is better than just having a good idea. -Robert Half
  • Action is the product of the qualities inherent in nature. - Bhagavadgita
  • Action may not always be happiness, but there is no happiness without action.
  • Action springs not from thought, but from a readiness for responsibility. - Dietrich Bonhoeffer
  • Adam De LIsle~ I have thought too much to stoop to action.
  • Adam R. Gwizdala~ If you go with the flow youll eventually end up over the waterfall.
  • Adam Smith~ On the road from the City of Skepticism I had to pass through the Valley of Ambiguity. (Powers of Mind )
  • Adam and Eve were the first people on earth............Did they have belly buttons?
  • Addison Walker~ Its not true that nice guys finish last. Nice guys are winners before the game even starts.
  • Adel Bestavros~ Patience with others is Love Patience with self is Hope Patience with God is Faith.
  • Adelle Davis~ We are indeed much more than what we eat but what we eat can nevertheless help us to be much more than what we are.
  • Adlai E. Jr. Stevenson~ I believe in the forgiveness of sin and the redemption of ignorance.
  • Adlai E. Jr. Stevenson~ Man does not live by words alone despite the fact that sometimes he has to eat them.
  • Adlai E. Jr. Stevenson~ Words calculated to catch everyone may catch no one.
  • Adlai Ewing Stevenson~ All progress has resulted from people who took unpopular positions.
  • Adlai Ewing Stevenson~ Flattery is all right so long as you dont inhale.
  • Adlai Ewing Stevenson~ Let us talk sense to the American people. Let us tell them the truth that there are no gains without pains.
  • Admit your errors before someone else exaggerates them. ~Andrew V. Mason
  • Adolescence and snow are the only problems that disappear if you ignore them long enough.
  • Adrienne E. Gusoff~ Things could always be worse for instance you could be ugly and work in the Post Office.
  • Adrienne Rich~ Lying is done with words and also with silence.
  • Adventure is not outside man; it is within. -David Grayson
  • Adversity doesnt build character, it reveals it.
  • Adversity has the effect of eliciting talents, which, in prosperous circumstances, would have lain dormant. -Horace
  • Adversity is the diamond dust Heaven polishes its jewels with. - Robert Leighton
  • Advice is free: The right answer will cost plenty.
  • Advice: the smallest current coin. - Ambrose Bierce
  • Aerodynamically, the bumble bee shouldn't be able to fly, but the bumble bee doesn't know it so it goes on flying anyway. -Mary Kay Ash
  • Aeschylus~ Death is better a milder fate than tyranny.
  • Aeschylus~ Exiles feed on hope.
  • Aeschylus~ For somehow this is tyrannys disease to trust no friends.
  • Aeschylus~ Sweet is a grief well ended.
  • Aeschylus~ The wisest of the wise may err.
  • Aeschylus~ Words are the physicians of the mind diseased.
  • Aesop~ A liar will not be believed even when he speaks the truth.
  • Aesop~ Affairs are easier of entrance than of exit and it is but common prudence to see our way out before we venture in.
  • Aesop~ Appearances often are deceiving.
  • Aesop~ Better be wise by the misfortunes of others than by your own.
  • Aesop~ Faithful are the wounds of a friend but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.
  • Aesop~ I am sure the grapes are sour.
  • Aesop~ I will have nought to do with a man who can blow hot and cold with the same breath.
  • Aesop~ In critical moments even the very powerful have need of the weakest.
  • Aesop~ It is easy to despise what you cannot get.
  • Aesop~ Men often applaud an imitation and hiss the real thing.
  • Aesop~ No act of kindness no matter how small is ever wasted.
  • Aesop~ Outside show is a poor substitute for inner worth.
  • Aesop~ People often grudge others what they cannot enjoy themselves.
  • Aesop~ Plodding wins the race.
  • Aesop~ Put your shoulder to the wheel.
  • Aesop~ Slow and steady wins the race.
  • Aesop~ There is always someone worse off than yourself.
  • Aesop~ Union gives strength.
  • Aesop~ We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office.
  • Affection is responsible for nine-tenths of whatever solid and durable happiness there is in our lives. (C.S. Lewis)
  • After 2 weeks the kittens eyes will be open, but still cloudy and their defensive hiss will be gone.
  • After Perl everything else is just assembly language.
  • After all is said and done, more is said than done.
  • After all this is over, all that will really have mattered is how we treated each other. Thanks to Mike Doherty -Unknown. - Unknown
  • After mating, the female cat will wash her vulva thoroughly. If a male attempts to breed with her at this point, the female will attack him.
  • After the government takes enough to balance the budget, the taxpayer has the job of budgeting the balance.
  • After the rain comes a rainbow.
  • After the verb 'to Love,' 'to Help' is the most beautiful verb in the world. -Bertha Von Suttner
  • Agatha Christie~ If one sticks too rigidly to ones principles one would hardly see anybody.
  • Age is a matter of feeling...not of years. -George William Curtis
  • Age is a question of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter. (Satchel Paige)
  • Agnes Repplier~ We cannot really love anybody with whom we never laugh.
  • Agnes Thornton~ Only a weak mind seeks ultimate answers.
  • Agnes de Mille~ No trumpets sound when the important decisions of our life are made. Destiny is made known silently.
  • Ah shucks, six stick shifts stuck shut!
  • Ah, I'm sorry sir, the cats eaten it.
  • Aharon Appelfeld~ People who lose their parents when young are permanently in love with them.
  • Ahhhh... good to the last drop!
  • Aim for the top. There is plenty of room there. There are so few at the top it is almost lonely there.
  • Ain't goin' down 'till the sun comes up!
  • Airplane~ Jive Lady Just hang loose blood. She gonna handa your rebound on the med side.
  • Al Capone~ I have built my organization upon fear.
  • Al Capone~ Ive been accused of every death except the casualty list of the World War.
  • Al Capone~ My rackets are run on strictly American lines and theyre going to stay that way.
  • Al Capp~ Abstract art is a product of the untalented sold by the unprincipled to the utterly bewildered.
  • Al McGuire~ I think the world is run by C students.
  • Alan Alexander Milne~ My spelling is Wobbly. Its good spelling but it Wobbles and the letters get in the wrong places.
  • Alan Alexander Milne~ We cant all and some of us dont. Thats all there is to it.
  • Alan B. Watts~ But my dear man reality is only a Rorschach ink-blot you know.
  • Alan Greenspan~ How do we know when irrational exuberance has unduly escalated asset values
  • Alan Greenspan~ I know that you think you know what I said. But Im not sure whether you understood that what you heard is what I meant.
  • Alan John Percivale Taylor~ There is nothing more agreeable in life than to make peace with the establishment and nothing more corrupting.
  • Alan Kay~ The best way to predict the future is to invent it.
  • Alanis Morissette~ I see my body as an instrument rather than an ornament.
  • Alanis Morissette~ What I have to say is far more important than how long my eyelashes are.
  • Alben William Barkley~ The best audience is intelligent well-educated and a little drunk.
  • Albert Camus~ Dont walk behind me I may not lead. Dont walk in front of me I may not follow. Just walk beside me and be my friend.
  • Albert Camus~ Every revolutionary ends up either by becoming an oppressor or a heretic.
  • Albert Camus~ I love my country too much to be a nationalist.
  • Albert Camus~ In the depths of winter I finally learned there was in me an invincible summer.
  • Albert Camus~ Its a kind of spiritual snobbery that makes people think they can be happy without money.
  • Albert Camus~ Nothing is more despicable than respect based on fear.
  • Albert Camus~ Real generosity toward the future consists in giving all to what is present.
  • Albert Camus~ The absurd is born of the confrontation between the human call and the unreasonable silence of the world.
  • Albert Camus~ The need to be right - the sign of a vulgar mind.
  • Albert Camus~ Too many have dispensed with generosity in order to practice charity.
  • Albert Camus~ You cannot acquire experience by making experiments. You cannot create experience. You must undergo it.
  • Albert Einstein~ A person starts to live when he can live outside himself.
  • Albert Einstein~ Do not worry about your difficulties in Mathematics. I can assure you mine are still greater.
  • Albert Einstein~ Everything that is really great and inspiring is created by the individual who can labor in freedom.
  • Albert Einstein~ God does not care about our mathematical difficulties. He integrates empirically.
  • Albert Einstein~ He who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe is as good as dead his eyes are closed.
  • Albert Einstein~ I dont know what will be used in the next world war but the th will be fought with stones.
  • Albert Einstein~ I have become rather like King Midas except that everything turns not into gold but into a circus.
  • Albert Einstein~ If A is success in life then A equals x plus y plus z. Work is x y is play and z is keeping your mouth shut.
  • Albert Einstein~ If I had only known I would have been a locksmith.
  • Albert Einstein~ If people are good only because they fear punishment and hope for reward then we are a sorry lot indeed.
  • Albert Einstein~ If you are out to describe the truth leave elegance to the tailor.
  • Albert Einstein~ Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world.
  • Albert Einstein~ Insanity doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
  • Albert Einstein~ It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has exceeded our humanity.
  • Albert Einstein~ It is only to the individual that a soul is given.
  • Albert Einstein~ It is the theory that decides what we can observe.
  • Albert Einstein~ Let every man be respected as an individual and no man idolized.
  • Albert Einstein~ Make everything as simple as possible but not simpler.
  • Albert Einstein~ No amount of experimentation can ever prove me right a single experiment can prove me wrong.
  • Albert Einstein~ Not everything that can be counted counts and not everything that counts can be counted.
  • Albert Einstein~ The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.
  • Albert Einstein~ The eternal mystery of the world is its comprehensibility.
  • Albert Einstein~ The highest destiny of the individual is to serve rather than to rule.
  • Albert Einstein~ The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing.
  • Albert Einstein~ The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and science.
  • Albert Einstein~ The most incomprehensible thing about the world is that it is at all comprehensible.
  • Albert Einstein~ The only real valuable thing is intuition.
  • Albert Einstein~ The only thing that interferes with my learning is my education.
  • Albert Einstein~ The pursuit of truth and beauty is a sphere of activity in which we are permitted to remain children all our lives.
  • Albert Einstein~ The true measure of a man is the degree to which he has managed to subjugate his ego.
  • Albert Einstein~ There is an atmosphere of well-sounding oratory that likes to attach itself to dress clothes. Away with it
  • Albert Einstein~ Those people have seen something. What it is I do not know and I can not care to know. (on flying saucers)
  • Albert Einstein~ True art is characterized by an irresistible urge in the creative artist.
  • Albert Einstein~ We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.
  • Albert Einstein~ We still do not know one thousandth of one percent of what nature has revealed to us.
  • Albert Ellis~ The art of love ... is largely the art of persistence.
  • Albert Guinon~ When everyone is against you it means that you are absolutely wrong - or absolutely right.
  • Albert Pike~ A Human Thought is an actual Existence and a Force and Power capable of acting upon and controlling matter as well as mind.
  • Albert Pike~ What we have done for ourselves alone dies with us what we have done for others and the world remains and is immortal.
  • Albert Schweitzer~ Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory.
  • Albert Schweitzer~ Life becomes harder for us when we live for others but it also becomes richer and happier.
  • Albert Schweitzer~ Reverence for life affords me my fundamental principle of morality.
  • Albert Schweitzer~ The African is my brother-but he is my younger brother by several centuries.
  • Albert Schweitzer~ Until he extends his circle of compassion to include all living things man will not himself find peace.
  • Albert von Szent-Gyorgyi~ A discovery is said to be an accident meeting a prepared mind.
  • Aldous Huxley~ An intellectual is a person who has discovered something more interesting than sex.
  • Aldous Huxley~ Consistency is contrary to nature contrary to life. The only completely consistent people are dead.
  • Aldous Huxley~ It is the customary fate of new truths to begin as heresies and to end as superstitions.
  • Aldous Huxley~ Maybe this world is another planets hell.
  • Aldous Huxley~ Technological progress has merely provided us with more efficient means for going backwards.
  • Aldous Huxley~ That all men are equal is a proposition which at ordinary times no sane individual has ever given his assent.
  • Aldous Huxley~ The author of the Iliad is either Homer or if not Homer somebody else of the same name.
  • Aldous Huxley~ Words form the thread on which we string our experiences.
  • Aldous Huxley~ You shall know the truth and the truth shall make you mad.
  • Aldus Manutius~ Talk of nothing but business and dispatch that business quickly.
  • Aleksandr Isayevich Solzhenitsyn~ It is easier to be wise for others than for ourselves.
  • Alen Coren~ To have a grievance is to have a purpose in life.
  • Alessandro Pronzato~ The best way not to have people in your way is to let them into your heart.
  • Alexander Hamilton~ Those who stand for nothing fall for anything.
  • Alexander Meigs Haig~ I probably carry more scar tissue on my derrire than any other candidate-thats political scar tissue.
  • Alexander Penney~ The ultimate test of a relationship is to disagree but hold hands.
  • Alexander Pope~ A man should never be ashamed to own he has been wrong which is but saying that he is wiser today than he was yesterday.
  • Alexander Pope~ Be thou the first true merit to befriend his praise is lost who stays till all commend.
  • Alexander Pope~ Histories are more full of examples of the fidelity of dogs than of friends.
  • Alexander Pope~ Know then thyself presume not God to scanThe proper study of Mankind is Man.
  • Alexander Pope~ Wit is the lowest form of humor.
  • Alexander Pope~ Words are like leaves and where they most abound Much fruit of sense beneath is rarely found.
  • Alexander Popov~ I respect everyone. I even respect journalists.
  • Alexander Smith~ Memory is a mans real possession...In nothing else is he rich in nothing else is he poor.
  • Alexander Woollcott~ There is no such thing in anyones life as an unimportant day.
  • Alexandre Dumas~ ...love without esteem cannot go far or reach high. It is an angel with only one wing.
  • Alexandre Dumas~ All generalizations are dangerous even this one.
  • Alexandre Dumas~ Nothing succeeds like success.
  • Alexis Carrel~ All of us at certain moments of our lives need to take advice and to receive help from other people.
  • Alexis Charles Henri Clrel de Tocqueville~ I disapprove of what you say but I will defend to the death your right to say it.
  • Alf Landon~ Wherever I have gone in this country I have found Americans.
  • Alfonso the Wise~ Had I been present at the creation I would have given some useful hints for the better ordering of the universe.
  • Alfred A. Knopf~ An economist is a man who states the obvious in terms of the incomprehensible.
  • Alfred A. Montapert~ Do not confuse motion and progress. A rocking horse keeps moving but does not make any progress.
  • Alfred A. Montapert~ The only calendar I need is just outside my window. With eyes to see and ears to hear nature keeps me posted.
  • Alfred Bernhard Nobel~ Hope is natures veil for hiding truths nakedness.
  • Alfred Hitchcock~ The length of a film should be directly related to the endurance of the human bladder.
  • Alfred Lord Tennyson~ My strength is as the strength of ten Because my heart is pure.
  • Alfred Lord Tennyson~ The greater man the greater courtesy.
  • Alfred Lord Tennyson~ Words like nature half reveal and half conceal the soul within.
  • Alfred North Whitehead~ Almost all really new ideas have a certain aspect of foolishness when they are first produced.
  • Alfred North Whitehead~ Everything of importance has been said before by somebody who did not discover it.
  • Alfred North Whitehead~ Ideas wont keep something must be done about them.
  • Alfred North Whitehead~ Periods of tranquility are seldom prolific of creative achievement. Mankind has to be stirred up.
  • Alfred North Whitehead~ The deepest definition of youth is life as yet untouched by tragedy.
  • Alfred North Whitehead~ We think in generalities but we live in detail.
  • Alfred Victor Vigny~ Every man has seen the wall that limits his mind.
  • Alfred Victor Vigny~ Greatness is the dream of youth realized in old age.
  • Alfred Victor Vigny~ Perform your long and heavy task with energy treading the path to which Fate has been pleased to call you.
  • Algebra was easy for the Romans because "X" was always 10.
  • Algebraists do it in a ring, in fields, in groups.
  • Ali ibn-Abi-Talib~ He who has a thousand friends has not a friend to spare And he who has one enemy will meet him everywhere.
  • Alice Mackenzie Swaim~ Courage is not the towering oak That sees storms come and go It is the fragile blossom That opens in the snow.
  • Alice Walker~ Expect nothing. Live frugally on surprise.
  • Alice Walker~ The most important question in the world is Why is the child crying
  • Alice Walker~ The quietly pacifist peaceful always die to make room for men who shout.
  • Alicia Barnhart~ True love never dies for it is lust that fades away. Love bonds for a lifetime but lust just pushes away.
  • Alienation produces eccentrics or revolutionaries
  • Alighieri Dante~ For what is liberty but the unhampered translation of will into act
  • Alighieri Dante~ Lasciate ogni speranza voi chentrate. (Abandon all hope all ye who enter here)
  • Alimony is having an ex-husband you can bank on.
  • All Aboard! by Abel Seamann
  • All Acts of Love & Pleasure Are My Rituals.
  • All I ask for is the opportunity to prove that money doesn't buy happiness.
  • All I have seen teaches me to trust the Creator for all I have not seen. (Ralph Waldo Emerson)
  • All dogs go to heaven. Cats watch them leave.
  • All extremists should be shot.
  • All glory comes from daring to begin. -Eugene F. Ware
  • All good is hard. All evil is easy. Dying, losing, cheating, and mediocrity is easy. Stay away from easy. -Scott Alexander
  • All great achievements require time. -David J. Schwartz
  • All honor's wounds are self-inflicted. -Andrew Carnegie
  • All kids need is a little help, a little hope and somebody who believes in them. -Earvin Johnson
  • All limits are self imposed. -Icarus
  • All men are Animals! But if you can train them, they make good pets.
  • All men can fly, but sadly, only in one direction -- down.
  • All men who have achieved great things have been great dreamers. -Orison Swett Marden
  • All men's gains are the fruit of venturing. -Herodotus
  • All of this generosity has made me tired. * Cat
  • All of us are God's creatures... just some are more creature than others.
  • All personal breakthroughs begin with a change in beliefs. -Anthony Robbins
  • All programmers are playwrights and all computers are lousy actors. - Anonymous
  • All science is either physics or stamp collecting. -E. Rutherford. - E. Rutherford
  • All sunshine makes a desert.
  • All the other questions... still without an answer...
  • All the so-called "secrets of success" will not work unless you do.
  • All the world is full of suffering. It is also full of overcoming. -Helen Keller
  • All things make sense; you just have to fathom how they make sense. - Piers Anthony
  • All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand.
  • All true wisdom is found on my T-shirts.
  • All truly great thoughts are conceived by walking. -Fredrich Nietzsche
  • All you need is the plan, the road map, and the courage to press on to your destination. -Earl Nightingale
  • Allan Goldfein~ Only exceptionally rational men can afford to be absurd.
  • Allegra Kent~ All we actually have is our body and its muscles that allow us to be under our own power.
  • Allergic reactions to cat dander and/or cat saliva are common.
  • Allow me to introduce my selves.
  • Alma Powell~ I dont want to describe the hate mail weve gotten. (on why she was fearful of her husband running for president)
  • Almost 10% of a cats bones are in its tail, and the tail is used to maintain balance.
  • Alone we can do so little; together we can do so much. -Helen Keller
  • Alsation: How did you find the fleas? Beagle: I didn't! They found me!
  • Although scratching can serve cats to keep their claws from growing excessively long, their nails can be trimmed with a small nail trimmer.
  • Although the world is very full of suffering, it is also full of the overcoming of it. -Helen Keller
  • Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.
  • Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use. (Wendell Johnson)
  • Always be loyal to those who are absent, if you want to retain those who are present.
  • Always be sincere. Even when you don't mean it!
  • Always borrow money from a pessimist, he doesn't expect to be paid back. -Unknown Author
  • Always leave loved ones with loving words, it may be the last time you see them.
  • Always look at the bright side of life.
  • Always look at what you have left. Never look at what you have lost. -Robert H. Schuller
  • Always remember you're unique - just like everyone else.
  • Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
  • Always the beautiful answer who asks a more beautiful question. -E E Cummings
  • Always yield to temptation. It may never pass your way again.
  • Am I indecisive? ... Can I get back to you on that?
  • Am I not destroying my enemies when I make friends of them. -Abraham Lincoln
  • Am I not destroying my enemies when I make friends of them? -Abraham Lincoln
  • Amanda Bradley~ Celebrate the happiness that friends are always giving make every day a holiday and celebrate just living
  • Amanda Cross~ The point of quotations is that one can use anothers words to be insulting.
  • Amanda Medinger~ Feeling passionate about something is like getting a peak at your soul smiling back at you.
  • Amateur Rocket Scientist: My other vehicle is in orbit.
  • Ambition can creep as well as soar. -Edmund Burke
  • Ambition is like love, impatient both of delays and rivals. -Sir John Denham
  • Ambivalence can ruin your life
  • Ambrose Bierce~ Acquaintance n. A person whom we know well enough to borrow from but not well enough to lend to.
  • Ambrose Bierce~ Admiration n. Our polite recognition of anothers resemblance to ourselves.
  • Ambrose Bierce~ Brain an apparatus with which we think we think.
  • Ambrose Bierce~ Cabbage A familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a mans head.
  • Ambrose Bierce~ Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum
  • Ambrose Bierce~ Pray To ask the laws of the universe to be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.
  • Ambrose Bierce~ The covers of this book are too far apart.
  • Ambrose Bierce~ The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling.
  • Ambrose Gwinett Bierce~ Abstainer. A weak man who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.
  • Ambrose Gwinett Bierce~ All are lunatics but he who can analyze his delusions is called a philosopher.
  • Ambrose Gwinett Bierce~ Callous adj. Gifted with great fortitude to bear the evils afflicting another.
  • Ambrose Gwinett Bierce~ Egotist a person more interested in himself than in me.
  • Ambrose Gwinett Bierce~ We know what happens to people who stay in the middle of the road. They get run over.
  • Ambrose Redmoon~ Courage is not the absence of fear but rather the judgement that something else is more important than fear.
  • Amelia Burr~ Because I have loved life I shall have no sorrow to die.
  • Amelia Earhart~ Adventure is worthwhile in itself.
  • America is a land where citizens vote for Democrats but hope to live like Republicans.
  • America! Love it or leave it.
  • America's number one energy crisis is Monday morning. -Unknown Author
  • America's oldest lady was 115 years old today, and she hasn't got a grey hair on her head. How come? She's completely bald.
  • America. Love it or leave it.
  • Amy Lowell~ Art is the desire of a man to express himself to record the reactions of his personality to the world he lives in.
  • Amy Vanderbilt~ The modern rule is that every woman should be her own chaperon.
  • An Apple a day keeps the doctor away. But . . . an onion a day keeps everyone away.
  • An act of God was defined as "something which no reasonable man could have expected.". -A. P. Herbert
  • An adolescent is a person who acts like a baby when they aren't treated like an adult.
  • An adventure is only an inconvenience rightly considered. An inconvenience is only an adventure wrongly considered. -G. K. Chesterton
  • An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if the doctor's cute then forget the fruit!
  • An army of deer led by a lion is more to be feared than an army of lions led by a deer.
  • An artist is not paid for his labor but for his vision. -James McNeill Whistler
  • An entrepreneur tends to bite off a little more than he can chew hoping he'll quickly learn how to chew it. -Roy Ash
  • An erection does not constitute personal growth.
  • An error doesn't become a mistake until you choose to ignore it.
  • An error is the more dangerous the more truth it contains. - Henri-frederic
  • An expert is one who knows more and more about less and less.
  • An expert is someone who knows a lot about the past. -Tom Hopkins
  • An expert is someone who knows more and more about less and less, until eventually he knows everything about nothing. - Anonymous
  • An honest politician is one who, when he is bought, will stay bought.
  • An honest weatherman says, Today's forecast is bright and sunny with an 80% chance that I'm wrong.
  • An ideal homework excuse Teacher: Where is your homework? Pupil: My little sister ate it!
  • An idiom attributed to Ben Franklin in Poor Richard's Almanac
  • An inferiority complex is a conviction by a jury of your fears. -Author unknown
  • An obstacle is something you see when you take your eyes off the goal.
  • An open mind does not always require an open mouth.
  • An optimist believes we live in the best of all worlds.
  • An optimist believes we live in the best of all worlds.A pessimist fears this is true.
  • An ounce of hypocracy is worth a pound of ambition. -Michael Korda
  • An ounce of image is worth a pound of performance. - Nolan's / Peter's Placebo
  • Anais Nin~ And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.
  • Anais Nin~ Life shrinks or expands in proportion to ones courage.
  • Anais Nin~ When you make a world tolerable for yourself you make a world tolerable for others.
  • Anatole France~ A person is never happy except at the price of some ignorance.
  • Anatole France~ It is better to understand little than to understand a lot.
  • Anatole France~ To accomplish great things we must dream as well as act.
  • Anaxagoras~ The descent to Hades is the same from every place.
  • And how did you find your steak sir? Well, quite accidentally. I moved this tomato slice and there it was
  • And on the 8th day, God created cats.
  • And on the 8th day, God went fishing!
  • And on the 8th day, God went skiing!
  • And then there was the UCLA professor who opened up his vest, pulled out his tie and wet his pants.
  • And think not you can guide the course of love. For love, if it finds you worthy, shall guide your course. -Kahlil Gibran
  • And when you have reached the mountain top, then you shall begin to climb. -Kahlil Gibran
  • And your crybaby whiny-assed opinion would be...?
  • Andr Gide~ Art is a collarboration between God and the artist and the less the artist does the better.
  • Andr Maurois~ In literature as in love we are astonished at what is chosen by others.
  • Andre Gide~ Be faithful to that which exists nowhere but in yourself - and thus make yourself indispensable.
  • Andre Gide~ Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it.
  • Andre Gide~ So long as we live among men let us cherish humanity.
  • Andre Malraux~ A man is the sum of his actions of what he has done of what he can do nothing else.
  • Andrew Carnegie~ No man will make a great leader who wants to do it all himself or to get all the credit for doing it.
  • Andrew Lang~ He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lampposts - for support rather than for illumination.
  • Andrew Mercer~ Only the most foolish of mice would hide in a cats ear but only the wisest of cats would think to look there.
  • Andrew S. Tanenbaum~ The nice thing about standards is that there are so many of them to choose from.
  • Andrew Schneider~ Real meaningful endeavours the biggies in human existence often require the sacrifice of others.
  • Andrew Schneider~ There can be no spirituality no sanctity no truth without the female sex.
  • Andrew Schneider~ Theres a lot to be said for self-delusionment when it comes to matters of the heart.
  • Andrew Schneider~ Trees like to have kids climb on them but trees are much bigger than we are and much more forgiving.
  • Andrew Schneider~ You bluffed me I dont like it when people bluff me. It makes me question my perception of reality.
  • Andrew Weremy~ There is more learning in the question itself than the answer.
  • Andy Anderson~ The origin of every excuse is the failure to do something.
  • Andy Rooney~ Dont rule out working with your hands. It does not preclude using your head.
  • Andy Warhol~ In the future everyone will be famous for fifteen minutes.
  • Andy Warhol~ They always say time changes things but you actually have to change them yourself.
  • Angela Schwindt~ While we try to teach our children all about life our children teach us what life is all about.
  • Anger and jealousy can no more bear to lose sight of their objects than love. - George Eliot
  • Anger is a condition in which the tongue works faster than the mind.
  • Anger is an expensive luxury in which only men of a certain income can indulge. - George William Curtis
  • Anger is momentary madness, so control your passion or it will control you. - Horace
  • Anger is never without an argument, but seldom with a good one. - Geogre Saville
  • Anger makes dull men witty, but it keeps them poor. -Elizabeth 1. - Elizabeth 1
  • Anger wishes that all mankind had only one neck; love, that it had only one heart; grief, two tear-glands; and pride, two bent knees
  • Animal testing is futile! The animals always get nervous and give the wrong answers!
  • Anita Roddick~ And remember this if you ever think youre too small to be effective - youve never been in bed with a mosquito.
  • Ankh if you love RA.
  • Ann Landers~ Dont accept your dogs admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful.
  • Anna Freud~ Creative minds have always been known to survive any kind of bad training.
  • Anna Freud~ I was always looking outside myself for strength and confidence but it comes from within. It is there all the time.
  • Anna Lappe~ Courage is saying Maybe what Im doing isnt working maybe I should try something else.
  • Anna Lappe~ Hope doesnt come from calculating whether the good news is winning out over the bad. Its simply a choice to take action.
  • Anna M. Uhlich~ My eyes are an ocean in which my dreams are reflected.
  • Anna Quindlen~ A finished person is a boring person.
  • Anna Sewell~ I am never afraid of what I know.
  • Anne Frank~ Laziness may appear attractive but work gives satisfaction.
  • Anne Sexton~ The joy that isnt shared dies young.
  • Anne Spencer Morrow Lindbergh~ Good communication is as stimulating as black coffee and just as hard to sleep after.
  • Anne Spencer Morrow Lindbergh~ Grief cant be shared. Everyone carries it alone his own burdens his own way.
  • Anne Spencer Morrow Lindbergh~ One cannot collect all the beautiful shells on the beach.
  • Anne Tyler~ Ive never quite believed that one chance is all I get.
  • Annette Goodheart~ Just because youre miserable doesnt mean you cant enjoy your life.
  • Annie Gottlieb~ We challenge each other to be funnier and smarter.
  • Anon.~ A person who aims at nothing is sure to hit it.
  • Anon.~ A real leader faces the music even when he doesnt like the tune.
  • Anon.~ BASIC - A programming language. Related to certain social diseases in that those who have it will not admit it in polite company.
  • Anon.~ Bad Command or File Name. Good try though.
  • Anon.~ Bad habits are like a comfortable bed easy to get into but hard to get out of.
  • Anon.~ Bulls make money. Bears make money. Pigs get slaughtered.
  • Anon.~ COFFEE.EXE missing. Insert cup and press any key.
  • Anon.~ Cannot find REALITY.SYS...Universe Halted.
  • Anon.~ Good better best never let it rest till your good is better and your better is best.
  • Anon.~ Great minds think alike.
  • Anon.~ If you love somebody let them go. If they return they were always yours. If they dont they never were.
  • Anon.~ Love has nothing to do with what you are expecting to get its what you are expected to give - which is everything.
  • Anon.~ Never assume for it makes an ASS out of U and ME.
  • Anon.~ No one is listening until you make a mistake.
  • Anon.~ Philosophy is a study that lets us be unhappy more intelligently.
  • Anon.~ Press any key... no no no NOT THAT ONE
  • Anon.~ Real programmers dont comment their code. If it was hard to write it should be hard to understand.
  • Anon.~ Reality can be beaten with enough imagination.
  • Anon.~ Remember people will judge you by your actions not your intentions. You may have a heart of gold - but so does a hard-boiled egg.
  • Anon.~ Scandisk is now checking your hard disk. You can start praying.
  • Anon.~ Smash forehead on keyboard to continue.
  • Anon.~ Success always occurs in private and failure in full view.
  • Anon.~ The NeXT Computer The hardware makes it a PC the software makes it a workstation the unit sales makes it a mainframe.
  • Anon.~ The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother.
  • Anon.~ The real measure of your wealth is how much youd be worth if you lost all your money.
  • Anon.~ The time to stop talking is when the other person nods his head affirmatively but says nothing.
  • Anon.~ There are no shortcuts to any place worth going.
  • Anon.~ There are two ways to write error-free programs. Only the third one works.
  • Anon.~ To succeed in politics it is often necessary to rise above your principles.
  • Anon.~ Tourists are terrorists with cameras. Terrorists are tourists with guns.
  • Anon.~ WARNING Keyboard Not Attached. Press F to Continue.
  • Anon.~ When I find myself fading I close my eyes and realize my friends are my energy.
  • Anonymous~ A good scare is worth more to a man than good advice.
  • Anonymous~ Better to get up late and be wide awake than to get up early and be asleep all day.
  • Anonymous~ If you really do put a small value upon yourself rest assured that the world will not raise your price.
  • Anonymous~ Life is a sexually transmitted disease.
  • Anonymous~ May no portent of evil be attached to the words I say.
  • Anonymous~ Nobody knows the age of the human race but everybody agrees that it is old enough to know better.
  • Anonymous~ There are no thanks for a kindness which has been delayed.
  • Anonymous~ Tis the advisor who suffers from bad advice.
  • Anonymous~ You add insult to injury.
  • Another dopeless hope fiend!
  • Anouk Aimee~ Cosmic upheaval is not so moving as a little child pondering the death of a sparrow in the corner of a barn.
  • Anouk Aimee~ Some pray to marry the man they love my prayer will somewhat vary I humbly pray to heaven above that I love the man I marry.
  • Answer my prayer -- steal this car.
  • Anthelme Brillat-Savarin~ The discovery of a new dish does more for human happiness than the discovery of a new star.
  • Anthony Burgess~ Laugh and the world laughs with you snore and you sleep alone.
  • Anthony Burgess~ We all need money but there are degrees of desperation.
  • Anthony DAngelo~ If you believe that discrimination exists it will.
  • Anthony DAngelo~ The people who oppose your ideas are inevitably those who represent the established order that your ideas will upset.
  • Anthony DAngelo~ Transcend political correctness and strive for human righteousness.
  • Anthony DAngelo~ Without a sense of caring there can be no sense of community.
  • Anthony Robbins~ Let fear be a counselor and not a jailer.
  • Anthony Robbins~ The path to success is to take massive determined action.
  • Anthony Trollope~ Above all else never think youre not good enough.
  • Anthony de Mello~ Obedience keeps the rules. Love knows when to break them.
  • Antoine De Saint-Exupery~ A pile of rocks ceases to be a rock when somebody contemplates it with the idea of a cathedral in mind.
  • Antoine De Saint-Exupery~ The aeroplane has unveiled for us the true face of the earth.
  • Antoine De Saint-Exupery~ When you give yourself you receive more than you give.
  • Antoine Rivarol~ Man spends his life in reasoning on the past in complaining of the present in fearing future.
  • Antonio Porchia~ One lives in the hope of becoming a memory.
  • Anwar el Sadat~ A doubtful friend is worse than a certain enemy. Let a man be one thing or the other and we then know how to meet him.
  • Anwar el Sadat~ I was brought up to believe that how I saw myself was more important than how others saw me.
  • Anwar el Sadat~ Russians can give you arms but only the United States can give you a solution.
  • Any activity becomes creative when the doer cares about doing it right, or doing it better. -John Updike
  • Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
  • Any fact facing us is not as important as our attitude toward it, for that determines our success or failure. -Norman Vincent Peale
  • Any fact is better established by two or three good testimonies than by a thousand arguments. - Nathaniel Emmons
  • Any man who laughs at women's clothes has never paid the bill for them.
  • Any man who selects a goal in life which can be fully achieved has already defined his own limitations. -Cavett Robert
  • Any producing entity is the last to use its own product.
  • Any programming language is at its best before it is implemented and used.
  • Any technology distinguishable from magic is insufficiently advanced.
  • Any theory can be made to fit any facts by means of appropriate additional assumptions.
  • Any time you try to win everything, you must be willing to lose everything. -Larry Csonka
  • Any tool dropped while repairing a car will roll underneath to the exact center.
  • Anybody can win, unless there happens to be a second entry. - George Ade
  • Anybody who watches three games of football in a row should be declared brain dead. - Erma Bombeck
  • Anyone who can be replaced by a machine deserves to be. -Dennis Gunston
  • Anyone who can see through a woman, is missing a lot!
  • Anyone who thinks that they are too small to make a difference, has never been in bed with a mosquito.
  • Anything labeled "New" and/or "Improved" is not: the label means the price went up.
  • Anything not nailed down is a cat toy!
  • Anything one man can imagine, other men can make real. -Jules Verne
  • Anything that can be changed will be changed until there is no time left to change anything.
  • Anything unattempted remains impossible. -Unknown Author
  • Anything worth doing is worth doing poorly until you learn to do it well. -Steve Brown
  • Anything you lose automatically doubles in value.
  • Anything you lose automatically doubles in value. (Mignon McLaughin)
  • Aphra Behn~ Variety is the soul of pleasure.
  • Appearances are a glimpse of the unseen. - Aeschylus
  • Applied mathematicians do it by computer simulation.
  • Apply yourself. Get all the education you can, but then, by God, do something. Don't just stand there, make something happen.
  • Aprocrypha~ Let thy speech be short comprehending much in a few words.
  • Aproximately 50% of production of taurine goes to pet food production with the other half to pharmaceutical applications.
  • Apuleius~ He is the better equipped for life. As for swimming who has the less to carry.
  • Aquaviva~ Let us be resolute in prosecuting our ends and mild in our methods of so doing.
  • Arbie M. Dale~ To decide to be at the level of choice is to take responsibility for your life and to be in control of your life.
  • Archaeologists are the cowboys of science.
  • Archbishop Ireland~ Law is order in liberty and without order liberty is social chaos.
  • Archeologist: someone whose carreer lies in ruins.
  • Are birth control pills deductible? Only if they don't work.
  • Are hamburgers male? Yes, because they're boygers, not girlgers!
  • Are you as close to Jesus as you are to my bumper?
  • Are you green and growing or ripe and rotting?. -Ray Kroc
  • Are you showing your Blond?
  • Are you sure this isn't just a live-action roleplaying game?
  • Aren't you glad your mother was Pro-Life?
  • Aristophanes~ A man may learn wisdom even from a foe.
  • Aristophanes~ High thoughts must have high language.
  • Aristophanes~ Shall I crack any of those old jokes master At which the audience never fail to laugh
  • Aristophenes~ A man may learn wisdom even from a foe.
  • Aristophenes~ Comedy is allied to justice.
  • Aristotle~ A friend is a second self.
  • Aristotle~ A great city is not to be confounded with a populous one.
  • Aristotle~ A whole is that which has beginning middle and end.
  • Aristotle~ Again men in general desire the good and not merely what their fathers had.
  • Aristotle~ All human actions have one or more of these seven causes chance nature compulsion habit reason passion and desire.
  • Aristotle~ All men by nature desire knowledge.
  • Aristotle~ All paid jobs absorb and degrade the mind.
  • Aristotle~ All proofs rest on premises.
  • Aristotle~ All virtue is summed up in dealing justly.
  • Aristotle~ Consider pleasures as they depart not as they come.
  • Aristotle~ Courage is the first of human qualities because it is the quality which guarantees the others.
  • Aristotle~ Happiness depends upon ourselves.
  • Aristotle~ He who is unable to live in society or who has no need because he is sufficient for himself must be either a beast or a god.
  • Aristotle~ I count him braver who overcomes his desires than him who overcomes his enemies.
  • Aristotle~ In the arena of human life the honours and rewards fall to those who show their good qualities.
  • Aristotle~ It is in justice that the ordering of society is centered.
  • Aristotle~ It is simplicity that makes the uneducated more effective than the educated when addressing popular audiences.
  • Aristotle~ It is the nature of desire not to be satisfied and most men live only for the gratification of it.
  • Aristotle~ Law is mind without reason.
  • Aristotle~ Man is by nature a political animal.
  • Aristotle~ Of all the varieties of virtues liberalism is the most beloved.
  • Aristotle~ Pleasure in the job puts perfection in the work.
  • Aristotle~ The basis of a democratic state is liberty.
  • Aristotle~ The best friend is the man who in wishing me well wishes it for my sake.
  • Aristotle~ The best political community is formed by citizens of the middle class.
  • Aristotle~ The roots of education are bitter but the fruit is sweet.
  • Aristotle~ There was never a genius without a tincture of madness.
  • Aristotle~ Time crumbles things everything grows old under the power of Time and is forgotten through the lapse of Time.
  • Aristotle~ To perceive is to suffer.
  • Aristotle~ We must as second best...take the least of the evils.
  • Aristotle~ Without friends no one would choose to live though he had all other goods.
  • Arnold Bennett~ Always behave as if nothing had happened no matter what has happened.
  • Arnold Bennett~ Falsehood often lurks upon the tongue of him who by self-praise seeks to enhance his value in the eyes of others.
  • Arnold Bennett~ The moment youre born youre done for.
  • Arnold Daly~ Golf is like a love affair if you dont take it seriously its no fun. If you do take it seriously it breaks your heart.
  • Arnold Glasgow~ Laughter is a tranquilizer with no side effects.
  • Arnold Glasgow~ Make your life a mission - not an intermission.
  • Arnold Glasgow~ Nothing lasts forever - not even your troubles.
  • Arnold Glasgow~ The fewer the facts the stronger the opinion.
  • Arnold J. Toynbee~ America is a large friendly dog in a very small room. Every time it wags its tail it knocks over a chair.
  • Arnold Schwarzenegger~ Money doesnt make you happy. I now have million but I was just as happy when I had million.
  • Arnot L. Sheppard Jr.~ Isnt it surprising how many things if not said immediately seem not worth saying ten minutes from now
  • Art Buchwald~ The best things in life arent things.
  • Art Linkletter~ The four stages of man are infancy childhood adolescence and obsolescence.
  • Art Teacher: The picture of the horse is good, but where is the wagon? Pupil: The horse will draw it!
  • Art and science have their meeting point in method. - Paul Dirac
  • Art attracts us only by what it reveals of our most secret self. -Jean-Luc Godard
  • Art is the objectification of feeling. -Suzanne K. Langer
  • Art is the path of the creator to his work. -Ralph Waldo Emerson
  • Arthur Ashe~ From what we get we can make a living what we give however makes a life.
  • Arthur C. Clarke~ I dont pretend we have all the answers. But the questions are certainly worth thinking about.
  • Arthur C. Clarke~ It has yet to be proven that intelligence has any survival value.
  • Arthur C. Clarke~ The only way of discovering the limits of the possible is to venture a little way past them into the impossible.
  • Arthur F. Sheldon~ He profits most who serves best.
  • Arthur Godfrey~ Im proud to be paying taxes in the United States. The only thing is - I could be just as proud for half the money.
  • Arthur Hays Sulzberger~ I believe in an open mind but not so open that your brains fall out.
  • Arthur John Gossip~ God is like the sun at high noon always giving all he has.
  • Arthur Koestler~ If the creator had a purpose in equipping us with a neck he surely meant us to stick it out.
  • Arthur Koestler~ The more original a discovery the more obvious it seems afterwards.
  • Arthur Miller~ A good newspaper I suppose is a nation talking to itself.
  • Arthur Rubinstein~ I have found that if you love life life will love you back.
  • Arthur Schlesinger Jr.~ History is full of surprises.
  • Arthur Schopenhauer~ Every nation ridicules other nations and all are right.
  • Arthur Schopenhauer~ Talent hits a target no one else can hit Genius hits a target no one else can see.
  • Arthur Schopenhauer~ There is no doubt that life is given us not to be enjoyed but to be overcome-to be got over.
  • Arthur Schopenhauer~ We forfeit three-fourths of ourselves in order to be like other people.
  • Artichokes are like humans: you have to go through so much to get to the heart.
  • Artificial desires are despoiling the earth
  • As I lived up to the highest light I had, higher and higher light came to me. -Pilgrims
  • As a man begins to live more seriously within; he begins to live more simply without.
  • As a matter of fact, I do own the road.
  • As busy as a one-eyed cat watching two mouse holes.
  • As clouds are blown away by the wind, the thirst for material pleasures will be driven away by the utterance of the Lord's name. - Sri Sarada Devi
  • As crude a weapon as a cave man's club, the chemical barrage has been hurled against the fabric of life. - Rachel Carson
  • As every cat owner knows, nobody owns a cat. - Ellen Perry Berkeley
  • As far as poker goes, I really didn't play poker but a few times in high school - Doyle Brunson
  • As intelligence increases speach decreases. (Ali bin Abi Talib)
  • As large as life, and twice as natural. - Lewis Carroll (pseudonym of Rev. Charles L. Dodgson)
  • As long as you put in the work, you can own the dream. When the work stops, the dream disappears. (Jim Dietz)
  • As lucky as a man in a women's prison with a fist full of pardons.
  • As much as we thirst for approval we dread condemnation. -Hans Selye
  • As much use as a yard of pump water.
  • As the judge said to the dentist: Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth, and nothing but the tooth?
  • As we acquire more knowledge, things do not become more comprehensible but more mysterious. -Albert Schweitzer
  • As you climb the ladder of success, check occasionally to make sure it is leaning against the right wall. -Unknown Author
  • As you make your way through life, let this ever be your goal, keep your eye upon the doughnut and not upon the hole. -Unknown Author
  • As you walk down the fairway of life you must smell the roses, for you only get to play one round. -Ben Hogan
  • Ask God's blessing on your work, but don't ask him to do it for you. -Dame Flora Robson
  • Ask me if I care!
  • Aspire to inspire before you expire.
  • Aspirin, which is sometimes used to treat arthritis in cats, is much more toxic to them than to hoomans and must be administered cautiously.
  • Assumptions are the termites of relationships. -Henry Winkler
  • Astronomers do it all night.
  • Astronomers do it hyperbolically.
  • Astronomers do it in X-ways.
  • Astronomers do it in clusters.
  • Astronomers do it on mountain tops.
  • Astronomers do it telescopically.
  • Astronomers do it under the stars.
  • Astronomers do it variably.
  • Astronomers do it with young stars.
  • At 5-7 weeks is time to introduce the kittens to the litter box.
  • At 5-7 weeks kittens will be very playful, jumping up and down, batting their litter mates and general chasing and pouncing each other.
  • At eight weeks, the kittens are starting to react more like adults towards a threatening situation and play will begin to change.
  • At first, the female cat will reject the male, but eventually the female will allow the male to mate.
  • At least it was a very interesting experience.
  • At night, when the curtains are drawn and the fire flickers, my books attain a collective dignity. - Edward M. Forster
  • At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What is hell? Come early and listen to our choir practice.
  • At what time do most people go to the dentist? At tooth-hurty (2:30).
  • Atheism is a non-profit organization.
  • Atheism is just a religion.
  • Atheism is myth-understood.
  • Athenus~ No one has yet computed how many imaginary triumphs are silently celebrated by people each year to keep up their courage.
  • Athletes love to score!
  • Attempt the impossible only to improve your work. -Bette Davis
  • Attention span measured in micro seconds.
  • Attitudes are contagious. Are yours worth catching? -Anonymous
  • Attitudes are the forerunners of conditions. -Eric Butterworth
  • August Strindberg~ I love her and she loves me and we hate each other with a wild hatred born of love.
  • Auguste Renoir~ Ive been years discovering that the queen of all colors was black.
  • Augustus Hare~ Man without religion is the creature of circumstances.
  • Augustus Hare~ Thought is the wind knowledge the sail and mankind the vessel.
  • Augustus Octavius~ Practice the master of all things.
  • Aulus Gellius~ Truth is the daughter of time.
  • Auntie Em, Hate you, hate Kansas, taking the dog. Dorothy.
  • Ausonius~ Things that we hear pass quicker from our minds than what we read.
  • Austin OMalley~ A home-made friend wears longer than one you buy in the market.
  • Austin OMalley~ Show me a genuine case of platonic friendship and I shall show you two old or homely faces.
  • Austin OMalley~ Those that think it permissible to tell white lies soon grow color blind.
  • Austin Powers International Man of Mystery~ Austin Powers Do I make you horny Randy Do I make you horny baby yeah do I
  • Austin Powers International Man of Mystery~ Austin Powers Yeah baby yeah
  • Availability is better than ability for God.
  • Aviation is proof that given, the will, we have the capacity to achieve the impossible. -Edward Vernon Rickenbacker
  • Awful old Ollie oils oily autos.
  • Axel Monthe~ What you keep for yourself you lose. What you give away you keep forever.
  • Ayn Rand~ Money is the barometer of a societys virtue.
  • Ayn Rand~ The Argument from Intimidation is a confession of intellectual impotence.
  • Ayn Rand~ Wealth is the product of mans capacity to think.
  • Ayn Rand~ When I die I hope to go to Heaven whatever the Hell that is.
  • B(est) I(nformation) B(efore) L(eaving) E(arth).
  • B. A. Billingsly~ Marriage is our last best chance to grow up.
  • B. A. Fajimi~ Every disappointment gives you opportunity to make another appointment.
  • B. C. Forbes~ Real riches are the riches possessed inside.
  • B. F. Skinner~ Society attacks early when the individual is helpless.
  • B. J. Gupta~ Do to others before they do to you.
  • B. J. Gupta~ Earn but dont burn.
  • B. J. Gupta~ Exploit or get exploited.
  • B. J. Gupta~ God give me courage to do what I can humility to admit what I cant and wisdom to know the difference.
  • B. J. Gupta~ In order to find a good quotation in a dictionary of humorous quotations I didnt leave any stone unturned.
  • B. J. Gupta~ Poor are poor because rich are rich.
  • B. J. Gupta~ There is no logical answer to the question Why be moral. Religions provide practical answers to the question.
  • BE WITCHED.
  • BREAKFAST.COM Halted...Cereal Port Not Responding
  • Babe Ruth~ I have only one superstition. I touch all the bases when I hit a home run.
  • Back of ninety-nine out of one-hundred assertions that a thing cannot be done is nothing, but the unwillingness to do it. -William Feather
  • Back off! I'm not that kind of car.
  • Back to the Future~ Marty McFly Jesus George its a wonder I was ever born.
  • Back up off my bumper, it's a letal weapon.
  • Backup not found: (A)bort (R)etry (P)anic
  • Backup not found: (A)bort (R)etry (T)hrowup
  • Backups? We don' *NEED* no steenking backups.
  • Bacteria: the only culture some people have.
  • Bad Cop!! No Donut!
  • Bad command. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaay...
  • Bad excuses are worse than none. -Thomas Fuller
  • Bad or missing mouse driver. Spank the cat [Y/N]?
  • Bake big batches of brown blueberry bread.
  • Balance the budget. Declare politicians as game and sell hunting stamps.
  • Baltasar Gracian~ It is impossible to live without brains either ones own or borrowed.
  • Baltasar Gracian~ Never contend with a man who has nothing to lose.
  • Baltasar Gracian~ Never do anything when you are in a temper for you will do everything wrong.
  • Baltasar Gracian~ Put yourself on view. This brings your talents to light.
  • Baltasar Gracian~ Without courage wisdom bears no fruit.
  • Barbara Burrow~ A friend is somebody you want to be around when you feel like being by yourself.
  • Barbara Hall~ Justice does not come from the outside. It comes from inner peace.
  • Barbara Howar~ There is nothing better for the spirit or the body than a love affair. It elevates the thoughts and flattens the stomachs.
  • Barbara Kingsolver~ What keeps you going isnt some fine destination but just the road youre on and the fact that you know how to drive.
  • Barbara Mikkelson~ Beware the pull on your heartstrings - its often the pursestrings that are actually being reached for.
  • Barbara Tober~ Traditions are group efforts to keep the unexpected from happening.
  • Barbara Tuchman~ To a historian libraries are food shelter and even muse.
  • Barbara Walters~ To feel valued to know even if only once in a while that you can do a job well is an absolutely marvelous feeling.
  • Barber B. Conable Jr~ Exhaustion and exasperation are frequently the handmaidens of legislative decision.
  • Barbie is not a slut: her legs won't open.
  • Barbra Streisand~ You have got to discover you what you do and trust it.
  • Barnard Elliot Bee~ Let us determine to die here and we will conquer.
  • Baron Patrick Maynard Stuart Blackett~ Dont set your wit against a child.
  • Baroness Orczy~ An apology Bah Disgusting Cowardly Beneath the dignity of any gentleman however wrong he might be.
  • Baronne Anne Louise Germaine Necker de Stal Stal~ We cease loving ourselves if no one loves us.
  • Barry Goldwater~ I wouldnt trust Nixon from here to that phone.
  • Barry Neil Kaufman~ A loud voice cannot compete with a clear voice even if its a whisper.
  • Baruch Spinoza~ Do not weep do not wax indignant. Understand.
  • Baseball is like a poker game. Nobody wants to quit when he's losing; nobody wants you to quit when you're ahead. ~Jackie Robinson
  • Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she would come in and sink my boats. -Woody Allen
  • Basil OConnor~ The world cannot continue to wage war like physical giants and to seek peace like intellectual pygmies.
  • Basil S. Walsh~ We dont need more strength or more ability or greater opportunity. What we need is to use what we have.
  • Baslo~ Do not seek to follow in the footsteps of the wise seek what they sought.
  • Baslo~ Half of the worlds misery comes from ignorance. The other half comes from intelligence.
  • Batman~ Bruce Wayne Ysee my life is really com-PLEX.
  • Be a spot on the ground where nothing is growing, where something might be planted, a seed, from the Absolute. -Tao Saying
  • Be absolutely clear about who you are and what you stand for. Refuse to compromise. -Brian Tracy
  • Be absolutely determined to enjoy what you do. -Gerry Sikorski
  • Be alert. Your country needs lerts.
  • Be as friendly to the janitor as you are to the chairman of the board.
  • Be at peace with yourself (shut-up).
  • Be aware of Programmers who carry screwdrivers.
  • Be beautiful if you can, wise if you want to... But be respected, that is essential.
  • Be beautiful if you can, wise if you want to...But be respected, that is essential. (Anna Gould)
  • Be bold in what you stand for; and careful what you fall for.
  • Be bold-and mighty forces will come to your aid. -Basil King
  • Be careful or you'll poke your eye out!
  • Be curious always! For knowledge will not acquire you: you must acquire it. - Sudie Back
  • Be glad of life because it gives you the chance to love and to work and to play and to look up at the stars. -Henry Van Dyke
  • Be glad today. Tomorrow may bring tears. Be brave today. The darkest night will pass. And golden rays will usher in the dawn. - Sarah Knowles Bolton
  • Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home!
  • Be not angry that you cannot make others as you wish them to be, since you cannot make yourself as you wish to be. - Thomas a Kempis
  • Be not curious in unnecessary matters: for more things are shrewd unto thee than men understand. - Bible
  • Be slow in choosing a friend, slower in changing. (Benjamin Franklin)
  • Be smart, but never show it. -Louis B Mayer
  • Be sure to keep anti-freeze away from all animals - it's sweet and enticing, but deadly poison.
  • Be thou faithful unto death, and I will give thee a crown of life.
  • Be true to your teeth and they won't be false to you. -Soupy Sales
  • Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath: Neither give place to the devil. - Bible
  • Be ye fishers of men, you catch them - He will clean them.
  • Be your character what it will, it will be known; and nobody will take it upon your word. -Philip Dormer Shanhope, Lord Chesterfield
  • Be yourself. Who else is better qualified?. -Frank Giblin, Ii
  • Beam Me Up Scotty! There's No Intelligent Life Down Here.
  • Bean me up Scotty! They make lousy coffee down here
  • Beat the 5 o'clock rush, leave work at noon!
  • Beatrix Potter~ Thank goodness I was never sent to school it would have rubbed off some of the originality.
  • Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and I'm not one to judge.
  • Beauty is in the heart of the beholder. - Al Bernstein
  • Beauty is only skin deep...but ugly goes all the way to the bone!
  • Beauty itself is but the sensible image of the infinite. - George Bancroft
  • Because you are someone special I send you my love today For you are very wonderful In each and every way
  • Becky Alunan~ Life is a joke. The only way to survive it is to find the right punchline.
  • Bede Jarrett~ The mysterious is always attractive. People will always follow a vail.
  • Bee Healthy. Eat your Honey!
  • Been there, done that, got the t-shirt.
  • Been there. Done that. Went back for more.
  • Before the reward there must be labor. You plant before you harvest. You sow in tears before you reap joy. -Ralph Ransom
  • Before the tongue can speak, it must have lost the power to wound. -Pilgrims
  • Before you build a better mousetrap, it helps to know if there are any mice out there. -Mortimer B. Zuckerman
  • Before you can break out of prison, you must realize that you are locked up.
  • Begin - to begin is half the work, let half still remain; again begin this, and thou wilt have finished. - Decimus Magnus Ausonius
  • Begin - to begin is half the work, let half still remain; again begin this, and thou wilt have finished. -Ausonius
  • Beginning Magic by Beatrix Star
  • Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman. (Mr Sim York Soo)
  • Behind every successful woman is herself.
  • Behold the turtle. He only makes progress when he sticks his neck out. -James Bryant Conant
  • Being a grandfather doesn't bother me, but sleeping with a grandma certainly does.
  • Being angered is the greatest defeat to a human being. - Kazi Shams
  • Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength; loving someone deeply gives you courage. -Lao Tzu
  • Being defeated is often only a temporary condition. Giving up is what makes it permanent. -Marilyn vos Savant
  • Being happy is more important than anything else
  • Being powerful is like being a lady. If you have to tell people you are - you aren't. (Margaret Thatcher)
  • Being right is highly overrated. Even a stopped clock is right twice a day.
  • Being yourself is being the person everyone else wants you to be.
  • Belief is the ignition switch that gets you off the launching pad.
  • Believe in life after death. Mess with my car and you'll find out.
  • Belva Davis~ Dont be afraid of the space between your dreams and reality. If you can dream it you can make it so.
  • Ben Bova~ Feeding the starving poor only increases their number.
  • Ben Franklin~ The Constitution only gives people the right to pursue happiness. You have to catch it yourself.
  • Ben Stein~ You can do what you think you can do and you cannot do what you think you cannot.
  • Bend a few stories or yarns (lie).
  • Benjamin Cardozo~ Opinion has a significance proportioned to the sources that sustain it.
  • Benjamin Disraeli~ A conservative government is an organized hypocrisy.
  • Benjamin Disraeli~ A man who loses his money gains at the least experience and sometimes something better.
  • Benjamin Disraeli~ Action may not always bring happiness but there is no happiness without action.
  • Benjamin Disraeli~ As a rule he or she who has the most information will have the greatest success in life.
  • Benjamin Disraeli~ Assassination has never changed the history of the world.
  • Benjamin Disraeli~ Desperation is sometimes as powerful an inspirer as genius.
  • Benjamin Disraeli~ I must follow the people. Am I not their leader
  • Benjamin Disraeli~ Ignorance never settles a question.
  • Benjamin Disraeli~ Individuals may form communities but it is institutions alone that can create a nation.
  • Benjamin Disraeli~ It is well-known what a middleman is he is a man who bamboozles one party and plunders the other.
  • Benjamin Disraeli~ Never complain and never explain.
  • Benjamin Disraeli~ No government can be long secure without formidable opposition.
  • Benjamin Disraeli~ Nurture your mind with great thoughts For you will never go any higher that you think...
  • Benjamin Disraeli~ Seeing much suffering much and studying much are the three pillars of learning.
  • Benjamin Disraeli~ Sir I say that justice is truth in action.
  • Benjamin Disraeli~ The best way to become acquainted with a subject is to write a book about it.
  • Benjamin Disraeli~ The hare-brained chatter of irresponsible frivolity.~ );
  • Benjamin Disraeli~ The magic of first love is our ignorance that it can never end.
  • Benjamin Disraeli~ The more extensive a mans knowledge of what has been done the greater will be his power of knowing what to do.
  • Benjamin Disraeli~ The most dangerous strategy is to jump a chasm in two leaps.
  • Benjamin Disraeli~ The wisdom of the wise and the experience of ages may be preserved by quotation.
  • Benjamin Disraeli~ Through perseverance many people win success out of what seemed destined to be certain failure.
  • Benjamin Disraeli~ What we anticipate seldom occurs what we least expected generally happens.
  • Benjamin Disraeli~ When men are pure laws are useless when men are corrupt laws are broken.
  • Benjamin Franklin~ A life of leisure and a life of laziness are two different things.
  • Benjamin Franklin~ After three days men grow weary of a wench a guest and rainy weather.
  • Benjamin Franklin~ Anger is never without a reason but seldom a good one.
  • Benjamin Franklin~ Any fool can criticize condemn and complain and most fools do.
  • Benjamin Franklin~ By heaven we understand a state of happiness infinite in degree and endless in duration.
  • Benjamin Franklin~ Do good to thy Friend to keep him to thy enemy to gain him.
  • Benjamin Franklin~ He is ill clothed who is bare of virtue.
  • Benjamin Franklin~ He was so learned that he could name a horse in nine languages so ignorant that he bought a cow to ride on.
  • Benjamin Franklin~ He who shall introduce into public affairs the principles of primitive Christianity will change the face of the world.
  • Benjamin Franklin~ If you would be wealthy think of saving as well as getting.
  • Benjamin Franklin~ If you would not be forgotten as soon as you are dead either write something worth reading or do things worth writing.
  • Benjamin Franklin~ Keep thy eyes wide open before marriage and half-shut afterwards.
  • Benjamin Franklin~ Lost time is never found again.
  • Benjamin Franklin~ There is no little enemy.
  • Benjamin Franklin~ Time is money.
  • Benjamin Franklin~ To be humble to superiors is duty to equals courtesy to inferiors nobleness.
  • Benjamin Franklin~ To lengthen thy life lessen thy meals.
  • Benjamin Franklin~ Wish not so much to live long as to live well.
  • Benjamin Johnson~ Drink to me only with thine eyes And I will pledge with mine Or leave a kiss but in the cup And Ill not look for wine.
  • Benjamin McLane Spock~ What good mothers and fathers instinctively feel like doing for their babies is usually best after all.
  • Bennett Alfred Cerf~ Censor a self-appointed snoophound who sticks his nose in other peoples business.
  • Bern Williams~ Ideas are like wandering sons. They show up when you least expect them.
  • Bern Williams~ We may pass violets looking for roses. We may pass contentment looking for victory.
  • Bernard Bailey~ When they discover the center of the universe a lot of people will be disappointed to discover they are not it.
  • Bernard Baruch~ I made my money by selling too soon.
  • Bernard Berenson~ Miracles happen to those who believe in them.
  • Bernard Mannes Baruch~ Millions saw the apple fall but Newton was the one who asked why.
  • Bertha Calloway~ We cannot direct the wind but we can adjust the sails.
  • Bertha Flowers~ Words mean more than what is set down on paper. It takes the human voice to infuse them with the shades of deeper meaning.
  • Berthold Auerbach~ Only he is free who cultivates his own thoughts and strives without fear to do justice to them.
  • Bertolt Brecht~ War is like love it always finds a way.
  • Bertolt Brecht~ What happens to the hole when the cheese is gone
  • Bertrand Russell~ Do not fear to be eccentric in opinion for every opinion now accepted was once eccentric.
  • Bertrand Russell~ Everything is vague to a degree you do not realize till you have tried to make it precise.
  • Bertrand Russell~ If fifty million people say a foolish thing it is still a foolish thing.
  • Bertrand Russell~ It has been said that man is a rational animal. All my life I have been searching for evidence which could support this.
  • Bertrand Russell~ It is a waste of energy to be angry with a man who behaves badly just as it is to be angry with a car that wont go.
  • Bertrand Russell~ It is clear that thought is not free if the profession of certain opinions makes it impossible to earn a living.
  • Bertrand Russell~ It is preoccupation with possessions more than anything else that prevents us from living freely and nobly.
  • Bertrand Russell~ Many people would sooner die than think In fact they do so.
  • Bertrand Russell~ Mathematics rightly viewed posses not only truth but supreme beauty - a beauty cold and austere like that of sculpture.
  • Bertrand Russell~ So far as I can remember there is not one word in the Gospels in praise of intelligence.
  • Bertrand Russell~ The mind is a strange machine which can combine the materials offered to it in the most astonishing ways.
  • Bertrand Russell~ The time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time.
  • Bertrand Russell~ The world is full of magical things patiently waiting for our wits to grow sharper.
  • Bertrand Russell~ To fear love is to fear life and those who fear life are already three parts dead.
  • Bertrand Russell~ War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
  • Beryl Markham~ You can live a lifetime and at the end of it know more about other people than you know about yourself.
  • Best friends don't ask you: "Is something wrong?" Best friends ask you: "Whats wrong?"
  • Bette Davis~ Without wonder and insight acting is just a trade. With it it becomes creation.
  • Bette Midler~ I never know how much of what I say is true.
  • Better a chip on by shoulder than one at your feet.
  • Better a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without.
  • Better keep yourself clean and bright. You are the window through which you must see the world. -George Bernard Shaw
  • Better make myself look *big*. -- The Cat
  • Better to do something imperfectly than to do nothing perfectly. -Robert Schuller
  • Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt. (Abraham Lincoln)
  • Better to understand little than to misunderstand a lot.
  • Betty Naomi Friedan~ It is easier to live through someone else than to become complete yourself.
  • Betty Naomi Friedan~ When she stopped conforming to the conventional picture of femininity she finally began to enjoy being a woman.
  • Betty better butter Brad's bread.
  • Between 4-5 weeks kittens are gaining a lot of knowledge about their world from their mother who they trust implicitly.
  • Between 4-5 weeks kittens vision is now good and the cloudiness has gone from their eyes.
  • Between the sword and the wall (Spanish).
  • Between whom there is hearty truth, there is love. -Henry David Thoreau
  • Beware of programmers who carry screwdrivers.
  • Bhagavad Gita~ As the kindled fire consumes the fuel so in the flame of wisdom the embers of action are burnt to ashes.
  • Bhagavad Gita~ Death is as sure for that which is born as birth is for that which is dead. Therefore grieve not for what is inevitable.
  • Bhagavad Gita~ For certain is death for the born And certain is birth for the dead Therefore over the inevitable Thou shouldst not grieve.
  • Bhagavad Gita~ Man is made by his belief. As he believes so he is.
  • Bias~ Do not speak quickly it is a sign of insanity.
  • Bible~ And the work of righteousness shall be peace and the effect of righteousness quietness and assurance for ever.
  • Bible~ Ask and it shall be given you Seek and ye shall find Knock and it shall be opened unto you.
  • Bible~ Blessed is the man that endureth temptation for when he is tried he shall receive the crown of life.
  • Bible~ Faith is the substance of things hoped for the evidence of things not seen.
  • Big Brother: That planet over there is Mars. Little Brother: Then that other one must be Pa's.
  • Big Daddy Lipscomb~ I just wrap my arms around the whole backfield and peel em one by one until I get to the ball carrier. Him I keep.
  • Big Ideas are so hard to recognize, so fragile, so easy to kill. Don't forget that, all of you who don't have them. (John Elliot, Jr.)
  • Big Ron was caught speeding on his way to the City Ground today. I'll do anything for 3 points, he said when questioned.
  • Big results require big ambitions. -James Champy
  • Big shots are only little shots who keep shooting. -Christopher Morley
  • Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.
  • Bill Cosby~ A word to the wise aint necessary - its the stupid ones that need the advice.
  • Bill Cosby~ The very first law in advertising is to avoid the concrete promise and cultivate the delightfully vague.
  • Bill Hoest~ I just need enough to tide me over until I need more.
  • Bill Lyon~ If at first you dont succeed find out if the loser gets anything.
  • Bill Nye~ Wagners music is better than it sounds.
  • Bill Watterson~ Careful. We dont want to learn from this.
  • Bill Watterson~ People who get nostalgic about childhood were obviously never children.
  • Bill: My sister has lovely long red hair all down her back. Will: Pity it's not on her head.
  • Billie Holiday~ All dope can do for you is kill you the long hard way. And it can kill the people you love right along with you.
  • Billy Joel~ Its okay if you mess up. You should give yourself a break.
  • Billy Wilder~ Hindsight is always twenty-twenty.
  • Bin Laden hates Rock'n Roll.
  • Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest. (Rev. Larry Lorenzoni)
  • Black Bugs Bleed Black Blood
  • Black bug's blood
  • Blade~ Frost You may wake up one day and find yourself extinct
  • Blaine Lee~ The great leaders are like the best conductors - they reach beyond the notes to reach the magic in the players.
  • Blaise Pascal~ I have discovered that all human evil comes from this mans being unable to sit still in a room.
  • Blaise Pascal~ If all men knew what others say of them there would not be four friends in the world.
  • Blaise Pascal~ It is not good to be too free. It is not good to have everything one wants.
  • Blaise Pascal~ It is the fight alone that pleases us not the victory.
  • Blaise Pascal~ Nature has perfection in order to show that she is the image of God and defects to show that she is only his image.
  • Blaise Pascal~ Our heart has its reasons that reason cannot know.
  • Blaise Pascal~ The eternal silence of these infinite spaces fills me with dread.
  • Bleeding Edge: The time between buying your new computer and unpacking it at home.
  • Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused.
  • Blessed are those who can laugh at themselves, they will never cease to be amused.
  • Blessed be the censors, for they shall truly inhibit the earth.
  • Blessed is he who doesn't show hatefulness over what is lost, but instead, shows gratefulness over what is left.
  • Blessing Irish~ At a certain age some peoples minds close up they live on their intellectual fat.
  • Blessing Irish~ Lust of power burns more fiercely than all the passions combined.
  • Blondes arent dumm
  • Blondes have more fun... with Me! Blow your mind. Smoke gunpowder.
  • Blowing out another's candle will not make yours shine brighter.
  • Bob Dylan~ He not busy being born is busy dying.
  • Bob Dylan~ Ill let you be in my dreams if I can be in yours.
  • Bob Dylan~ Money doesnt talk it swears.
  • Bob Hope~ If you havent any charity in your heart you have the worst kind of heart trouble.
  • Bob Newhart~ All I can say about life is Oh God enjoy it
  • Bob Ross~ Besides we dont make mistakes here we just have happy accidents.
  • Bob Talbert~ Teaching kids to count is fine but teaching them what counts is best.
  • Bob Wells~ For every action there is an equal and opposite government program.
  • Bobby Knight~ All of us learn to write in the second grade. Most of us go on to greater things.
  • Bobby Unser~ Success is where preparation and opportunity meet.
  • Bobcat Goldthwaite~ Americas one of the finest countries anyone ever stole.
  • Bodie Thoene~ What is right is often forgotten by what is convenient.
  • Body By Nautilus, Brain By Mattel!
  • Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it. Begin it now. -Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe
  • Bones; there are 206 in the human body. No need for dismay, however: two bones of the middle ear have never been broken in a skiing accident.
  • Bonnie Friedman~ An unhurried sense of time is in itself a form of wealth.
  • Bonnie Prudden~ You cant turn back the clock. But you can wind it up again.
  • Booker T. Washington~ Character is power.
  • Booker T. Washington~ Few things can help an individual more than to place responsibility on him and to let him know that you trust him.
  • Booker T. Washington~ I will permit no man to narrow and degrade my soul by making me hate him.
  • Booker T. Washington~ No race can prosper till it learns that there is as much dignity in tilling a field as in writing a poem.
  • Booker T. Washington~ There are two ways of exerting ones strength one is pushing down the other is pulling up.
  • Boris Marshalov~ Congress is so strange. A man gets up to speak and says nothing. Nobody listens - and then everybody disagrees.
  • Born Again. And again, and again, and again ....
  • Born OK the First Time.
  • Borrow money from pessimists. They don't expect it back.
  • Borrow money from pessimists.They don't expect it back.
  • Both of my marriages have been disappointing. My first wife left me and my second one didn't. marr
  • Bouilly~ Whatever we possess becomes of double value When we have the opportunity of sharing it with others.
  • Boutros Boutros-Ghali~ The secret of my success is that I always managed to live to fly another day.
  • Boy: Grandma, do you know how to croak. Grandma: No, I don't think so. Why? Boy: Because Daddy says he'll be a rich man when you do.
  • Boy: You've got a face like a million dollars. Girl: Have I really? Boy: Yes? it's green and wrinkly.
  • BoyFriend: Why didn't you give me anything for my birthday? GirlFriend: You told me to surprise you.
  • Brad Bell~ True love is not rare at the age of a teen but recognizing it as true love is.
  • Brad Moore~ Pride would be a lot easier to swallow if it didnt taste so bad.
  • Brad's big black bath brush broke.
  • Bradley Miller~ Teaching a child not to step on a caterpillar is as valuable to the child as it is to the caterpillar.
  • Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.
  • Bravery is the capacity to perform properly even when scared half to death. -General Omar Bradley
  • Brendan Francis Behan~ Courage is the ladder on which all the other virtues mount.
  • Brendan Francis~ A man is already halfway in love with any woman who listens to him.
  • Brendan Francis~ A quotation in a speech article or book is like a rifle in the hands of an infantryman. It speaks with authority.
  • Brian Clark~ Whose life is it anyway
  • Brian Tracy~ It doesnt matter where you are coming from. All that matters is where you are going.
  • Brian Weir~ In order to be walked on you have to be lying down.
  • Brigham Young~ Nature is the glass reflecting God as by the sea reflected is the sun too glorious to be gazed on in his sphere.
  • Brigham Young~ The best remedy for anger is delay.
  • Bright lights cast dark shadows when shone from only one direction. -David Kelley
  • Bring on the suuuunshine... whoo hoo now I can dress like a tart and noone will mind.
  • Brooks Atkinson~ The perfect bureaucrat everywhere is the man who manages to make no decisions and escape all responsibility.
  • Brother: How do you top a car? Sister: Tep on the brake, tupid.
  • Bruce Barton~ Conceit is Gods gift to little men.
  • Bruce Barton~ The four stages of man are infancy childhood adolescence and obsolescence.
  • Bruce Barton~ When youre through changing youre through.
  • Bruce Lee~ A good teacher protects his pupils from his own influence.
  • Bruce Lee~ As long as we separate this oneness into two we wont achieve realization.
  • Bruce Lee~ Ideas are the beginning of all achievement.
  • Bruce Lee~ Knowing is not enough we must apply. Willing is not enough we must do.
  • Bruce Williams~ Never love anything that cant love you back.
  • Buckets of bug blood, buckets of bug blood, buckets of bug blood
  • Budd Schulberg~ You dont understand. I could have had class. I could have been a contender.
  • Buddha~ Health is the greatest gift contentment the greatest wealth faithfulness the best relationship.
  • Buddha~ If you knew what I know about the power of giving you would not let a single meal pass without sharing it in some way.
  • Buddha~ Of all the worldly passions lust is the most intense. All other worldly passions seem to follow in its train.
  • Buddha~ To keep the body in good health is a duty. . . otherwise we shall not be able to keep our mind strong and clear.
  • Buddha~ To live a pure unselfish life one must count nothing as ones own in the midst of abundance.
  • Buddha~ You yourself as much as anybody in the entire universe deserve your love and affection.
  • Budgets help you worry before you spend money, as well as, afterward.
  • Bum Philips~ You may not be in a class by yourself but it sure doesnt take long to call the roll.
  • Bumper sticker in the year 2100: DISCO STILL SUCKS
  • Burnadette Devlin~ To gain that which is worth having it may be necessary to lose everything else.
  • Burt Bacharach~ A synonym is a word you use when you cant spell the word you first thought of.
  • Busier than a three legged cat in a dry sand box.
  • Business dispatched is business well done, But business hurried is business ill done. - Edward George Bulwer
  • Business was his aversion; Pleasure was his business. - Maria Edgeworth
  • But a stranger in a strange land, he is no one: men know him not-and to know not is to care not for. - Johnathan Swift
  • But man is not made for defeat. A man can be destroyed but not defeated. -Ernest Hemingway
  • But, Steve, if you bring back a $3.49 prime rib buffet, you'll have lines out the casino front door and down Las Vegas Blvd. -Mark Pilarski
  • But, it was no match for me at kick boxing.
  • Buy a Pentium 586/90 so you can reboot faster.
  • By living fully, recognizing that all we do is by His power, we honor God; He in turn blesses us. -Becky Laird
  • By love serve one another. -Galatians
  • By outward show let's not be cheated; An ass should like an ass be treated. - John Gay
  • By recording your dreams and goals on paper, you set in motion the process of becoming the person you most want to be.
  • By the time a man realizes that maybe his father was right, he usually has a son who thinks he's wrong. -Charles Wadworth
  • By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.
  • By the time you learn the rules of life, you're too old to play the game.
  • Byron J. Langenfeld~ Rare is the person who can weigh the faults of others without putting his thumb on the scales.
  • C term came about in the Roaring 20's, and its meaning hasn't changed. (see also Cool cat)
  • C'mon Jesus ain't gay! Judas kissed him!
  • C. D. Tavares~ Since when is public safety the root password to the Constitution
  • C. P. Snow~ The pursuit of happiness is a most ridiculous phrase if you pursue happiness youll never find it.
  • CAT (n): 1. Furry keyboard cover 2. Alarm clock
  • CAT - (kat') n. Dog with an attitude problem.
  • CAT ADVICE: Take some time to eat the flowers.
  • CAT RULE #8: Add roughage to hooman's food by shedding on it.
  • CAT: A small furry beast resembling a meatloaf.
  • CATFOOD??..?? You woke me up for a lousy can of CATFOOD??.
  • CAUTION! - Driver just doesn't give a shit anymore!
  • CAUTION! - I drive just like you!
  • CAUTION! - Vampire in trunk!
  • COBOL programmers understand why women hate periods.
  • COLIN POWELL VIRUS: Makes its presence known, but doesn't do anything. Secretly, you wish it would.
  • COMPASSION? Try it, you'll like it!
  • CUSTOMER: Can you make a pig cooler? WAITER: Sure, spray him with a hose.
  • Cabtender I'm fitshased call me a bar to take me drunk I'm home.
  • CaddyShack~ Spalding Smails This is good stuff. I got it from a Negro. Youre probably high already and you dont even know it.
  • Caecilius Statius~ The whole world is a mans birthplace.
  • Caesar Augustus~ Young men hear an old man to whom old men hearkened when he was young.
  • Calm is more conductive to creativity than is anxiety
  • Calvin Coolidge~ There is no right to strike against the public safety by anybody anywhere any time.
  • Camp Doctor: Your cough sounds better today! Camper: It should, I practised all night!
  • Can I test drive your vulva?
  • Can a cat play patty-cake? Pawsibly.
  • Can atheists get insurance for acts of God?
  • Can you imagine what I would do if I could do all I can? -Sun Tzu
  • Can you name two burgers who are royalty? Sir Loin and Burger King!
  • Can you read the following? Yy u r yy u b I c u r yy 4 me. Too wise you are, too wise you be, I see you are too wise for me.
  • Can you repeat the part after Listen very carefully?
  • Can you show me how to use the Internet? I'd better - otherwise you'll just go round and round in circles.
  • Can you spell eighty in two letters? A-T.
  • Can't Make It To Church. Just Too Many Human Sacrifices To Perform. Sorry.
  • Can't a cat look at a queen?
  • Can't get there from here.
  • Can't never did anything but fail (Mr. Eaton)
  • Can't shake the devil's hand and say you're only kidding.
  • Cannibal Boy: I've brought a friend home for dinner. Cannibal Mom: Put him in the fridge and we'll have him tomorrow.
  • Cardinal Mermillod~ A mother is she who can take the place of all others but whose place no one else can take.
  • Care must always be taken to avoid cutting the quick of the claw, when trimming cats nails.
  • Caring is a powerful business advantage. - Scott Johnson
  • Carl Gustav Jung~ The pendulum of the mind oscillates between sense and nonsense not between right and wrong.
  • Carl Jung~ Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.
  • Carl Jung~ Nobody as long as he moves about among the chaotic currents of life is without trouble.
  • Carl Jung~ The shoe that fits one person pinches another there is no recipe for living that suits all cases.
  • Carl Jung~ We cannot change anything unless we accept it. Condemnation does not liberate it oppresses.
  • Carl Lotus Becker~ All historians even the most scientific have bias if in no other sense than the determination not to have any.
  • Carl Lotus Becker~ My own mind is my own church.
  • Carl Reiner~ A lot of people like snow. I find it to be an unnecessary freezing of water.
  • Carl Rowen~ The library is the temple of learning and learning has liberated more people than all the wars in history.
  • Carl Sagan~ A celibate clergy is an especially good idea because it tends to suppress any hereditary propensity toward fanaticism.
  • Carl Sagan~ They laughed at Einstein. They laughed at the Wright Brothers. But they also laughed at Bozo the Clown.
  • Carl Sagan~ When you make the finding yourself - even if youre the last person on Earth to see the light - youll never forget it.
  • Carl Sandburg~ Let the gentle bush dig its root deep and spread upward to split the boulder.
  • Carl Sandburg~ Slang is a language that rolls up its sleeves spits on its hands and goes to work.
  • Carl Sandburg~ Sometime theyll give a war and nobody will come.
  • Carl W. Buechner~ They may forget what you said but they will never forget how you made them feel.
  • Carl Weick~ Chaotic action is preferable to orderly inaction.
  • Carol Burnett~ When you have a dream youve got to grab it and never let go.
  • Carol Burnett~ Words once they are printed have a life of their own.
  • Caroline Norton~ We have been friends together in sunshine and in shade.
  • Carolyn Kenmore~ If you can learn from hard knocks you can also learn from soft touches.
  • Carolyn Wells~ Actions lie louder than words.
  • Carrie Fisher~ Instant gratification takes too long.
  • Carrie~ There is no point at which you can say Well Im successful now. I might as well take a nap.
  • Casey Stengel~ Ability is the art of getting credit for all the home runs somebody else hits.
  • Caspar de Aguilar~ Porque el miedo sin ser Dios suele hacer algo de nada. (Fear can though it is not God create something from nothing.)
  • Cat + unattended keyboard = garbage all over screen
  • Cat Game #1: Hah - made you look.
  • Cat Game #7: Hide inside the smallest space.
  • Cat Note2self: Don't play 'dead cat on the stairs' while people are trying to bring in groceries or laundry.
  • Cat Note2self: I should not assume the patio door is open when I race outside to chase leaves.
  • Cat Note2self: It is not a good idea to try to lap up the powdered creamer before it all dissolves in the boiling coffee.
  • Cat Note2self: My hooman will notice if I start eating her sandwich from the other end.
  • Cat Note2self: No matter how dangly and attractive they are, my hooman's earrings are not cat toys.
  • Cat Note2self: Screaming at the can of food will not make it open itself.
  • Cat Note2self: The goldfish likes living in water and must be allowed to remain in its bowl.
  • Cat Note2self: The guinea pig likes to sleep once in a while. I will not watch him constantly.
  • Cat Note2self: The large dog in the back yard has lived there for six years. I will not freak out every time I see it.
  • Cat Philosophy - Always find a good patch of sun to nap in.
  • Cat Philosophy - Become someone's friend for life.
  • Cat Philosophy - Begin each day with a long hard stretch.
  • Cat Philosophy - Don't worry about big things.
  • Cat Philosophy - Don't worry about little things.
  • Cat Philosophy - If you can't get your way, lay across the keyboard till you do.
  • Cat Philosophy - Let sleeping dogs lie - literally.
  • Cat Philosophy - Long naps never go out of fashion.
  • Cat Philosophy - Make friends with the milkman.
  • Cat Philosophy - Make your mark in the world, or at least spray in each corner.
  • Cat Philosophy - Miaow and the world Miaows with you, hiss and you hiss alone.
  • Cat Philosophy - Never be discouraged by the words No, Stop That. or Bad Cat.
  • Cat Philosophy - Never purr half-heartedly.
  • Cat Philosophy - Play and sleep in cardboard boxes.
  • Cat Philosophy - To Be or NOT to .... ehhh, phhhffft - you already KNOW I am.
  • Cat Philosophy - When in doubt, cop an attitude.
  • Cat Philosophy - When in trouble, just purr and look cute.
  • Cat Phrase: Miioo-oo-oo - Means: I am in love and must meet my betrothed outside beneath the hedge. Don't wait up.
  • Cat Phrase: Mraakk. - Oh, small bird. Please come over here.
  • Cat Phrase: Mreeeow - Do you serve catnip with that?
  • Cat Phrase: Mrrrrrrrrrrroooooooww - Hold me, I am tired
  • Cat Phrase: moww - Means: Shedding is pretty good, too.
  • Cat Phrase: mrooww - Means: I love you.
  • Cat Phrase: mrowwwww - Means: I am now recalling, that some of my private parts did not return with me from that visit to the vet.
  • Cat Phrase: rrrow-mawww - Means: Please, the time is come to tidy the cat box.
  • Cat Phrase: ssssRoww - I believe that I have found a woodchuck or similar small animal. I shall now act terribly brave.
  • Cat Self-Disipline: Be comfortable ......
  • Cat Self-Disipline: Control yourself ......
  • Cat Self-Disipline: Fake what you don't know ......
  • Cat Self-Disipline: Grab at passing opportunities ......
  • Cat Self-Disipline: Ignore the ignorant ......
  • Cat Self-Disipline: Jog in your sleep ......
  • Cat Self-Disipline: Let it all hang out ......
  • Cat Self-Disipline: Make friends with your neighbors ......
  • Cat Self-Disipline: Return to your favorite places ......
  • Cat Self-Disipline: Take your time ......
  • Cat Self-Disipline: View things from more than one perspective ......
  • Cat Self-Disipline: Whatever happens, look as if it were intended .....
  • Cat Self-Disipline: Zzzz in the sunshine ......
  • Cat \kat\ n; small, four-legged, fur-bearing extortionist
  • Cat bathing is a martial art.
  • Cat bites are more likely to become infected than dog bites.
  • Cat eyes come in three shapes: round, slanted and almond.
  • Cat fur expands to fill all available drives.
  • Cat got your tongue?
  • Cat o'nine tails - A whip
  • Cat philosophy: I am, therefore give me tuna.
  • Cat philosophy: It doesn't hurt to ask for what you want.
  • Cat-eyed or cat eyes - Able to see in the dark
  • Cat: Animal that proves eating and sleeping is not ALL bad
  • Cat: Furry alarm clock.
  • Cat: Furry keyboard cover.
  • Cat: n. Lapwarmer with built-in buzzer.
  • Cat: n. Small mammal with an attitude problem.
  • Catastrophe theorists do it falling off part of a sheet.
  • Catch a can canner canning a can as he does the cancan, amd you've caught a can-canning can-canning can canner!
  • Catch on fire with enthusiasm and people will come for miles to watch you burn. -John Wesley
  • Catching Criminals by Hans Upp
  • Catgut - What tennis rackets and violin strings are made of
  • Catherine de Hueck~ With the gift of listening comes the gift of healing.
  • Cathy Guisewite~ Food love career and mothers the four major guilt groups.
  • Cathy Ladman~ My parents only had one argument in forty-five years. It lasted forty-three years.
  • Catnap - Sleeping for a short period of time
  • Catnip and catmints are mainly known for the behavioral effects they have on cats, particularly domestics.
  • Catnip is non-addictive.
  • Catnip or Catmint - marijuana for cats.
  • Cato the Elder~ I would much rather have men ask why I have no statue than why I have one.
  • Cato the Elder~ Lighter is the wound foreseen.
  • Cato the Elder~ Patience is the greatest of all virtues.
  • Cats always: Create a kindred feeling with other cat people.
  • Cats always: Display daring acrobatic feats right in front of our eyes.
  • Cats always: Give us cool cartoon characters.
  • Cats always: Have a way of getting what they want.
  • Cats always: Have the situation well under control.
  • Cats always: Inspire poets and playwrights.
  • Cats always: Instruct us in the luxurious art of stretching.
  • Cats always: Know whether people like or dislike them. They do not always care enough to do anything about it. - Winifred Carriere
  • Cats always: Let us indulge our desires to really spoil someone.
  • Cats always: Make us smile.
  • Cats always: Prefer Mice Krispies for breakfast.
  • Cats always: Raise our spirits.
  • Cats always: Want to mate when the hoomans have guests over.
  • Cats always: have to be the center of attention.
  • Cats are an alarm clock and are obligated to wake the hoomans.
  • Cats are companions. Dogs are slaves.
  • Cats are easier to train than most children.
  • Cats are easy to understand... if you're a woman.
  • Cats are generally more active during the evening hours.
  • Cats are independent, by which I mean smart. - D. Barry
  • Cats are more active during the evening hours.
  • Cats are natural paper shreaders.
  • Cats are quite capable of being on their own for the day. You don't need to hire a babysitter to watch them when you're out.
  • Cats are repelled by citrus scents, and a citrus-scented product may also help stop unwanted furniture destruction with clawing, etc.
  • Cats are room-mates. Dogs are kids.
  • Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow.
  • Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow. - Jeff Valdez
  • Cats are the higher purpose of the universe.
  • Cats aren't clean, they're just covered with cat spit.
  • Cats aren't threatened by a woman with short hair, or a man with long hair.
  • Cats aren't threatened if you earn more than they do.
  • Cats can be spayed or neutered so you never have to worry about them getting pregnant.
  • Cats can get tapeworms from eating fleas. These worms live inside the cat forever, or until they are removed with medication.
  • Cats can get tapeworms from eating mice. If your cat catches a mouse it is best to take the prize away from it.
  • Cats can keep themselves clean. You don't need to give them a bath every single day.
  • Cats come back to full alertness from the sleep state faster than any other creature.
  • Cats control the mouse population; dogs control the food left on the counter population.
  • Cats do not have problems expressing affection in public.
  • Cats don't brag about whom they have slept with.
  • Cats don't care if you're gay or straight.
  • Cats don't care whether you're a conservative or a liberal.
  • Cats don't complain. They are the masters of cool.
  • Cats don't feel threatened by your intelligence.
  • Cats don't keep harping you with stupid questions. They won't keep asking you why? at the most inconvenient times.
  • Cats don't kill their prey with their claws, the claws are used to hold onto the prey and the teeth are used actually to kill the prey.
  • Cats don't make a practice of killing their own species.
  • Cats don't make up stories about how big the fish was.
  • Cats don't need any excuses...
  • Cats don't need round-the-clock attention. They are the low-maintenance members of the family.
  • Cats don't need therapy to undo their bad socialization.
  • Cats don't need to wear the latest designer fashions.
  • Cats don't require milk formulas. Your grocery bill won't give you a headache.
  • Cats don't whine. Thankfully. Whining is just so annoying.
  • Cats eat grass to aid their digestion and to help them get rid of any fur in their stomachs.
  • Cats eyes come in three shapes: round, slanted and almond.
  • Cats have 290 bones in their bodies, and 517 muscles.
  • Cats have 32 muscles that control the outer ear (compared to hooman's 6 muscles each).
  • Cats have AB blood groups just like people.
  • Cats have a full inner-eyelid, or nictitating membrane. This inner-eyelid serves to help protect the eyes from dryness and damage.
  • Cats have a third eyelid at the inner corner of the eye. It is pale pink in color, and mostly visible if ill or has something in the eye.
  • Cats have nine lives. Teenagers carry on as if they did.
  • Cats have the largest eyes in proportion to their body size of all mammals.
  • Cats have the sense to eat only what's good for them; dogs will try anything, then leave the mess for you to clean up.
  • Cats have to beg for an ice cube everytime someone opens the freezer door.
  • Cats know all the sunny places.
  • Cats know curtains are for climbing.
  • Cats know how we feel. They don't particulary care, but they know.
  • Cats know leaping into the box helps their hooman pack.
  • Cats know licking or batting the empty food dish around will make food appear.
  • Cats know the bed is a WWF wrestling ring.
  • Cats know the box of aquarium supplies in the basement is a litter box.
  • Cats lived with soldiers in trenches, where they killed mice during World War I.
  • Cats meow - Something considered to be outstanding
  • Cats must act as if being tortured when being flea-powdered.
  • Cats must act like they are dying of hunger in front of Daddy.
  • Cats must activate the paw when there is food within snagging distance.
  • Cats must attack incoming faxes and chew them so that the hoomans can't read them.
  • Cats must bite their sister's butt until she hisses.
  • Cats must bring live snakes into the house.
  • Cats must call Mom's mother-in-law long distance at 2 a.m.
  • Cats must catch and eat lizards.
  • Cats must catch mice to give to the dog to eat.
  • Cats must chew the buttons off mom's bathrobe.
  • Cats must claim the cream cheese and lox bagel on the kitchen table as their own.
  • Cats must climb their hooman's leg to get tuna fish or pancakes.
  • Cats must drag dirty socks out of the laundry basket and bury them in the litter box.
  • Cats must drag dirty socks up from the basement in the middle of the night.
  • Cats must eat mom's make up.
  • Cats must faithfully chase the cursor around the screen.
  • Cats must fall asleep on Mom's back or chest.
  • Cats must gut their Bill Clinton catnip doll on the living room rug.
  • Cats must have urine wars with the new cat in the house on the kitchen counter.
  • Cats must help Mom with the jigsaw puzzles.
  • Cats must hiss and spit at the vet because it pleases their Mom greatly.
  • Cats must hook a claw into mom's nostril to wake her up on weekends.
  • Cats must jump on mom's lap immediately prior to the commercial breaks.
  • Cats must jump on the kitchen counter and make off with the roast chicken.
  • Cats must jump onto Dad's stomach when he is taking a nap.
  • Cats must knock over the stacks of CDs.
  • Cats must knock the area rugs all over the hardwood floor.
  • Cats must knock the phone off the hook just to hear the neat BEEP-BEEP-BEEP noise.
  • Cats must knock their toys under the refrigerator.
  • Cats must lick mom's eyes while she is trying to sleep.
  • Cats must lick the cheese from the grater when the hooman's back is turned.
  • Cats must lick the faucet to encourage their hooman to turn on the drinking water.
  • Cats must lick the other cats behind in front of Mom and her friends.
  • Cats must lick then bite their mom's legs when she comes out of the shower.
  • Cats must lie directly behind their hooman when she is putting on her makeup.
  • Cats must lie next to their hooman's ear and purr loudly.
  • Cats must lie on their hooman's girlfriend's chest with their butt in her face.
  • Cats must lie under the coffee table and hiss at all of mom's guests.
  • Cats must meow pitifully when their hoomans are having sex.
  • Cats must nap on the ladder steps when hooman cleans out the gutters.
  • Cats must need to use ALL the kitty litter to bury their poop.
  • Cats must open all the presents before Christmas.
  • Cats must open the breakfast muffins box and only eat one bite out of each.
  • Cats must pee in the hole in the carpet where the key to the gas fireplace goes.
  • Cats must play Charge of the Light Brigade with the other cat in the hallway at 3 am.
  • Cats must play attack Daddy's toes when cats want to be fed in the morning.
  • Cats must play find the mouse on the bed at midnight.
  • Cats must play in the toilet and get the seat wet so Mom will yell at Daddy.
  • Cats must play the game tiger attack when Mom is weeding the garden.
  • Cats must play trapeze artist on the curtain rods.
  • Cats must play with the ribbons when Mom is wrapping Christmas gifts.
  • Cats must put their head in their hooman's mouth while he is trying to eat.
  • Cats must put their tail/paws in places where they can be stepped on.
  • Cats must reset their hooman's alarm clock by walking on it.
  • Cats must shred the packaging on all prepackaged food so that they can do a taste test.
  • Cats must sit in mom's pants/underwear when she is on the throne.
  • Cats must sit on the key marked Del.
  • Cats must sit under the table and beg for scraps while clawing at Grandma Ethel's socks.
  • Cats must slam-dunk their tail into mom's first and *only* cup of coffee in the morning.
  • Cats must sleep INSIDE the back cushion of the sofa.
  • Cats must sleep on Dad's face & lick his nose while he tries to sleep.
  • Cats must sleep on their hooman's freshly washed and waxed car.
  • Cats must smurgle on Mom's $120 Polartec sweatshirt.
  • Cats must spray the kitchen garbage can.
  • Cats must stare at the hoomans while they are making whoopee.
  • Cats must steal Mom's Cheetos and leave them all licked but not eaten on her bed.
  • Cats must suck on the afghan/sweater Mom is trying to make.
  • Cats must teach the parrot to meow in a loud and raucous manner.
  • Cats must topple the spice rack going for the catnip.
  • Cats must toss their poop out of the litter box and play hockey with it.
  • Cats must trip Mom or Daddy on the way to the kitchen.
  • Cats must try to bite Mom's pen when she is writing.
  • Cats must try to climb on the hooman's lap when he/she is using the laptop computer.
  • Cats must try to dig to China from their litter box.
  • Cats must try to nibble the comb/brush when their Mom grooms them.
  • Cats must try to pick fights with cats looking in the house through a door or window.
  • Cats must turn on the toy train at 5:00 am and watch it.
  • Cats must turn over every glass just to watch the liquid pool.
  • Cats must use mom's new leather purse as a litter box.
  • Cats must use the ninja kitty paw strike to snag mom's dinner entree for their self.
  • Cats must wake Mom up in the morning by dropping a coffee maker on her head.
  • Cats must wake their hooman up at 3 am for breakfast.
  • Cats must walk in on a dinner party and commence licking their butt.
  • Cats need to check Daddy's aim in the bathroom.
  • Cats need to hiss at every visitor to make them feel at home.
  • Cats need to sample the contents of every pot on the stove.
  • Cats never: Cause you auto insurance to go up.
  • Cats never: Leave the top off the toothepaste.
  • Cats no less liquid than their shadows, offer no angles to wind, they slip diminished, neat, through loopholes less than themselves.
  • Cats open their eyes after five days and begin to develop their eyesight and hearing at approximately 2 weeks.
  • Cats paw - To be labeled a cats paw means someone has taken advantage of you and you weren't smart enough to catch on.
  • Cats pose a danger to pregnant women and immunosuppressed inividuals, since their feces can transmit toxoplasmosis.
  • Cats respond better to women than to men, probably due to the fact that women's voices have a higher pitch.
  • Cats seem to go on the principle that it never does any harm to ask for what you want.
  • Cats seem to go on the principle that it never does any harm to ask for what you want. - Joseph Wood Krutch
  • Cats should not be fed tuna exclusively, as it lacks taurine, an essential nutrient required for good feline health.
  • Cats should not drink Martinis.
  • Cats step with both left legs, then both right legs when they walk or run.
  • Cats use a variety of vocalizations including meowing, purring, trilling, hissing, growling, squeaking, chirping, clicking, and grunting.
  • Cats walk on their toes.
  • Cats were domesticated early in hooman history, with ancient Cyprus appearing to be the earliest known location of this process.
  • Cats with oriental body types tend to be thinner and more active.
  • Cats won't ask you for money.
  • Catskill Mountains: The land of dead mice.
  • Catullus~ I hate and I love. Perhaps you ask why I do so. I do not know but I feel it and am in agony.
  • Caution! Will brake for tailgaters.
  • Celebrate what you want to see more of. -Thomas J. Peters
  • Censorship? We don't have any censorship. If we did, I couldn't say XXXX or XXXX.
  • Cesare Lombroso~ Genius is one of the many forms of insanity.
  • Cesare Pavese~ We do not remember days we remember moments.
  • Chains of habit are too light to be felt until they are too heavy to be broken. (Warren Buffet)
  • Change in all things is sweet. -Aristotle
  • Change is difficult but often essential to survival. -Les Brown
  • Change is not merely necessary to life - it is life. -Alvin Toffler
  • Change is valuable when the oppressed become tyrants
  • Change yourself and your work will seem different. -Norman Vincent Peale
  • Chapman Cohen~ Gods are fragile things they may be killed by a whiff of science or a dose of common sense.
  • Character builds slowly, but it can be torn down with incredible swiftness. - Faith Baldwin
  • Character consists of what you do on the third and fourth tries.
  • Character consists of what you do on the third and fourth tries. -James A. Michener
  • Character consists of what you do on the third and fourth tries. -John Albert Michener
  • Character is a by-product; it is produced in the great manufacture of daily duty. -Woodrow T. Wilson
  • Character is always lost when a high ideal is sacrificed on the altar of conformity and popularity. -Unknown Author
  • Character is destiny. -Heraclitus
  • Character is like a tree and reputation its shadow. The shadow is what we think it is; the tree is the real thing.
  • Character is made by what you stand for; reputation, by what you fall for. (Robert Quillen)
  • Character is the result of two things: Mental attitude and the way we spend our time. -Elbert Hubbard
  • Character is the result of two things: mental attitude and the way we spend our time.
  • Character is what a person is in the dark.
  • Character is what a person is in the dark. (Dwight Moody)
  • Character may be manifested in the great moments, but it is made in the small ones. -Les Brown
  • Character must be kept bright as well as clean. - Lord Chesterfield
  • Charisma is the transference of enthusiasm. -Ralph Archbold
  • Charity begins at home. Success begins at work.
  • Charity may begin at home, but if it goes no further, it's no longer charity. It's clan loyalty.
  • Charles A. Dana~ Fight for your opinions but do not believe that they contain the whole truth or the only truth.
  • Charles Bukowski~ You begin saving the world by saving one person at a time all else is grandiose romanticism or politics.
  • Charles Buxton~ To make pleasures pleasant shorten them.
  • Charles Caleb Colton~ If you would be known and not know vegetate in a village If you would know and not be known live in a city.
  • Charles Caleb Colton~ Imitation is the sincerest of flattery.
  • Charles Caleb Colton~ Love lives on hope and dies when hope is dead It is a flame which sinks for lack of fuel.
  • Charles Caleb Colton~ The greatest friend of Truth is time her greatest enemy is Prejudice and her constant companion Humility.
  • Charles Churchill~ It cant be Nature for it is not sense.
  • Charles Churchill~ The best things carried to excess are wrong.
  • Charles De Gaulle~ A great country worthy of the name does not have any friends.
  • Charles De Gaulle~ How can anyone govern a nation that has different kinds of cheese
  • Charles De Gaulle~ How can one conceive of a one-party system in a country that has over varieties of cheeses
  • Charles De Gaulle~ How can you govern a country which has varieties of cheese
  • Charles De Gaulle~ In politics it is necessary either to betray ones country of the electorate. I prefer to betray the electorate.
  • Charles De Gaulle~ It will not be any European statesman who will unite Europe Europe will be united by the Chinese.
  • Charles De Gaulle~ Now I shall return to my village and there will remain at the disposition of the nation.
  • Charles De Gaulle~ Since a politician never believes what he says he is quite surprised to be taken at his word.
  • Charles De Gaulle~ The better I get to know men the more I find myself loving dogs.
  • Charles De Gaulle~ The graveyards are full of indispensable men.
  • Charles De Gaulle~ The national task that had been incumbent upon me for years is hereby confirmed.
  • Charles De Gaulle~ To govern is always to choose among disadvantages.
  • Charles Dickens~ Any man may be in good spirits and good temper when hes well dressed. There aint much credit in that.
  • Charles Dickens~ It was the best of times it was the worst of times.
  • Charles Dickens~ Minds like bodies will often fall into a pimpled ill-conditioned state from mere excess of comfort.
  • Charles Dickens~ There is a wisdom of the head and ... a wisdom of the heart.
  • Charles Du Bos~ The important thing is this to be able at any moment to sacrifice what we are for what we could become.
  • Charles Dudley Warner~ Regrets are idle yet history is one long regret. Everything might have turned out so differently.
  • Charles E. Jefferson~ Gratitude is born in hearts that take time to count up past mercies.
  • Charles Eddie Wiseman~ Were going to raise a lost generation of children unless they are properly disciplined and properly spanked.
  • Charles Evans Hughes~ While democracy must have its organizations and controls its vital breath is individual liberty.
  • Charles F. Kettering~ Our imagination is the only limit to what we can hope to have in the future.
  • Charles Francis Adams Sr.~ In this country men seem to live for action as long as they can and sink into apathy when they retire.
  • Charles Franklin Kettering~ Its amazing what ordinary people can do if they set out without preconceived notions.
  • Charles Franklin Kettering~ Our imagination is the only limit to what we can hope to have in the future.
  • Charles Franklin Kettering~ You cant have a better tomorrow if you are thinking about yesterday all the time.
  • Charles Galloway~ The single most important factor in determining the climate of an organization is the top executive.
  • Charles Gates Dawes~ Mediocrity requires aloofness to preserve its dignity.
  • Charles Gordon~ If you tell the truth you have infinite power supporting you but if not you have infinite power against you.
  • Charles Haddon Spurgeon~ Of two evils choose neither.
  • Charles Haddon Spurgeon~ You cannot slander human nature it is worse than words can paint it.
  • Charles Hamilton Aide~ I sit beside my lonely fire and pray for wisdom yet for calmness to remember or courage to forget.
  • Charles Kingsley~ Its all in the days work as the huntsman said when the lion ate him.
  • Charles Krauthammer~ Post-Watergate morality by which anything left private is taken as presumptive evidence of wrongdoing.
  • Charles Lamb~ Credulity is the mans weakness but the childs strength.
  • Charles Lamb~ Tis the privilege of friendship to talk nonsense and have her nonsense respected.
  • Charles Lindbergh~ Real freedom lies in wildness not in civilization.
  • Charles M. Schulz~ Dont worry about the world coming to an end today. Its already tomorrow in Australia.
  • Charles M. Schulz~ No problem is so formidable that you cant walk away from it.
  • Charles M. Schulz~ Theres a difference between a philosophy and a bumper sticker.
  • Charles McCabe~ Any clod can have the facts having opinions is an art.
  • Charles Mingu~ Making the simple complicated is commonplace making the complicated simple awesomely simple thats creativity.
  • Charles Monroe Schultz~ No problem is so formidable that you cant walk away from it.
  • Charles Peguy~ He who does not bellow the truth when he knows the truth makes himself the accomplice of liars and forgers.
  • Charles Reade~ Sow an act and you reap a habit. Sow a habit and you reap a character. Sow a character and you reap a destiny.
  • Charles Robert Darwin~ A man who dares to waste one hour of time has not discovered the value of life.
  • Charles Simic~ Poetry is an orphan of silence. The words never quite equal the experience behind them.
  • Charles Stanton~ In America one gets as much justice as one can afford. ()
  • Charles W. Chesnutt~ Theres time enough but none to spare.
  • Charles Wadsworth~ By the time a man realizes that maybe his father was right he usually has a son who thinks hes wrong.
  • Charles-Damian Boulogne~ To linger in the observation of things other than the self implies a profound conviction of their worth.
  • Charlie Brown~ Ive developed a new philosophy... I only dread one day at a time.
  • Charlie Finley~ Sweat plus sacrifice equals success.
  • Charlotte Bronte~ A ruffled mind makes a restless pillow.
  • Charlotte Bronte~ Look twice before you leap.
  • Charlotte Whitton~ Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily this is not difficult.
  • Charm is a product of the unexpected. - Jose Marti
  • Charm is getting the answer yes without asking a clear question. (Albert Camus)
  • Charter Member: International Xenophobe Society.
  • Charter Member: Vast Right Wing Conspiracy.
  • Chasing geese.
  • Chaste makes waste.
  • Chaucer~ Theres never a new fashion but its old.
  • Cheap sheep soup.
  • Cheerfulness and contentment are great beautifiers and are famous preservers of youthful looks. -Charles Dickens
  • Cheerfulness is contagious, but don't wait to catch it from others. Be a "carrier".
  • Cheerfulness is the best promoter of health and is as friendly to the mind as to the body. -Joseph Addison
  • Cherish your visions and your dreams, as they are the children of your soul; the blueprints of your ultimate achievements.
  • Cherish your visions and your dreams, as they are the children of your soul; the blueprints of your ultimate achievements. -Napoleon Hill
  • Chester Bowles~ There can be no real individual freedom in the presence of economic insecurity.
  • Chester William Nimitz~ A ship is always referred to as she because it costs so much to keep one in paint and powder.
  • Chickens: The only animals you eat before they are born and after they are dead.
  • Chico Marx~ Mustards no good without roast beef.
  • Child Age ~ Ive learned that you cant hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
  • Child Age ~ The people who think Tiny Tim is strange are the same ones who think it odd that I drive without pants.
  • Children are natural mimics. They act like their parents in spite of every attempt to teach them good manners.
  • Children in the back seats of cars cause accidents, but accidents in the back seats of cars cause children.
  • Children need love, especially when they do not deserve it. (Harold S. Hulbert)
  • Children need models rather than critics. -Joseph Joubert Persees
  • Chilo~ Be more prompt to go to a friend in adversity than in prosperity.
  • Chinese Curse~ May you always live in interesting times.
  • Chinua Achebe~ A man who makes trouble for others is also making trouble for himself.
  • Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life. -Confucius
  • Choose your love, love your choice.
  • Choosing what you want to do, and when to do it, is an act of creation. -Peter Mcwilliams
  • Choosy cats prefer Microsoft mice, 10 to 1
  • Chris Clark~ URLs are the numbers of the s.
  • Chris Marie Evert~ Youve got to take the initiative and play your game. In a decisive set confidence is the difference.
  • Chris Rapier~ I hate life I hate death and everything in between just doesnt interest me.
  • Christ's table is open to all... Guess who's coming to dinner!
  • Christian Math: 1 + 1 + 1 = 1
  • Christian Nestell Bovee~ For Gods sake dont say yes until Ive finished talking.
  • Christian Williams~ Words are a heavy thing...they weigh you down. If birds talked they couldnt fly.
  • Christianity has Pagan DNA!
  • Christianity is not a crutch. It's a pair of wings.
  • Christians: can't live with them can't feed lions without them.
  • Christina Baldwin~ Ritual is the way you carry the presence of the sacred. Ritual is the spark that must not go out.
  • Christina Georgina Rossetti~ He who has gone so we but cherish his memory abides with us more potent nay more present than the living man.
  • Christina Montano~ You cant put a Band-Aid on every boo-boo youve made some just need time to heal...
  • Christina Petrowsky~ Autumn is the bite of the harvest apple.
  • Christine Bovee~ Doubt whom you will but never yourself.
  • Christine Lane~ It is the province of knowledge to speak It is the privledge of wisdom to listen.
  • Christopher Darlington Morley~ In every mans heart there is a secret nerve that answers to the vibration of beauty.
  • Christopher Marlowe~ Who ever loved that loved not at first sight
  • Christopher Morley~ Life is a foreign language all men mispronounce it.
  • Christopher North~ Laws were made to be broken.
  • Christopher Reeve~ Dont give up. Dont lose hope. Dont sell out.
  • Christopher Reeve~ Either you decide to stay in the shallow end of the pool or you go out in the ocean.
  • Chrysippus~ Thought is the fountain of speech.
  • Chuang-tzu~ Once youve gotten the meaning you can forget the words.
  • Chuang-tzu~ Rewards and punishments are the lowest form of education.
  • Church is the only place I know, where I can arrive late and get the best seats in the house!
  • Church members are either pillars or caterpillars..the pillars hold up the church, and the caterpillars just crawl in and out.
  • Churton Collins~ In prosperity our friends know us in adversity we know our friends.
  • Cicero~ A friend is as it were a second self.
  • Cicero~ A mind without instruction can no more bear fruit than can a field however fertile without cultivation.
  • Cicero~ Endless money forms the sinews of war.
  • Cicero~ Let your desires be ruled by reason.
  • Cicero~ Live as brave men and if fortune is adverse front its blows with brave hearts.
  • Cicero~ Natural ability without education has more often attained to glory and virtue than education without natural ability.
  • Cicero~ Nature herself makes the wise man rich.
  • Cicero~ Our span of life is brief but is long enough for us to live well and honestly.
  • Cicero~ Reason should direct and appetite obey.
  • Cicero~ Strain every nerve to gain your point.
  • Cicero~ The absolute good is not a matter of opinion but of nature.
  • Cicero~ The peoples good is the highest law.
  • Cicero~ The wise are instructed by reason ordinary minds by experience the stupid by necessity and brutes by instinct.
  • Cicero~ There are some duties we owe even to those who have wronged us. There is after all a limit to retribution and punishment.
  • Cicero~ To be content with what one has is the greatest and truest of riches.
  • Cicero~ To each his own.
  • Cicero~ Where is there dignity unless there is honesty
  • Circumstances do not make the man, they reveal him. - James Allen
  • Civilization is defined by the presence of cats.
  • Civilizations die from suicide, not by murder. -Arnold Toynbee
  • Claiborne Pell~ My opponent called me a cream puff. ... Well I rushed out and got the bakers union to endorse me.
  • Clare Ansberry~ Gardens and flowers have a way of bringing people together drawing them from their homes.
  • Clare Booth Luce~ Courage is the ladder on which all the other virtues mount.
  • Clare Booth Luce~ No good deed goes unpunished.
  • Clare Booth Luce~ You see few people here in America who really care very much about living a Christian life in a democratic world.
  • Clarence Darrow~ The man who fights for his fellow-man is a better man than the one who fights for himself.
  • Clarence Thomas~ Good manners will open doors that the best education cannot.
  • Class structure is as artificial as plastic
  • Claude Adrien Helvetius~ Genius is nothing but continued attention.
  • Claude Levi-Strauss~ The scientist is not a person who gives the right answers hes one who asks the right questions.
  • Claude Levi-Strauss~ The world began without man and it will complete itself without him.
  • Claude T Bissell~ The Social Sciences are good at accounting for disasters once they have taken place.
  • Claude T Bissell~ Yearning is not only a good way to go crazy but also a pretty good place to hide out from hard truth.
  • Claudianus~ He who desires is always poor.
  • Clementine Paddleford~ Never grow a wishbone daughter where your backbone ought to be.
  • Cleobulus~ Learn to bear bravely changes of fortune.
  • Clifton Fadiman~ Cheese - milks leap toward immortality.
  • Clifton Fadiman~ Ones first book kiss home run is always the best.
  • Clifton Paul Fadiman~ A sense of humor is the ability to understand a joke and that the joke is oneself.
  • Clifton Paul Fadiman~ I think we must quote whenever we feel that the allusion is interesting or helpful or amusing.
  • Clinton can't feel my pain, Clinton IS my pain!
  • Clive James~ It is only when they go wrong that machines remind you how powerful they are.
  • Clive Staples Lewis~ Courage is not simply one of the virtues but the form of every virtue at the testing point.
  • Clowder of cats - a group of cats
  • Clown: Why are you wearing such a large shirt? Second Clown: I always perform in the big top.
  • Cocaine is God's way of telling you you're making too much money. - Robin Williams
  • Colder than a witches tit in a brass bra.
  • Colette~ It is wise to apply the oil of refined politeness to the mechanisms of friendship.
  • Colette~ The true traveler is he who goes on foot and even then he sits down a lot of the time.
  • Colette~ We only do well the things we like doing.
  • Colette~ You will do foolish things but do them with enthusiasm.
  • Colin Powell~ There are no secrets to success. It is the result of preparation hard work and learning from failure.
  • Colley Cibber~ Our hours in love have wings in absence crutches.
  • Colley Cibber~ Possession is eleven points in the law.
  • Come home to men's business and bosoms. - Francis Bacon
  • Come kick six sticks quick.
  • Come the rapture, we'll have the earth to ourselves!
  • Coming to America~ King Jaffe Joffer So you see my son there is a very fine line between love and nausea.
  • Coming to America~ Rev. Brown If lovin the lord is wrong I dont want to be right.
  • Coming to America~ Reverend Brown Girl you look so good someone ought to put you on a plate and sop you up with a biscuit.
  • Committee: A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.
  • Common sense isn't very common.
  • Compassion is no substitute for justice. -Rush Limbaugh
  • Compassion is the antitoxin of the soul: where there is compassion even the most poisonous impulses remain relatively harmless. - Eric Hoffer
  • Compatible: Gracefully accepts erroneous data from any source.
  • Computer Museum~ Usenet isnt a right. Its a right a left and a swift uppercut to the jaw.
  • Computer Science: solving today's problems tomorrow.
  • Computer and TV screens exist to backlight a cats lovely tail.
  • Computer and car salesmen differ in that the latter know when they are lying.
  • Computer programmers don't byte, they nibble a bit.
  • Computers are a more fun way to do the same work you'd have to do without them.
  • Computers are unreliable, but humans are even more unreliable.
  • Conan Doyle~ It has long been an axiom of mine that the little things are infinitely the most important.
  • Conan Doyle~ It is a great thing to start life with a small number of really good books which are your very own.
  • Conan Doyle~ It is an old maxim of mine that when you have excluded the impossible whatever remains however improbable must be the truth.
  • Conan Doyle~ The case has in some respects been not entirely devoid of interest.
  • Conan Doyle~ You see but you do not observe.
  • Concentration is the ability to think about absolutely nothing when it is absolutely necessary. -Ray Knight
  • Concentration is the secret of strengths in politics, in war, in trade, in short in all management of human affairs. -Ralph Waldo Emerson
  • Conditions are never just right. People who delay action until all factors are favorable do nothing. (William Feather)
  • Confidence is a lot of this game or any game. If you don't think you can, you won't. -Jerry West
  • Confidence is a very fragile thing. -Joe Montana
  • Confidence is contagious. So is lack of confidence.
  • Confidence is courage at ease. -Daniel Maher
  • Confucius Say: Man who drive like hell bound to get there.
  • Confucius Say: Man who jumps off cliff, jumps to conclusion!
  • Confucius Say: Man who sit on tack get point!
  • Confucius Say: Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cathouse.
  • Confucius~ A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.
  • Confucius~ Be not ashamed of mistakes and thus make them crimes.
  • Confucius~ Everything has its beauty but not everyone sees it.
  • Confucius~ Forget injuries never forget kindnesses.
  • Confucius~ He who speaks without modesty will find it difficult to make his words good.
  • Confucius~ Hold faithfulness and sincerity as first principles.
  • Confucius~ I do not want a friend Who smiles when I smile Who weeps when I weep For my shadow in the pool Can do better than that.
  • Confucius~ If a man takes no thought about what is distant he will find sorrow near at hand.
  • Confucius~ Is virtue a thing remote I wish to be virtuous and lo Virtue is at hand.
  • Confucius~ It is only the wisest and the stupidest that cannot change.
  • Confucius~ Silence is the true friend that never betrays.
  • Confucius~ The essence of knowledge is having it to apply it not having it to confess your ignorance.
  • Confucius~ The man of virtue makes the difficulty to be overcome his first business and success only a subsequent consideration.
  • Confucius~ The people may be made to follow a path of action but they may not be made to understand it.
  • Confucius~ The perfecting of ones self is the fundamental base of all progress and all moral development.
  • Confucius~ The superior man is modest in his speech but exceeds in his actions.
  • Confucius~ The superior man makes the difficulty to be overcome his first interest success only comes later.
  • Confucius~ The superior man...does not set his mind either for anything or against anything what is right he will follow.
  • Confucius~ The wheel of fortune turns round incessantly and who can say to himself I shall to-day be uppermost.
  • Confucius~ To be wronged is nothing unless you continue to remember it.
  • Confucius~ To see what is right and not to do it is want of courage or of principle.
  • Confucius~ Wealth and rank are what people desire but unless they be obtained in the right way they may not be possessed.
  • Confucius~ When we see men of a contrary character we should turn inwards and examine ourselves.
  • Conrad Hilton~ Success seems to be connected with action. Successful men keep moving. They make mistakes but they dont quit.
  • Conservatives suck
  • Consider how hard it is to change yourself; and you will understand what little chance you have trying to change others.
  • Constipated people don't give a crap.
  • Consumers are statistics. Customers are people. -Stanley Marcus
  • Conte Vittorio Alfieri~ Often the test of courage is not to die but to live.
  • Conte Vittorio Alfieri~ What we plan we build.
  • Contentment is not to be found in having what you want, but rather wanting what you have
  • Contractor's Hymn -- "The Church's One Foundation"
  • Controlled time is our true wealth. -Buckminster Fuller
  • Conviction is worthless unless it is converted into conduct. (Thomas Carlyle)
  • Copy from one its plagiarism. Copy from two its research.
  • Corazn Cojuangco Aquino~ All the world wondered as they witnessed ... a people lift themselves from humiliation to the greatest pride.
  • Corazn Cojuangco Aquino~ It is not I who have been consigned to the bedroom of history.
  • Corita Kent~ Love the moment and the energy of that moment will spread beyond all boundaries.
  • Cornelius Tacitus~ I am my nearest neighbour.
  • Cornelius Tacitus~ Keen at the start but careless at the end.
  • Cornelius Tacitus~ That cannot be safe which is not honourable.
  • Could Jesus change a water cooler into a wine cooler?
  • Could you drive any better if I shoved that cell phone up your ASS?
  • Could you kill a monster just by throwing eggs at him? Of course - he'd be eggs-terminated.
  • Count your age with friends but not with years. - Anonymous
  • Count your rainbows, not your thunderstorms.
  • Courage is being afraid but going on anyhow. -Dan Rather
  • Courage is doing without witnesses that which we would be capable of doing before everyone. -Francois, Duc de La Rochefoucauld
  • Courage is fear holding on a minute longer. -George S. Patton
  • Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear.
  • Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear. -Ambrose Redmoon
  • Courage is not the absence of fear. Courage is the presence of fear with the capacity to manage and overcome it.
  • Courage is the first of human qualities because it is the quality which guarantees all others. -Winston Churchill
  • Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak. Courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen. (Winston Churchill)
  • Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen. -Unknown Author
  • Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen. -Winston Churchill
  • Courage to start and willingness to keep everlasting at it are the requisites for success. -Alonzo Newton Benn
  • Cover me! I'm changing lanes.
  • Crazier than a crap house rat.
  • Creative minds always have been known to survive any kind of bad training. -Anna Freud
  • Crime has already been organised. Now it's up to the police.
  • Criminal Lawyer is a redundancy.
  • Criminal: Why don't you hire these twins for the robbery, boss? Criminal Boss: I'm afraid of a double-cross.
  • Criticism is prejudice made plausible. -Vladimir Nabokov
  • Criticism should always leave people with the feeling that they have been helped.
  • Crow The~ Eric Draven Its not a good day to be a bad guy.
  • Crow The~ T-Bird You know Lake Eerie actually caught on fire once from all the crap floating around in it. I wish I couldve seen that.
  • Crowfoot~ What is life It is the flash of a firefly in the night. It is the breath of a buffalo in the winter time.
  • Cullen Hightower~ Laughing at our mistakes can lengthen our own life. Laughing at someone elses can shorten it.
  • Cullen Hightower~ The true measure of your worth includes all the benefits others have gained from your success.
  • Cullen Hightower~ There are people who can talk sensibly about a controversial issue theyre called humorists.
  • Cullen Hightower~ Those who agree with us may not be right but we admire their astuteness.
  • Cullen Hightower~ We may not imagine how our lives could be more frustrating and complex - but Congress can.
  • Cultivate money and you grow rich. Cultivate mind and you raise culture.
  • Curt Simmons~ Throwing a fastball to Henry Aaron is like trying to sneak the sun past a rooster.
  • Customer: Couldn't you see I was going bald? Barber: No, the shine from your head blinded me.
  • Customer: Do you have bacon and eggs on the menu:Waiter: No, we clean our menus regularly.
  • Customer: How come the Board of Health hasn't come in and closed you up? Waiter: They're afraid to eat here.
  • Customer: I didn't order this. Waiter: I know, but your meal tastes worse.
  • Customer: I thought the meals here were supposed to be like mother used to make. Waiter: They are. She couldn't cook either.
  • Customer: I'd like a watch that tells time. Clerk: Don't you have a watch that tells time? Customer: No, you have to look at it.
  • Customer: That crust on the apple pie was too tough. Waiter: That wasn't the crust, that was the pie plate.
  • Customer: Waiter, I found a hair in my turtle soup. Waiter: How about that! The turtle and the hare finally got together.
  • Customer: Why does your sign say Fine Dining? Waiter: We can dream, can't we?
  • Customer: You said these pants were pure wool, but the label says all cotton. Salesman: Oh, that's just to keep the moths away.
  • Cutting Edge: The time between buying your new computer and unpacking it at home.
  • Cynthia Nelms~ Nobody really cares if youre miserable so you might as well be happy.
  • Cyrano Savinien de Bergerac~ I may climb perhaps to no great heights but I will climb alone.
  • Cyril Connolly~ Everything is a dangerous drug except reality which is unendurable.
  • Cyril Connolly~ Literature is the art of writing something that will be read twice journalism what will be grasped at once.
  • Cyril Connolly~ Literature is the art of writing something that will be read twice journalism what will be read once.
  • Cyril Connolly~ The dread of loneliness is greater than the fear of bondage so we get married.
  • D. A. Battista~ No one is exempt from talking nonsense the mistake is to do it solemnly.
  • D. Elton Trueblood~ Faith is not belief without proof but trust without reservation.
  • D. H. Lawrence~ How beautiful maleness is if it finds its right expression.
  • D. H. Lawrence~ hy doesnt the past decently bury itself instead of sitting waiting to be admired by the present
  • D. Morgan~ If you hear a different drummer - dreamer take a chance . . . The road you choose to travel means the difference in the dance.
  • DIVORCE: The screwing you get for the screwing you got.
  • DOS Tip #17: Add DEVICE=FNGRCROS.SYS to CONFIG.SYS
  • Dad: Why is your January report card so bad? Son: Well, you know how it is. Things are always marked down after Christmas!
  • Daddy, why doesn't this magnet pick up this floppy disk?
  • Dag Hammarskjld~ I am the vessel. The draft is Gods. And God is the thirsty one.

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